Should I pay for myself?

[pinenuts75]

I’ve just been asked about half an hour ago if I would like to go out for lunch tomorrow by a male friend, I’ve said yes, but been thinking should I pay for myself? But then he has invited me out and last minute.

Again, I don’t need a man to pay. It’s gentlemanly, and good manners for a man to offer to pay. I’d think they were poorly raised if they didn’t. Call me old fashioned - it’s a hill I’m willing to die on!

I don’t think you’re old fashioned. I think you’re astonishingly rude to think that there is any kind of moral obligation on men to pay for women for anything. I really hope you’re just on a wind up.

Definitely not. Like I said, I’d offer but I’d quietly be offended if a man didn’t pay. Thankfully, the men in my life would be appalled and greatly offended at the prospect of a woman paying. Were women, closest things to god and definitely deserving of being paid for in all aspects of life imo.

But they’re not a partner, or a boyfriend or a date when maybe you’d expect to take turns or “who asks pays.” It’s just a random mate who happens to have a penis.

So, women can have friends and only pay for themselves. But if men have female friends, they must pay for themselves and the women gets a free dinner, or the man is badly raised?

Wow. I have two boys. I’m teaching them that women like you are toxic trad wives who should be avoided.

The women in my circle are successful and have their own money and don’t rely on men to pay their way for them. I’m much happier with my circle than yours.

do you lack reading comprehension or are you being deliberately obtuse? There’s no relying. I’m successful as are my friends. I could be a billionaire and still expect a man to pay.

Boo hoo. Teach them some manners, and yourself while you’re at it.

Which is toxic. Going through your life expected a man to pay your way is toxic.

Women are better than that. We can have our own bank accounts and everything these days.

Explain to me why men have to pay, even just your male friends, otherwise they’ve got no manners.

What values are you basing that on? What reason is it that men have to pay, and women shouldn’t. Is it perhaps based in the patriarchy? The old values of women being property, of not being allowed access to their own money?

My kids have modern manners, based on modern values. I’ve tried very very hard to make sure they don’t root themselves in the patriarchy, and they know to avoid trad wives.

Yes we do have our own bank accounts and I like it to stay full. It seems you’re deliberately avoiding my answers and reframing each question. Ps I’m not a “trad wife” I’m a single mother by choice with a successful business so, there’s that.

You’re the one who can’t explain why you think men should pay for you, other than “well, they’re men.”

And that means that your values are rooted in the patriarchy and misogyny. Which is toxic. Just like every trad wife out there, holding women back.

Ok babes whatever fits your narrative x

Whst an utterly insane thread on so many levels..

If you were a billionaire you'd still want a man to pay?
That is absolutely batshit. You must be on a wind-up surely.

so which men are you expecting to find your lifestyle so you can keep your bank balance full? is the babt daddy expected to fund both your lifestyles or is there just a succession of men friends there to pick up the bill

if you have a son, are you really happy for him to spend all his money on women who refuse to pay for themselves "cos I'm a Princess!!"