Are families really expected to pay for care home fees?

[Whatsituation]

I always thought it was paid for by savings or property owned by the person or if they had neither then paid by the government?

Dh has been telling me how if MIL/FIL ever needs to go into a home his siblings will expect us to contribute along with them for a ‘better’ home?? I’ve said no that’s not happening and it won’t be a better one just the same I assume but they will
habe money coming in from various places for each resident it’s not like there are council care home and private ones I assumed the council fund spaces wherever they are ?

He’s said I’m being unkind but there’s no way I’m spending money on care fees for his parents !

Exactly and who wants a shared bedroom or bathroom and how safe is it.

Care home placements aren't funded by the NHS. If someone needs a nursing home rather than a residential home then the NHS make a contribution which isn't means tested. But care home placements are either self funded or paid for by the LA.

Totally agree and all this is available if you ask Ai.

If you have no money you will be placed where your told to go.

Probably out of area and shared facilities, not a nice room either with nice furnishings.

Money always buys the best and care homes are no exception.

Don’t you mean per week?

If your IL’s have any savings over £23250 each they will pay in full for their care. Once their savings (per person requiring care) drops below £23250 they’ll pay a proportion.
The local authority (LA) would do a care needs and a financial assessment prior to agreeing to provide any care costs, if they agree a care home is needed they have to offer a home that they will pay for in full - most LA’s will only pay approx. £750-£850 per week (I’m basing that on Sussex) against costs of £1200-£1800 (depending by in type of care) - that could mean a top up of £400+ per week. (The top up cannot be paid by the person needing care as their funds are already included in the calculations).
Family agreeing to a top up is a big commitment and can never be mandatory.
The LA are likely to signpost to an independent advisor to help with decision making on care fees - it might be a good idea to take a look so you can be aware of the options.

In the area where I live, that's completely untrue. I work for adult social care actually carrying out the financial assessments, so I do know what I'm talking about. In this area, all homes contract with the council and contain a mixture of private funders and council funded residents. This is a relatively poor area, so there might not be enough private funders to fill a care home. There is, I think, only one home that would charge a top up fee. Everywhere else is willing to accept the council rate.

The financial assessment takes into account people's income and savings and they are charged full coat if they have more than £23250 in savings. That could be in either a private or council run home. The value of someone's house if they own it alone is also taken into account. Between £23250 and £14250, some of their savings are still taken into account. They will then only be charged that amount.

If they choose to go into a home that needs a top up, then the family will need to agree to pay that. Otherwise, they would need to go into a home that would accept the council rate. I would suggest the OP does some research on homes to see how many in their area require a top up and if so, how much, so they have a better idea of what's involved.

People in the UK don’t want to pay taxes.
Mothers need free nurseries to be able to work, children need breakfast and lunches at school, people want the pensions increased plus winter fuel and free elderly care homes. The taxes you are paying during your working life pays for the pensions of the older generation now.
Your pension is going to be paid by your working children or the following working generations. There is only so much money in the kitty. NHS’s promise cradle/grave can only be realized if the population pays more taxes like other countries, for example like Sweden. The other choice is USA low style taxes, with everyone for themselves.
France, a percentage of the adult children’s income is taken at source by the government to pay for the parent’s care home but French law does not allow for children to be disinherited.

MikeRafone made a typo and corrected themselves very quickly. Just saying, as there are so many posts saying ‘it’s not £1500 a month’!

My FIL paid for his place in a private care home. His money has now dipped below the threshold. It is very unlikely he will be moved to a different home now.
From what I've seen, all the rooms are the same - single with en suite. You don't know which residents are private or LA funded. He paid £9000 a month.

When my MIL was going to move to a home, we looked at a few and they did have different rooms at different costs and I presume the LA-funded ones were the shared ones with just a toilet, not bathroom.

I think there’s a ‘hearts and minds’ situation here. Lots of posters think with their hearts - they love their parents so think they’d make any sacrifice. Logically though, this is a bottomless pit. Unlike a child in nursery or private school, there is no clear end point. Sure, on average only X % of the population need a care home and on average those who do spend Y number of years or months there. But thats no good if your parent is up the other end of the bell curve. Or your circumstances change. Or your siblings circumstances change. Or the fees go up. Or you have 4 parents in need of care or perhaps a couple of step-parents too or a maiden aunt. And meantime, whilst you shovel money down the pit, you aren’t saving for your own future care. It’s a hard no from me for these reasons.

I should also add for the benefit of anyone judging me, that I have already provided 10 years of care to parents at home, to the detriment of my health and wellbeing. I’ve already sacrificed, as has my young family so if a home became necessary, this would be my line in the sand.

The wink emoji must have passed you by

Just came on to counteract some of the doom-mongering. My mum lived in a care home allocated by Social Services because she was unable to fund herself and it was good.

She had her own en-suite room, albeit with slightly battered furniture, in the town where she had previously lived, albeit in the not-so-smart part of town.

It didn’t have silver-haired ladies in pearls laughing on taupe sofas like in the brochures for the posh ones. It had lovely staff, lots of entertainment, visiting hairdresser, chiropodist and optician, excellent links with local GP practice and a good CQC rating.

I appreciate we were fortunate but let’s inject a little more balance into this discussion.

Before considering a care home you could look for council funded carers coming into their home. My mum had this for several years - started off with 2 and then 4. She didn't have to pay anything as she didn't have a lot of savings. Eventually she moved to a care home which is a not for profit place. The council takes her pension and funds part of it. The family tops up £98 a week, there are four of us so not too bad. It's worth it just for peace of mind that she's well cared for and has released us from the responsibility of constantly making sure she's safe.

All care homes are private now, so state care home provision will be the council paying a private home to take care of your elderly relatives, can be galling to realise that because someone owned a modest house that they have to sell to pay for the same as someone who pays nothing towards their own care

I completely understand OP, I wouldn’t want my hard earned savings to go to a care home owner (they are rich, Ive known 2, they have serious money!).

In fact, I wouldn’t want or expect my own children to spend their money like that. If I’m ever in that position I’ll have to cope!

Of course you shouldn’t be paying. That would be to the detriment of you and your family. They are selfish. Did they financially support their parents?

All is not true. 3% are run by councils. And the reason most councils shut theirs was because it was actually cheaper to pay private companies to build and run them. According to a quick Google, nearly 40% are LA residents only but nearly 60% house both private and LA funded. Very, very few are private only.

There are many good reasons why one person is lucky enough to have assets to fund their own care and others not.

There seems to be a great deal of misinformation on this thread about care homes, standards, room sharing, facilities, etc. If you're in the situation of needing a care home, or have an LA blackmailing you for top up funds, please do your own research.

We had this years ago with my mil. My in-laws never saved a penny and lived in a council , were not great parents and even worse grandparents. One bossy SIL raised the suggestion we all chip in for care home fees. My kids were young at the time and we could not have afforded to help. Thankfully when the time came she got a funded place, in a room next door to a lovely lady who had to stump up for hers thanks to being a saver and careful all her life

This
You, your DH and his siblings need to start informing themselves if this is what you see coming down the track so you know what commitment you're looking at before you start stamping your foot. While you might not be legally obliged to pay any top up, it would cause a massive rift in the family if you don't allow your DH to contribute while all his siblings do.

@Moel No one should judge you and it’s all bollocks anyway. It’s like people who say if they win the lottery they would give it all away. It’s virtue signalling nonsense. Yes there are some that top up small amounts of money but as you point out it’s a bottomless pit and the parents concerned had their whole life to plan as opposed to using their kids as a crutch. I would never expect my children to bail me out in such a way. I would view it that I had failed really. That’s not their job.

Oh please no shared rooms, bathrooms, etc is just a big no
Its not hygienic for a start and no privacy.
Im saving now for my.nursing home.

Some older care homes do have shared bathrooms. They often still have an en suite loo and washbasin, but the accessible shower and bath is in a shared space.

They are cleaned between each use. There are no shared toiletries. There's complete privacy - apart from the care worker who is there to support you. There's no one else in the room with you. It's really not that bad.

Yy - shared bathrooms are still individual bathrooms, just off the corridor, only one person goes in at a time (with carer if needed), it’s not school changing rooms!

Yes. I lived that dream. 🙄