Small but massively irritating things people do in public

[PuppiesProzacProsecco]

Thread Sub- Heading: things people do that make you want to punch them

I'll qualify this by saying I'm autistic and have misophonia so am probably more easily wound up than the average person!

Right now I'm sat in a hospital outpatient department waiting for my orthopaedic appointment and the others in the waiting area are driving me nuts!

One seat over- Youngish (late 20s) female who has huge, pointy, fake nails on and is using the ends to tap her phone screen - ARGHHHH! She's also sniffing A LOT.

One seat further from her - middle aged lady (wearing gorgeous knee high boots) who has the touch tones switched on on her phone - that awful bubbling noise at high volume - ARGGHHHH!

Other side of the room - 30s ish lady who is getting almost constant messaging alerts (again, volume is UP) on her phone - ARRRRRRRGHHHHH! She's also foot tapping like crazy.

Reading this back, the main issue seems to be bloody phones though!

Tell me your stories of things you didn't murder people in public for (but could've claimed justifiable homicide if you had). Make me feel like less of an evil cow 🙈

Very specifically, my postie. We live rurally and at least once a week she will ask me do I ever see such and such a neighbour and could I give them their post? Then huffs when I say no. It is YOUR job to drive around the countryside delivering post, not mine! I am thankful I live in the middle of nowhere and don't commute as all these stories are making me itch!

@notmoredirtywashing yes that one gives me the rage. Happens a lot where I live despite the roads being plenty wide enough to park on. I did have to laugh one Saturday morning out for a walk and somebody who had clearly had a few too many the night before had vomited down the side of a car parked on pavement.

It's so entitled to think your precious car is more important than the safety of pedestrians.

People who stop for a little chatter at zebra crossing totally oblivious to the fact that every car slows as drivers try to catch their eye and work out if they want to cross or just stand there talking.

People who wander around a tight and confusing little maze of their own imagination on the pavement whist talking into their phone.

Drivers who turn to face their passenger, both hands off the steering wheel gesticulating all the while driving at half the usual speed for the road.

Litter droppers.

People who don't put the trolley back so that it blocks the way/rolls into your car.

The person who, in a busy train station car park, doesn't understand the parking machine and just stands there staring at it and randomly banging buttons for 20 minutes whilst your train sails off.

People who loiter on the sea pool steps flapping their arms and squealing about the water being cold when in fact the water is the warmest it's been in 10 years. After several minutes of that they want back up the steps having only dipped one foot in as far as their ankle. Meanwhile 48 people are queuing behind them in their bathers.

People. That's it.

Absolutely and I’m a driver! I have my own drive though I’m not bothering anyone else. There is currently a massive camper van parked on the pavement on a narrow part of the street - I just hope they never need an emergency vehicle …….

People who stop in the middle of a supermarket aisle and are blissfully unaware of anyone else around them.

People getting too close to you when you are browsing a shop.

People in car park spaces in their car with lights on, so I assume they are about to reverse out and wait to leave my space. Nothing happens, no reversing lights come on, so after allowing the usual time for doing up seatbelt I start to drive/reverse out of my space. Then the car suddenly reverses apparently unaware of my presence - why don't drivers look, use mirrors and their reversing cameras.

People who show off about where they have been. Eg going to the theatre and turning up the next day in hoodies, bags, socks, shoes, water bottle etc from the show. Or loudly talking about their holiday they went on every time we see them even though their holiday was over a year before.

People who do the "wrong" thing and get away with it. Extra annoying when they loudly tell everyone who stands still long enough that they do what they want and nobody can tell them what to do.

People who make a rude or snippy remark about your being in their way (in a shop etc) but they have not said excuse me or indicated politely that they would like to pass. How are you supposed to know when they want to get past when they are behind you?

This happened to me once in Waterstones book shop where people can be expected to stand in front of shelves and browse. Its a bookshop FGS! I was standing beside an island shelf. Anyone who wished to pass could easily have gone around the other way. SuddenlyI heard this sarcastic tone from behind me "Im waiting for this lady to move so we can get past."
Reply "This lady sonny is waiting to hear a polite request like please or escuse me before she moves. Didnt your parents teach you any social skills?" Deliverd in best teacher tone as speaking to naughty pupil. The girl with him told him "Shes right. That was rude". I said to the girl "I hope your not married to him. If he will treat a complete stranger like this imagine how he will treat you in a few years time." Her eye rolll was my reward.

I address all rude males as sonny - usually in teacher voice. But I can be a bitch.

Great post. So many things to choose but my absolute top peeve is people dropping litter!
I cannot stand such fecklessness.
i include those selfish gits who leave their dog bags hanging in trees or lobbed into bushes where nobody can get them out.
TBH I could rant about litterers all day long.

Work at a checkout and the people who sigh when someone runs to get something or is struggling with money

I was sitting at the gate in the airport in a long row of seats and became aware that my seat was shaking. The only other person in the row was scrolling on his phone with a sort of flourish, flicking his whole hand up enough to rock the row of seats back and forth. Jesus.
That’s what came to mind when I read this post.
OP everything you mentioned makes me crazy, I practically live in headphones now.
Special mention to the IG reels that my mum is forever watching at top volume/clicking accidentally where neither of us can work out how to turn the sound off.

Mine are people and mainly transport related.

Cycling club members who cycle 3 or 4 abreast so the 50 or so cars behind them can't get past.

Cyclists who cycle on the road when the adjacent footpath is a designated cycle track.

People who barge in through shop doorways when you're trying to exit through the same door. They usually don't say thank you for holding the door so I say it them in a sarcastic manner.

Drivers on motorways who don't read the fucking road. Exits are signposted from at least a mile before, but hey ho they just cut across 4 lanes of traffic at the last minute because they have been on their phone/chatting to their passengers.(don't get me started about the M4/M5 interchange and some muppets).

School kids at my local secondary school who don't look when they cross the end of my road.

Parents who park on the zig zags/double yellow lines/private driveways and the worst offenders who actually block the entrance to our cul de sac when waiting for their precious darlings to come out of school.

People who stand in a group to chat in the supermarket, blocking the aisle and access to the shelves.

People in groups on a plane who shout over you, as if you’re not there.

Oh yes!!!!

People with rucksacks on who turn around and bash you in the face. People with rucksacks who don’t take them off on public transport so a) take up more space than they need and b) whack everyone in the head when they move along the tube/bus/train. People with rucksacks who try and squeeze past you forgetting they have the equivalent of another person on their back.

People walking slowly 3 or 4 abreast (or in large groups). Then having the nerve to look annoyed when you politely say excuse me and walk past?!

Me and DH always joke were going to get our revenge when DD learns to walk and take our sweet time walking abreast as a family as slowly as possible everywhere we go.

Also people who stop for a long talk in the middle of supermarket aisles, and also look annoyed when you say excuse me?

What a snide comment.

Fellow misophonia sufferer, so yes all noises already mentioned. Chewing. Crunching. SNIFFING OMG. Phones that are quiet but not silent, so you can still hear the tsk tsk tsk of whatever is being watched.

People who are unprepared for something they knew they need to do. See:

• people at supermarket check outs who seem to be totally surprised they also need to pay and start digging around for coins in the bottom of their huge handbag, when this is pointed out.
• people at airport security who start unpacking their hand luggage to find restricted items, unbuckling all 20 metal buckles on their thigh high goth boots, only start looking for their boarding pass when they reach the gate agent, after they have been standing in boarding queue for half an hour and slowly and carefully contemplating what they want from their hand luggage while standing next to row 2 and blocking the entire planeload of passengers.
• my children, who seem to be surprised every morning that school happens.

Also counts as in public, and here I agree I'm being irrational, but people who title their posts 'Has anybody been/done...' when they then ask something totally mundane and common. I know it's just an expression but I do want to comment every time that no, nobody has been to Aldi, ever.

People with no awareness of their surroundings. The ones who suddenly stop dead in a shop doorway, escalator, leaving a lift, or on a busy walkway, causing those behind them to stop suddenly. Those walking on footpaths etc randomly, i.e. not staying left, so if you're walking faster, you don't know which side to try to over-take.

People who wait until they've scanned all their shopping, been served etc., before they suddenly realise they need to pay and then spend an inordinate amount of time searching for their phone/wallet etc, when they had plenty of time waiting in the queue etc to sort it out and be ready.

People walking 2/3/4 abreast on narrow footpaths or corridors, usually slowly, completely oblivious to people walking faster wanting to get past them or people walking the other way towards them and then seem surprised that the other person can't get past - presumably they expect them to teleport over them! Groups of ramblers are the worst on canal footpaths or narrow public footpaths in the countryside - usually incredibly arrogant and unaware who seem to think they own the entire wide of the footpath and anyone coming the other way should leap into the shrubbery to get out of their way! I stand my ground these days and force them to go into narrower formation to pass - they often curse or stare as if I'm the one in the wrong!!

People that park their trolley diagonally across the aisle in the supermarket while browsing the shelves. No, don't worry, no-one else wants to use this aisle - you take all the time you want, we'll all wait.

Well, actually, no I don't normally wait, I just budge my way through saying "Excuse me!"

Was on the underground earlier this week and everyone was sniffing. Not a tissue to be seen. Grim.

Also, people watching shite on their phones with no headphone. I can see your an idiot... I don't need audio confirmation too.

Nearly forgot:

people who can’t be bothered to return their shopping trolley and just shove it away from their car. The said empty trolley then rolls away into the path of other cars.

people who don’t poop scoop (dog owner here)

people who want everyone else to follow rules such as one way routes, but they then reverse down the road to nab a parking space.

i'd like to see snipers to take out these people who faff about at the front of queues!!

Oh God. All of these and more. I feel a close affinity with the Michael Douglas character in Falling Down. And before any humourless twat accuses me of being insensitive, no, I wouldn’t really run amok with a machine gun, I just fantasise harmlessly about doing so.