Page 2 | Weird things people have done in your house

Serendipetty · 2025-12-14T19:45:06+00:00

I had a lodger a couple of years ago. He is still a neighbour of mine and now and again he looks after my dog for me. He's happy to do this as he misses the dog. Anyway recently we were having a conversation and I mentioned that I was moving house. I currently live in a small, old house with one bathroom. I mentioned that I would be happier in the new place as it was larger, had two bathrooms etc. He said that often, while living with me, if I was in the bathroom using the bath or in a long time for whatever reason, he'd have to go down into the basement bedroom, take his underwear off, poo in it and then throw it away. I was speechless. Honestly, if you're caught short and desperate I am sure there are better ways to deal?

Original poster

Serendipetty · 15/12/2025 09:39

Arlanymor · 14/12/2025 23:02

Oh go on then... and it was me. Years and years and years ago (uni days), my ex-boyfriend temporarily moved into a shared house with two other guys while he was waiting to move into the flat he had bought. One of them had form for making passes at me - blatantly in front of my boyfriend, despite being told off by both of us several times, and the other had been signed off work because of excessive marijuana use - so much so that one night he took everyone's shoes in the house and used them to make a 'nest' under his bed. I was living in London, my boyfriend was in Redhill. I never, ever stayed there overnight.

Until one day when I was there on a Sunday afternoon and my mum called to say my great aunt had died and I needed to come home. Home at the time was in Horsham - only about 20 minutes on the train, but nothing was running due to engineering works. There was no point me going back to London that night to come all the way back down to Sussex the following day. So I stayed the night.

The only bathroom was downstairs and through the lounge and then the kitchen. This is important.

My boyfriend and I went out to the pub to have some food - to get out of the house and blow some cobwebs away. Then we came back around 11pm and went to bed. About 2am I woke up and I desperately needed the loo - I had gone before bedtime but I'd had a bit more (grief) wine than usual and also anxiety makes you want to pee right?

His bedroom was on the top floor and I made it down two flights of stairs and was just outside the lounge. Both guys were in there on the PlayStation - these people never seemed to sleep. I just couldn't stand the thought of talking to Mr Mad Shoe Nest or dealing with Mr 'I'm Only Being Friendly' Sex Pest. I would have had to go through the lounge - kitchen - toilet - kitchen - lounge - to have a wee and back to bed and I just couldn't stand the thought.

Today Me knows I should have woken my ex and got him to come down with me - but Then Me knew he had work the next day, my brain was a bit fried... so I went back up to the room. Luckily he had a big cheese plant and I then elected to have the world's most silent (but violent) wee into the plant pot in his room. I ended up opening his window quietly and tipping out the 'excess fluid' that hadn't soaked into the soil of the pot into the garden below.

We were together for another four years. And when we met later - probably a year after the split, just to say hello, I ended up blurting out what I had done. Luckily he thought it was funny and said: "I wondered why it went brown overnight and then just gave up on life!" Once in a while we still cross paths and he likes to remind me of my toxic wee... which wouldn't have been a thing if he hadn't have chosen to live with toxic roommates!

Oh lord! Am I the only one feeling sorry for the plant? 😂

OP posts:

Kingsleadhat · 15/12/2025 09:42

DonaldJohnTrump · 14/12/2025 19:53

Weeelll, let's be trueful here.
Who hasn't done this?
I don't even bother going down to the basement!
Yer know, you've seen them pictures of me, looks like I'm sleeping - I'm not! I'm just focused, concentrating, if you will, on the 'job' on hand.
And as they say at the Wimbledondon tennis game - "New underpants, please"

I know someone who opted to shit himself rather than leave the queue for Christmas turkey at Waitrose (I know! Waitrose!). Told us like it was a funny anecdote.

Original poster

Serendipetty · 15/12/2025 11:05

Kingsleadhat · 15/12/2025 09:42

I know someone who opted to shit himself rather than leave the queue for Christmas turkey at Waitrose (I know! Waitrose!). Told us like it was a funny anecdote.

Show quote history

Some people do seem to normalise shitting themselves. I have a friend who once was desperate for a wee after too much wine, at another friend's house and decided to use the kitchen sink. Didn't just need a wee however....

OP posts:

Kingsleadhat · 15/12/2025 11:09

Serendipetty · 15/12/2025 11:05

Some people do seem to normalise shitting themselves. I have a friend who once was desperate for a wee after too much wine, at another friend's house and decided to use the kitchen sink. Didn't just need a wee however....

Show quote history

Horrific

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 15/12/2025 11:12

I once had a workman turn all the mugs in my kitchen cupboard upside down and sort them by type. I had already made him a drink and he wasn't even working in the kitchen.

Original poster

Serendipetty · 15/12/2025 19:53

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 15/12/2025 11:12

I once had a workman turn all the mugs in my kitchen cupboard upside down and sort them by type. I had already made him a drink and he wasn't even working in the kitchen.

Now THAT'S weird!

OP posts:

Vodka1 · 16/12/2025 09:08

Oohh, I have a pole in my bedroom. I almost forget it's there because it's barely ever used.

One day I was having the boiler checked and found the guy playing on it!!

He was easily in his late 60s early 70s. Always a fun memory for me

Itsasecretnow · 16/12/2025 11:15

Arlanymor · 14/12/2025 23:02

Oh go on then... and it was me. Years and years and years ago (uni days), my ex-boyfriend temporarily moved into a shared house with two other guys while he was waiting to move into the flat he had bought. One of them had form for making passes at me - blatantly in front of my boyfriend, despite being told off by both of us several times, and the other had been signed off work because of excessive marijuana use - so much so that one night he took everyone's shoes in the house and used them to make a 'nest' under his bed. I was living in London, my boyfriend was in Redhill. I never, ever stayed there overnight.

Until one day when I was there on a Sunday afternoon and my mum called to say my great aunt had died and I needed to come home. Home at the time was in Horsham - only about 20 minutes on the train, but nothing was running due to engineering works. There was no point me going back to London that night to come all the way back down to Sussex the following day. So I stayed the night.

The only bathroom was downstairs and through the lounge and then the kitchen. This is important.

My boyfriend and I went out to the pub to have some food - to get out of the house and blow some cobwebs away. Then we came back around 11pm and went to bed. About 2am I woke up and I desperately needed the loo - I had gone before bedtime but I'd had a bit more (grief) wine than usual and also anxiety makes you want to pee right?

His bedroom was on the top floor and I made it down two flights of stairs and was just outside the lounge. Both guys were in there on the PlayStation - these people never seemed to sleep. I just couldn't stand the thought of talking to Mr Mad Shoe Nest or dealing with Mr 'I'm Only Being Friendly' Sex Pest. I would have had to go through the lounge - kitchen - toilet - kitchen - lounge - to have a wee and back to bed and I just couldn't stand the thought.

Today Me knows I should have woken my ex and got him to come down with me - but Then Me knew he had work the next day, my brain was a bit fried... so I went back up to the room. Luckily he had a big cheese plant and I then elected to have the world's most silent (but violent) wee into the plant pot in his room. I ended up opening his window quietly and tipping out the 'excess fluid' that hadn't soaked into the soil of the pot into the garden below.

We were together for another four years. And when we met later - probably a year after the split, just to say hello, I ended up blurting out what I had done. Luckily he thought it was funny and said: "I wondered why it went brown overnight and then just gave up on life!" Once in a while we still cross paths and he likes to remind me of my toxic wee... which wouldn't have been a thing if he hadn't have chosen to live with toxic roommates!

For various reasons, a couple of times when I was in a big shared house as a student, I didn’t want to (couldn’t, really) come out of my room to use the bathroom so did climb up and wee in the sink in my room. I’d like to add I didn't really use the sink much anyway and it just seemed (at the time) to be the “best” option. Oh god I've just remembered one time walking back from pubs in town with some housemates (same student house as the sink) and had had a few drinks I really, really needed a wee despite going before we left the pub, but it was quite a long walk (I think we were like 2 miles out) and I thought I could hold it. But you know that thing, the nearer you get to the loo the more desperate it suddenly feels? Well we were literally a less than a minute from the house, could see it from there, and the urgency suddenly ramped up and the floodgates literally opened and I could do nothing about it! Thank fuck it was dark, but when we got in the house I had to try and leg it up the stairs to my bedroom without anyone noticing so I could get changed. I came downstairs in a different pair of jeans than I had been wearing and somehow decided it was absolutely necessary to announce my jeans change as I was sure they’d notice, and made up some excuse why I changed. I was mortified! I now think - 30+ years later - that drawing attention to it was absolutely the most stupid thing to do!
In my defence I do seem to have a very small bladder, and when I drink lager (back in the very cheap pint of lager student days) it just seemed to make it even worse.
I do think my housemates thought I was a bit weird anyway! I suppose I should be grateful that it wasn’t poo…

dentalflosser · 03/01/2026 20:31

Workman came round to do an annual service on our boiler which is in our downstairs cloakroom.
Despite the fact that there is a working toilet in there plus toilet roll, he had pissed in the little sink and kindly left a pube also as a kind of bespoke parting gift.
Every time now that a workman comes to the house I make a point of offering a drink and also the use of our loo. I also bleach the sink and toilet after the workman has left the house.

Bruisername · 03/01/2026 20:42

Well we once had a guest message on their way to the airport to tell us we should probably check the bedroom floor as they think they left a condom there and wouldn’t want our kids to find it

Beekman · 03/01/2026 20:48

Got my MIL some shampoo and conditioner for her stay and when she left she asked if she could take it. I replied casually that she could take what she wanted so she went through eveything in there, swiped my sanitary towels, tampons (she is in her 70s and presumably doesn’t need them), a bottle of paracetamol, a new packet of Mach3 razor blades and lots of other stuff we only discovered were gone after she left. She left some Velcro hair rollers and her manky shower cap.

I suppose it’s my fault for saying “take what you want”

FreyasCats · 04/01/2026 03:15

Not weird exactly but certainly overstepping the mark - years ago a friend and her newish boyfriend were staying with me for a long weekend. She's still with him and he is notoriously penny pinching, won't pay for anything unless he has to.

Anyway she asked if I had a dressing gown or robe she could borrow after her bath, I told her just to choose one from the rail in my room, down she came in my best Japanese silk kimono jacket and proceeded to play footsie under the table with the boyfriend for the next five minutes. After they'd mercifully left I found condoms under the bed.

Thankfully where I now live is just too small to have visitors...

Wholetthatgoatin · 04/01/2026 03:40

Not in my house or by someone else, but continuing in the poo trend,,,,I got food poisoning on holiday this year. It was bad. Yes, I farted and felt warmth and wet. I’d shit the bed. It was luckily, by that point, almost water. Cue lots of desperate scrubbing (between more toilet visits) and completely stripping the beds when we left. Horrific. I left a big tip.

bleakmidwintering · 04/01/2026 05:04

Vodka1 · 16/12/2025 09:08

Oohh, I have a pole in my bedroom. I almost forget it's there because it's barely ever used.

One day I was having the boiler checked and found the guy playing on it!!

He was easily in his late 60s early 70s. Always a fun memory for me

Er…what?

Original poster

Serendipetty · 05/01/2026 12:44

FreyasCats · 04/01/2026 03:15

Not weird exactly but certainly overstepping the mark - years ago a friend and her newish boyfriend were staying with me for a long weekend. She's still with him and he is notoriously penny pinching, won't pay for anything unless he has to.

Anyway she asked if I had a dressing gown or robe she could borrow after her bath, I told her just to choose one from the rail in my room, down she came in my best Japanese silk kimono jacket and proceeded to play footsie under the table with the boyfriend for the next five minutes. After they'd mercifully left I found condoms under the bed.

Thankfully where I now live is just too small to have visitors...

There are some merits to having a small dwelling!

My Mum and Dad (now in their 70s) still talk about that they once invited friends (two couples) round for dinner and wine etc, they asked if they could bring another couple they knew which parents said was fine. Cliche occurred, the friends had misinterpreted it as a swingers evening...

OP posts: