Should I pay for myself?

[pinenuts75]

I’ve just been asked about half an hour ago if I would like to go out for lunch tomorrow by a male friend, I’ve said yes, but been thinking should I pay for myself? But then he has invited me out and last minute.

Definitely pay your share. Unless he insists of course.

Is it a date? If just a friend you definitely pay your own way. If a date I'd also pay my own way but you could let him pay and you get the next one if its going well.

You offer to go halves and see what he says.

I will offer to pay for myself I think, but he has just sprung this on me.

Yes you pay for your self. If a friend asked me to go for lunch I wouldn't expect them to pay. If I couldn't afford it as it was last minute, I would say so, then we can arrange another day.

Why wouldn't you pay for yourself? I'm genuinely not understanding your thought process. If a female friend invited you for lunch would you expect her to pay?

Why would it even cross your mind that you wouldn’t be paying for yourself?

Would you have the same thought/questions if a female friend had asked?

If you can afford it you should pay for it all and treat him. He did ask you out on the lunch date!!!! That was a nice gesture in itself. Next time you ask him out and I bet he will pay for you.

If its a friend then yes you pay for yourself. Would you expect your female friend to pay for you.

Of course.

Why wouldn’t you pay for yourself? Unless he said ‘my treat’, I’d assume you would each foot the bill for your own meal.

Obviously you pay. His sex is irrelevant, if a friend says "want to go out for lunch?" you split the bill.

I think you’re completely overthinking this, obviously you pay for your own lunch, why wouldn’t you?

It doesn’t matter that it’s last minute. Here's how the convo goes with my friends:

Friend: Hey, fancy grabbing a bite and catching up tomorrow lunch?
Me: Soz, I’m brassic. After payday? Or you could come round for a brew instead?
Friend: No worries. Let’s do XYZ instead.

See? No worrying about who pays what. Because obviously you don’t expect a friend of either sex to pay for your meal.

I really don’t understand why you’d think you shouldn’t pay for yourself. Last minute invitation or not.

Very sorry I asked 🙄

Do you have a romantic interest in your friend? If so this is probably what is confusing things for you. I would go 50-50. I would also go 50-50 if it were a romantic first date.

No I don’t

If it’s not in your budget you can decline.

This is a weird take on a friend asking if you want to go for lunch. It’s a question, not a demand. He hasn’t ‘sprung’ anything on you, he has merely asked. You get to say yes or no, whichever suits you. I have never expected my friends to pay for my lunch simply because they asked if I was free to go though. You should not ‘offer’ to pay for yourself you should just pay for yourself. Thats what normal friends do, pay those own way.

I’m confused as to why you’re even asking. Of course you pay for your share. Someone asking you to lunch isn’t an offer to pay for your lunch.

Huh?? 🤯

I don’t understand your thought process at all here!! This is just weird!

So it’s not romantic, would you expect a female friend to pick up the tab? Course not, you go halves.

OP, you come across as being socially awkward. Do you overthink in other areas of your life too?

It’s really not that big of a thing…nobody has ‘sprung’ anything on you, and you can say no! It’s lunch, with a friend, not a Royal Invitation.

You say that you’re ‘sorry you asked’…but you did ask, and people are telling you that it’s not a big deal and that of course you should pay for yourself (why you would ever have assumed otherwise is strange to be honest). Take the advice, and spend some time working on your self-esteem and social skills.