Snoring on hospital ward. Losing.my.mind.

[Travellingatthespeedoflight]

A moan. I had a baby today (!) and thanks to a some beast snoring at a ridiculous volume in our bay in the postnatal ward, no sleep is happening. I also happen to be in the bay next to the sink, where the light is brighter than the sun.

Send help! I am here until Friday at least.

No one has said snorers haven't made an effort either

Does no-one ever give birth to their first baby?

Exactly! Surely this is the ultimate men invading women’s spaces.

And then he has got the audacity to keep postpartum women awake while he snores away. Im glad the lady opposite got him told and hope OP gets some sleep.

You said 'snoring isn't a personality flaw, neither is it something that can be helped' and while I agree it of course isn't personality flaw it is indeed something that can be helped but many snorers don't even try.

Things have changed so much, and snoring not withstanding, for the better.
i had DS1 in 1971, in a ‘nursing home’ not a proper hospital, in Leicester. We wanted DH to be present for the birth, and I had to write to the matron in advance explaining this and requesting permission. This was reluctantly granted, DH stayed with me, ignoring all the annoyed muttering from the delivery nurses.
DS2 was born 15 months later - at home. Much happier and pleasant experience, and we have photos of his birth. Matron would have had a fit!

Yes we are as always too polite. Women need to start complaining loudly and persistently and get these men coming in at visiting times only.

I HATED my time in hospital on the ward, absolutely detested it! It was during lockdown, so no visitors apart from 1 hr at lunchtime, but good god I could not sleep a wink, either the babies crying or the mums crying, all of us in the room had a breakdown at one point or another over something, it was beyond hot in there (in February!) and they wouldn't let me crack a window, and I just couldn't take it anymore.

My DD had been an emergency CC and she had a relatively low birth weight so they wanted to keep me in for 5 days, after 2 nights and 3 days of zero sleep I DEMANDED to go home, and they did let me, they just made me watch the 'don't shake the baby' video then off we went.

I couldn't take a single more second in that place, my sympathies OP!

I nearly defenestrated the snorer on my post-natal ward ...

“to state no one can help snoring is just not true.”

Ohmagosh, you’re so right! Knowing exhaustion is one of my biggest triggers as a high risk pregnant woman as I was at the time with a 4 year old I should’ve just tried harder to be less exhausted. This would’ve solved everything. Why didn’t I think of that?! 🥹✨

And before you say you weren’t talking about me specifically and that clearly in some instances it can’t be helped etc, this is the problem with making big sweeping statements about other people and their efforts or motivations or giving unsolicited advice. It can make one come across as patronising and yes, puts some of us on the defensive, especially when we are already aware of the problem and fearful of being a nuisance.

'It can make one come across as patronising and yes, puts some of us on the defensive, especially when we are already aware of the problem and fearful of being a nuisance.'

I live with a snorer. Well 2 as one dc is prone to it too. Having constantly disturbed nights opens up discussions with family and friends who also endure sleeping with a snorer and 90% of the time aids and methods such as side sleeping and chin strips do reduce the decibels.

We all have to be considerate when at home or in hospital and the very least that the selfish man in the op should do is not sleep in a room with exhausted new mums.

All of what you have said is pretty irrelevant as OP is complaining about a snorer who doesn't need to be there at all!!

Regardless of whether he can help it or not, or if he is doing anything about it or not, he shouldn't even be inflicting his snoring on his partner, let a lone a ward of sleep deprived women all trying to get some sleep after having a baby.

It's beyond selfish and he needs to fuck off home!

Exactly - this wasnt one of the exhuasted new mothers snoring; it was a partner. He will know he snores and he still thought it was appropriate to subject a room full of new mothers to the noise

I can relate, although I was only one night in the ward after my C section. The new born next to me was crying all the nigh. Her mother was calling the nurses for help, I thought she was struggling until one of the nurses gave her a bollocking because she wasn't attending her boy. After that, I did not know what to think anymore. I know what kept me sane. My DD was sleeping like a log near me and I just thought don't worry dear this soon will be over. At it was over in a blink.
Congratulations on your baby, you will be soon at home.

I’m so glad men did not stay on the post natal ward when I was there. Jeez it’s bad enough without that. So annoying. I hate to say it but it’s sort of inevitable you will get a dreadful nights sleep on a post natal ward in my opinion. It’s just so tiring . You will appreciate getting home so much

Irrelevant to the OP but clearly not irrelevant to the PP who I was referring to and quoted.

I hate to say this (the midwives on the labour ward where amazing) but the ones on the ward where evil

I asked one if I could please have some painkillers as I had really bad afterpains and she reacted like id thrown acid in her face ('the NHS is SKINT dont you know?' but refused to allow me to take my own paracetamol)

Another snapped at me for daring to make a cup of tea (I paid for it)

Another snarled at me for daring to go for a wee/a shower (note to any new mum,do not pack original souce mint shower gel-that was my mistake,pregnant me is a twat)

I had another midwife who was very rude to my father when he walked in to see me and to drop off some flowers from my friend

(he was in full motorbike leathers and she treated him like a baby snatcher for daring to walk in and ask where i was-thats all he did and didnt say a word to the pervert opposite)

I cried when she snapped open the curtains for the 20th time and shouted at me

She lost it when I said I was discharging myself as I couldn't take it anymore and would be better off at home ('if your baby dies,it will be your fault!')

The labour ward is a fresh hell and it's right when your at your most vulnerable

I feel you.
I got told off for taking my baby to the bathroom with me and also for leaving my baby in the bay when I went to the bathroom. By two different people I must add! Should I have just pissed the bed?!
I also had a visibly angry midwife "help" me breastfeed for all of five minutes by physically grabbing my boob in a vice grip and attempting to shove my nipple in DD mouth. I had finger shaped bruises (which I actually took photos of they were that bad).
Aside from that I had no real care at all.

many snorers don't even try

That's your assumption. You can't possibly know what people have or haven't done about it.

True I'm not psychic nor have I carried out a national audit but as I've already explained to you anecdotally I have heard many snorers don't use aids or methods. The man in the op being a prime example, snoring away on a woman's ward, not caring that he was disturbing others.

Family and friends who live with snorers face constant battles to get the snorer to lose weight, to use aids, to do whatever helps. Many do not.

You may be the exception and are a healthy bmi don't drink or smoke, sleep on your side and always use a mouthguard or chinstrap.

Having spent time in hospital on a ward with a load of other women this year, I can assure everyone that banning male partners from a maternity ward isn't going to make it any quieter at night. Plenty of women snore like bastards too, you know, and if snoring is the only noise you're contending with, that's pretty good going for the average night on a ward (particularly one containing newborn babies).

Yes but as been discussed when it is a fellow patient of course there's nothing you can do, when it's a visitor they should not be there out of consideration for the actual patients.

Jesus,I had this but with dd1

I was 19,scared out of my brain at this tiny baby,clueless and vulnerable

Some woman walked up to me,ripped dd off my breast and tried to shove my nipple back into her mouth and shouted at me for giving her 'a rude look' (more like 'what the fuck do you think your doing?')

The next time I asked for some help,I was told 'just give up and bottle feed,your type always do' before she walked off

I'm guessing by 'your type' she meant 'teenage mum'

Same woman woke me up for no reason,twice,both in the early hours by poking me hard in the side of my swollen breasts

I should have reported her but didnt know you could (id never stayed in hospital before this)-i just wanted to go home

Next midwives (and my whole family) ripped me a new one for giving up on breastfeeding her and giving her a bottle

The midwife was told to shut up,I tried and had no support in hospital and that I had asked (she called me a liar and said there where breastfeeding advisors around-i never saw one)

(I may have lost my temper at my father for banging on about breastfeeding and telling him to 'get your tit's out then and give it a go!' It did shut him up)

Do you imagine he should have brought all his paraphernalia for this occasion? If he had a bed then I might agree with you, but sleeping in a chair in the small hours of the morning when he might have been trying to snatch an hour or two I think you're being unreasonable. It's possible, just possible, the birth of his child might have been his first priority when deciding what to bring.

Do you think people who snore shouldn't sleep, in deference to those that (think they) don't? As a punishment?

I think visitors who snore should not sleep in a room with other patients who desperately need their sleep. Basic consideration for others.

I also think those who snore should lose weight and use all the methods available, as I've said. To remind you I only keep repeating this because you said there is nothing to be done to stop snoring. There is.

I don’t think it’s anything to do with snoring. There just shouldn’t be visitors there out with visiting times , particularly men and particularly overnight. Why on earth aren’t there enough midwives and nursing staff!