Snoring on hospital ward. Losing.my.mind.

[Travellingatthespeedoflight]

A moan. I had a baby today (!) and thanks to a some beast snoring at a ridiculous volume in our bay in the postnatal ward, no sleep is happening. I also happen to be in the bay next to the sink, where the light is brighter than the sun.

Send help! I am here until Friday at least.

WTF? That's horrible.

Get him outta there!!

You had a baby!
(I kind of thought that’s what you’d have)
Congratulations ❤️

It ruined my first night with my new born having men there ..they were in in the bathroom when I was trying to shower .
I don't understand why it's allowed
Or at least have bays for women who don't want to share a bedroom with a man when they have just given birth

Congrats on your baby! This is my first night on the postnatal ward too. No one allowed to stay overnight but the woman opposite me, who is lightly snoring, plays video shorts out loud every time she wakes up 😭

Hope you can get hold of an eye mask & some earplugs!

Well it got better. Same man made the mistake of using the women only toilet in the bay, and the lady opposite lost her mind. He’s already been told by the midwife not to use it. He’s now silent and hasn’t snored since.

OMG! I'm so grateful to have given birth to three back in the old days. Back then, when women were sequestered outside visiting hours, by law allowed up to 14 days in hospital to develop confidence and skills and breastfeeding, the cook in the little rural hospital prepared, from scratch, three beautifully-balanced meals a day. Midwives sat patiently with young mothers helping them to get everything right before they were sent home. Men, and families, were allowed to visit their wives/family members (no "partners" back then) for 60 minutes in the afternoon and the evening, children were rigidly controlled to avoid disturbing exhausted mothers. Sister S, who ruled the place like a tyrantess, would have had a fit about random men wandering the corridors. Tough regime, yes, but it worked.

I’ve seen them asleep in the bed making the new mother sit / sleep in the chair, I lost my shit at them. Surprised they didn’t complain.

Why are all these men on the postnatal ward??? Why haven’t they gone home?

Bloody hell, I am so glad that men were not allowed to stay on the postnatal wards when I had my three babies back in the day! I never had my DH stay there with me, and yes, I did have complicated births/C-section.

Someone else's snoring husband/partner just inches away on the other side of a flimsy curtain would have had me feeling nearly murderous with rage.

I think men on the postnatal wards overnight when their partners are not in active labour (in which case they would be on the delivery unit) are a massive invasion of privacy.

Postnatal wards should be a safe place for women, who are at their most vulnerable having just given birth. There should be no men staying overnight beyond just settling a partner immediately following the birth, and that should only take 5-10 minutes at most. They should be sent home.

I completely agree ,I found it really upsetting every time

Completely agree.

Why are men on the ward?
Is this because the midwives are too stretched to pass you your baby if she needs feeding?
If so, that is an absolutely ridiculous state of affairs.

Both of you will be exhausted by the time you get out of there. I would rather my dh at home, getting a good night's sleep to better support me when I got home.

When I had my dd, the next bed's phone rang at 2am in the morning. She slept through it, I got up to answer it. Unfortunately it rang off before I made it there to give them a piece of my mind. She also fed her baby twice and rather than leaving the bottles on the table, she dropped them (glass) in to the bin making a right racket.
I was feeling murderous by the time daylight arrived 😂

I am a lawyer. There was a mother with a screaming baby when I had my first child 27 years ago - it screamed from dawn to dusk and the mother wanted her door keep open so the rest of us c-section mothers could hear it. In those days c-section mothers stayed in hospital for a week. Even the nurses who resembled a KGB hit squad at the merest mention of bottle feeding were apparently entreating her to give the child a bottle because her milk hadn't come in. They were pretty much ignoring the rest of us. At least there were set visiting hours so we didn't have roaming men at all hours.

I actually spent time trying to remember the criminal provision for infanticide in the first 12 months after birth and whether it had to be your own child you killed to use the defence. I was probably hallucinating with pain-killing drugs and lack of sleep.

Very thankfully, I removed to a wonderful private hospital who ran a convalescent service for new mothers which was blessedly quiet with on-call midwives, physiotherapists and an excellent dinner menu with a choice of wine and where they put on a delightful afternoon tea for your visitors but I did spare a thought for those poor women who had to continue to put up with her. Anyway I was back at work full-time work six weeks later so I felt the need for the extra pampering. I can't even imagine the level of pampering I'd need to recover from the current state of affairs for maternity patients.

I can't believe men are allowed to stay in a shared bay?! When I had my 3rd child I had a hideous birth that went on for days and then ended in a forceps birth in theatre, i hadn't had a wink of sleep for 3 nights by the time i gave birth. The first night I still had numb legs so I couldnt get out of bed to get my baby, i was needing to buzz for everything, i also had a v hungry/unsettled baby. I have never been so exhausted. Night 2 and 3 I was in agony and getting up and down took ages, the absolute relief I felt when my husband arrived to visit in the day (for all 1 hour as it was covid) was unbelievable. Despite desperately needing someone to help me I still wouldn't have wanted to share overnight with random men even if it meant my husband could stay too. It was like being at a spa retreat when I got home amd my husband was on hand to help day and night!

I'd keep buzzing and complaining, they may either ask him to leave or move you/them somewhere else. You shouldn't have to put up with a loud visitor, they should have rules in place if he's disturbing other people he should leave.

I am glad no men were allowed to stay when I was there, sounds hideous when you’ve just given birth. I’m sure all could cope for a day or two on their own.

Why are men on the maternity ward overnight? I gave birth a couple of years ago and men had to leave at 8pm. I couldn’t sleep either because the other mums on the ward and also the nurses were loud.

I do think it is fair enough for women to need their dh straight after the birth because the midwives don't help you with the baby. BUT if he's sleeping he's not helping! He should go sleep in his car (or home if near enough) and come back later!

I'd tell him if I were you. You'll hear cheers from behind the curtains of the other beds.

Also I'd have lost my mind too about the female toilet.

I was in the hospital overnight a couple of months ago. There was a man sitting with his wife loud whispering and a poor elderly lady who moaned all night and messed the bed, the smell was awful and the bins were right by my bed so everytime they opened the bin the smell was nasty. The man was told about 3 times to leave and eventually he left about One am. I couldn't get out of there quick enough. Congrats on your baby and you will be home soon and it will all seem like a bad dream.💐

Really feel for you op. Hope you get some rest.

For everyone getting angry about men staying in postnatal wards overnight, it’s needed these days because there aren’t enough staff to care properly for women who have had difficult births.

For my first birth i had an EMCS in the evening after 2 days of contractions. My DH wasn’t allowed to come up to the ward with me at all and the experience of such awful care has left me with ongoing PTSD.

My hospital has recently opened a family bay specifically for women who wish to have their partners there overnight, for this very reason.

Women snore too.

Why on earth is there a man on the ward?! Is that allowed now? For both my children visitors had to leave at 8pm and thank god for that!

OP, I has an 'amenity room' with first DC, they charge you for it but it is a private side room. Have you asked if they have one?

And what about women who give birth or have a c section overnight? Birth is a 24 hour thing.

Congratulations may your baby sleep better than mines who’s not let me sleep in 3 months. I have been lucky that both births I’ve had to stay in a few days I’ve had a side room. I get partners need to be there but not if they are just snoring when you need a rest.

Why are men allowed to stay overnight in chairs in a ward? What happened to visiting hours! Honestly I can’t believe what I’m reading. This is a post natal ward , women should be allowed to recover in peace.

It's horrific and primitive expecting women to sleep around four strange men as they're trying to recover from surgery. I can't believe the things that are normalised in order to justify inadequate nursing resources and I'm surprised more assaults by sleep deprived people don't happen on wards like this.

Men shouldn't be there at night.