Page 3 | In tears with disappointment

forgotaboutmyteeth · 2025-12-15T21:57:35+00:00

My daughter had her baby two days ago We planned to drive up to see her tomorrow. A 4-5 hour journey so I'd booked a B&B. The car needed its MOT today, so we boked at the usual garage, emphasising that it must be finished tonight. At 4:30 he phoned to say he'd been delayed but would be finished by 5:30. At 6:30 DH went to find out what was going on, and the place was locked up. DH phoned ,and the owner said he'd popped home and would be back and finished by 8pm. Now, at 9:50 DH is back there. We aren't going, are we? We have other commitments on Thursday Friday and Saturday, so it had to be tomorrow and the next day. I want to meet my grandchild, and hear how the delivery went.

Namechangerage · 16/12/2025 00:24

Livelovelaughfuckoff · 15/12/2025 22:32

Glad you’re sorted now but I’d still be prioritising seeing my child and grandchild over an early Christmas celebration!

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Yes.

OP, I assume your DH isn’t biological grandfather to the new baby in your life, and you aren’t biological grandmother to his grandchildren? I know you’ve sorted it now, but it’s concerning you would have prioritised your DH seeing his grandchildren who he has met before over meeting your grandchild for the first time and supporting your DD?! Don’t you want to stay there longer than one night?

MannersAreAll · 16/12/2025 00:28

forgotaboutmyteeth · 15/12/2025 22:34

So would I, but DH probably feels more strongly about his grandchildren. I've spent all day prepping food for that, so we would be free to do both.

Then he can deal with his children and grandchildren and you can visit yours.

If you have no absolute need to be back then prioritise your DD and your grandchild.

You can get the train home and your DH can pick you up from the station.

DBD1975 · 16/12/2025 01:27

If not fixed get the mechanic to lend you his car.

canuckup · 16/12/2025 01:38

She's been lent the mechanics car!!!!!

ByRoseBird · 16/12/2025 03:44

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Namechange2567 · 16/12/2025 03:58

Congratulations, OP! Glad you’re sorted. I’d be cautious with what others have said about staying longer unless DD has suggested it. My in laws met baby at 12 days old and were so intense it has ruined our relationship. They’ve seen him once since and won’t again until he’s 9 months simply because I don’t want them around as they insisted on him being passed around, kissing him etc. I wanted my mam to meet DS but she understood it was for 5 minutes only and then I wanted her to leave. I’d be really careful about respecting your DDs wishes as you sound very excited

sashh · 16/12/2025 05:35

Congratulations.

Have a safe and swift journey.

KilliMonjaro · 16/12/2025 06:03

Hire a car? Get a train?

ChefsKisser · 16/12/2025 06:37

Namechange2567 · 16/12/2025 03:58

Congratulations, OP! Glad you’re sorted. I’d be cautious with what others have said about staying longer unless DD has suggested it. My in laws met baby at 12 days old and were so intense it has ruined our relationship. They’ve seen him once since and won’t again until he’s 9 months simply because I don’t want them around as they insisted on him being passed around, kissing him etc. I wanted my mam to meet DS but she understood it was for 5 minutes only and then I wanted her to leave. I’d be really careful about respecting your DDs wishes as you sound very excited

This is very strange! Children should be surrounded by love. A 5 min visit from a grandparent is mad! My mum stayed with us for a week after we had our second she’s an angel.

Alondra · 16/12/2025 06:44

Just catching up with the thread.

I'm delighted the problems have worked out, and you'll be meeting your granddaughter tomorrow.

InlandTaipan · 16/12/2025 06:46

Namechange2567 · 16/12/2025 03:58

Congratulations, OP! Glad you’re sorted. I’d be cautious with what others have said about staying longer unless DD has suggested it. My in laws met baby at 12 days old and were so intense it has ruined our relationship. They’ve seen him once since and won’t again until he’s 9 months simply because I don’t want them around as they insisted on him being passed around, kissing him etc. I wanted my mam to meet DS but she understood it was for 5 minutes only and then I wanted her to leave. I’d be really careful about respecting your DDs wishes as you sound very excited

This says so much more about you than your in-laws or your poor mum.

JacknDiane · 16/12/2025 07:51

So glad its sorted and you can have a lovely visit with your dd and dgc.

LaurieFairyCake · 16/12/2025 08:11

Have a wonderful time, a new baby is such a blessing at Christmas

FlorenceAndTheVagine · 16/12/2025 08:16

Namechange2567 · 16/12/2025 03:58

Congratulations, OP! Glad you’re sorted. I’d be cautious with what others have said about staying longer unless DD has suggested it. My in laws met baby at 12 days old and were so intense it has ruined our relationship. They’ve seen him once since and won’t again until he’s 9 months simply because I don’t want them around as they insisted on him being passed around, kissing him etc. I wanted my mam to meet DS but she understood it was for 5 minutes only and then I wanted her to leave. I’d be really careful about respecting your DDs wishes as you sound very excited

This is horrible!

Americano75 · 16/12/2025 08:22

Enjoy your cuddles, please let us know how it went!

Zippidydoodah · 16/12/2025 08:33

Namechange2567 · 16/12/2025 03:58

Congratulations, OP! Glad you’re sorted. I’d be cautious with what others have said about staying longer unless DD has suggested it. My in laws met baby at 12 days old and were so intense it has ruined our relationship. They’ve seen him once since and won’t again until he’s 9 months simply because I don’t want them around as they insisted on him being passed around, kissing him etc. I wanted my mam to meet DS but she understood it was for 5 minutes only and then I wanted her to leave. I’d be really careful about respecting your DDs wishes as you sound very excited

Gosh your poor mum!

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 16/12/2025 08:39

Namechange2567 · 16/12/2025 03:58

Congratulations, OP! Glad you’re sorted. I’d be cautious with what others have said about staying longer unless DD has suggested it. My in laws met baby at 12 days old and were so intense it has ruined our relationship. They’ve seen him once since and won’t again until he’s 9 months simply because I don’t want them around as they insisted on him being passed around, kissing him etc. I wanted my mam to meet DS but she understood it was for 5 minutes only and then I wanted her to leave. I’d be really careful about respecting your DDs wishes as you sound very excited

That’s one of the most toxic things I’ve read on here.
Sometimes grandparents get carried away and it can take time for them to learn appropriate boundaries but refusing to see them for 9 months to show them who’s boss is bullying and controlling.

AntoinetteNoCake · 16/12/2025 08:43

Namechange2567 · 16/12/2025 03:58

Congratulations, OP! Glad you’re sorted. I’d be cautious with what others have said about staying longer unless DD has suggested it. My in laws met baby at 12 days old and were so intense it has ruined our relationship. They’ve seen him once since and won’t again until he’s 9 months simply because I don’t want them around as they insisted on him being passed around, kissing him etc. I wanted my mam to meet DS but she understood it was for 5 minutes only and then I wanted her to leave. I’d be really careful about respecting your DDs wishes as you sound very excited

This is heartbreaking. Your poor mum, poor in-laws, poor baby being deprived of all that love

TheApocalypticiansApprentice · 16/12/2025 09:23

Bloody hell, @Namechange2567 - you have completely missed the point of a new baby! Which is to be kissed and passed around the loving relatives who have eagerly awaited its arrival. And I’m pretty sure if you looked at relevant research it would show that that earliest contact is what establishes lifelong bonds and prompts both immunity responses and socialisation.

What an awful shame for both the grandparents and your baby to have been deprived of all this. All you’ve done is provoke probably lifelong disappointment and resentment.

If joyful welcoming of newborn babies was unhelpful for our evolution, human beings would have died out thousands of years ago. Quite why you felt it necessary to cast aside all of human history is … a mystery.

Monty34 · 16/12/2025 09:25

Scared0112 · 15/12/2025 22:03

Train up? Hire car?

I would avoid a train this time of year due to lack of spaces and flu. Car much better.

SarahAndQuack · 16/12/2025 09:30

Good lord ... I was going to post and say to @Namechangerage that the OP might have very good reasons why she wasn't planning a long stay (and it could be her DD didn't want to be overwhelmed in the early days). But blimey, @Namechange2567, that's ... not normal. I think people are really different in terms of what they want and what feels supportive. I wouldn't have wanted anyone around for longer than a few hours when DD was very new (not that we got the chance; she was in hospital), and I definitely wouldn't have wanted my mum to miss out on a Christmas celebration with grandchildren old enough to miss their granny. But seeing family being excited about a new baby is lovely!

EssentialGarage · 16/12/2025 09:33

Why on earth would you book it today if it was so essential.

Anything can happen any time. It could have failed the MOT, a fuel pump isn't a small job.

Garages aren't magicians, having a delay with your car doesn't mean they are no longer reliable and helpful.

SirChenjins · 16/12/2025 09:38

Glad it all got sorted OP - have a wonderful time, and congratulations to you all! How lovely to have a new baby in the family, just before Christmas

SarahAndQuack · 16/12/2025 09:41

EssentialGarage · 16/12/2025 09:33

Why on earth would you book it today if it was so essential.

Anything can happen any time. It could have failed the MOT, a fuel pump isn't a small job.

Garages aren't magicians, having a delay with your car doesn't mean they are no longer reliable and helpful.

She did explain - the baby was late. You can't keep waiting around forever!

I can't imagine being upset my mum had car issues in that context, and it's all sorted.

EssentialGarage · 16/12/2025 09:44

SarahAndQuack · 16/12/2025 09:41

She did explain - the baby was late. You can't keep waiting around forever!

I can't imagine being upset my mum had car issues in that context, and it's all sorted.

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Being upset of course. But questioning the reliability and helpfulness?

The fact that the baby was late, they could have booked it in last month, or last week. It is ridiculous to expect it to be all completely fine just because it has in the past. Anything can cause delay.