Thread 19 - TalkLair: "The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long"

[Kucinghitam]

(Previous thread 18)

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat...

In the TalkLair, the fairy lights are festooned on the mantlepiece, the tree is twinkling with baubles, the mince pies are in the oven, the MN legendary chicken is ready to feed the hordes. The denizens of the lair are a welcoming bunch, always eager for general chit-chat on all manner of topics. We just won’t mention the gnawed bones of our prey over there in the corner of the cave…

Sorry I made it into an accidental tortoise appreciation thread. So glad you like her @weaselyeyes @Kucinghitam @moto748e ! I’ll shut up now so we can get back to normal stuff 😂

We just had DH in an absolute ADHD panic (he starts shutting down and mumbling) because he hadn’t gotten his parents anything for Christmas. I sorted it in 5 minutes, even though I’m having a fever-ish day. We balance each other well! (He and his brother are close and he already got presents for his brother since they share tastes but he was just flummoxed at what to get his parents).

I'm more than happy with tortoise appreciation as a recurrent theme

Trying to get hold of a roofer at this time of year is harder than flying around the world in 24 hours with a sleighload of presents.

But I've heard back from one guy. Or at least, he replied to my message saying he could do Monday, asked for the exact address, then radio silence for hours.

@Kucinghitam Er, had you considered asking Santa to do it since he’s going to be on the roof anyway? Maybe he could give you mates’ rates as a Christmas present. 😂

One for @SqueakyDinosaur One Night in Bangkok as a 16th century chanson.

@ProfessorBinturong - That is just glorious!

What a sweet tortoise, how tiny she is!

Sorry to hear of the roof woes, @Kucinghitam you really don't need that crap at this time of year, but it sounds like a new roof is in order.

The funeral went off well yesterday and was well attended. Some of my dad's fellow doctors turned up and it was nice to see them after many years. Even his carers came along which was lovely of them. While they carried out their duties he used to sing to them or quote poetry and they adored him.

The only alarming point was when the six pallbearers, all men from my family, lifted the coffin and turned it around to carry out of the church. Only one of them, my sister's husband, does anything physical for a job and it was painfully obvious that the rest don't. My dad weighed about 15 stone and the men, apart from sister's husband, were struggling to lift the coffin; they fumbled, the coffin tilted, my twin brother managed to open of the lid closures by getting hold of the wrong bit and I feared they'd drop it. Sister's FiL and one of the funeral blokes had to step in and in the end eight pallbearers carried him. Thankfully there was a trolley waiting so they wheeled him the rest of the way and the men from the funeral company did the rest. After that we all went to the pub over the road for the wake.

The weather was atrocious but we all had umbrellas.

The whole 'amateurs' as pallbearers thing really confuses me, it's a wonder there aren't more disasters really. My husband is much taller than the rest of my family, so he was nearly going along on his knees helping with my Grandma's coffin. When my PiLs ashes were interred, the hole the funeral director had dug didn't actually fit the box - luckily we'd said they should put the container in the grave.

The whole 'amateurs' as pallbearers thing really confuses me

Me too. It looks dramatic for the men of the family to carry the coffin but I'm not sure that the funeral companies let them know just how heavy and cumbersome a coffin can be, especially when it's holding a body weighing 15 stone.

My uncle had a similar experience to your husband at his father's funeral and walked along in a very odd position, not because he was tall but because the funeral officials hadn't told him how to do it correctly. This sort of thing must happen all the time.

On a better note, the funeral company had a little wooden box containing soil and family were invited to scoop some out to throw onto the coffin. Given it was pouring with rain I'd wondered what the plan was. Glad we didn't have to throw in handfuls of mud. What I would have loved to do would have been to throw in a cooked sausage as my dad absolutely loved sausages and he would have appreciated the gesture. I expect that would have been seen as inappropriate so I did it only in my imagination.

When my dad died, we buried him in a dressing gown I'd made for him (he hated formal clothes). And in the coffin with him we put a bottle of St Peter's Ale, a copy of the Sunday Times, and his favourite book, The Worst Journey in the World, about polar explorers. The funeral director said that it was making him think what would he want for his own funeral, which we took as a huge compliment.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5462383-feel-a-bit-weird-about-what-my-cleaner-did

The OP is NBU.

She ain't. Nowt so queer as folk, as we used to say.

Someone has just given us a Christmas present of some Lindt hazelnut chocolates (I dislike hazelnuts - well, almost all nuts really, apart from cashews and macadamia nuts) and an extremely nice fridge magnet with cats on it. Sadly, all our kitchen appliances are behind quite solid wooden doors!

No takers for the stout this year? Just been in Lidl, and parsnips (and spuds) were 5p a packet, so another batch will be on its way tomorrow!

Actually, yes please and thank you! I'd love to try parsnip stout!

Just DM me your address, Bear.

BetjemansBear · Yesterday 14:12

Im sorry, but I couldn't help visualising that in the style of a Dave Allen sketch...

Thank you, moto, I'll do that.

Everything that happened with the coffin fumbling was a bit of a Dave Allen sketch!

@Gonners I adore all nuts and especially nuts in chocolate!

Shame about the fridge magnet. I can tell you what not to do - don't stick your fridge magnet to the radiator, because the heat will melt whatever resin is used in making the magnetic sheets, and your magnet will end up welded to the radiator.

Ha! That suggests that the metal part above the oven door wouldn't be a great place either ... not that I was planning to put it there. I'll probably give it to the cat shelter charity shop in the next town.

.

We've got a magnet on the radiator in the kitchen which Mr Veg found stuck to a shopping trolley in the local supermarket and brought home with him. It's very strong and was no doubt part of a shop display. It's got a useful hook stuck to it and we use it to hang a tea towel on.

In puzzling news, I received the following text this afternoon from an unknown number: Gonners, coming home Sat morning so can speak tomorrow ok. Got physio later and district nurses Sunday the care ...

At that point it stops! I haven't a clue who it's from, but assume I must know them and they have both me and someone of the same first name in their phone. But whoever it is, I don't have their number in my phone.

I messaged back: Hi ... who is this please and have you maybe messaged the wrong Gonners? This is Gonners Bloggs from Shittown. No reply.

Why is this mildly unsettling?

It's a bit rude, but people are embarrassed.

That is so weird!