Would you go away for 3 weeks when pets are elderly?

[Curlewwoohoo]

We want to go to New Zealand to stay with my dad and go travelling around, either next Christmas or the one after. I went 20yrs ago. Kids have never been. We probably won't go again. These years work well for us with the kids ages, before we get into exams etc. I'm also keen to go while my dad has his fitness and health and is still able to do things with us. We'd go for 3 weeks.

My issue is our pets. Ddog is 14 and has gastric issues, arthritis, no teeth, very short walks only and I'm currently home cooking for him after a few difficult weeks, all this said he seems happy currently. Dcat is 18 and is diabetic, I inject insulin twice a day and generally keep an eye for signs of hypo or hyper, but is also happy and otherwise well.

I can't decide whether to book our trip for Xmas 2026 because pets are currently both as well at they will ever be. We would look to keep them at home and use a pet sitter and a combination of friends and family. It feels like there is a risk of having to cancel if they're ill and no one can care for them. Or do I wait until 2027 thinking that probably they will not be here by then. If they are though, then there's more risk of having issues with their care.

Obviously I love them and want to do the right thing by them, as well as making this trip ... At some point!

To go in 2026 we'd need to book flights soon after Christmas this year... If we want the best price.

That is hard, id probably go for 2027 tbh.

We had some customers at the kennels i help out with. 2 Dogs were old old and they frequently left them for weeks at a time.

During one visit, it was like the dog was dying from the inside out. Horrible gunky eyes, incontinent, it was absolutely heartbreaking to watch and care for him. He died when with us. Parents sounded upset but then told us about a waiting list they were on for a pup bearing in mind one dog still existed. Im sure they hoped said remaining dog would die on us on future stays. We ended up giving him a Michelin star dog diet and the parents always seemed disappointed on collection. He did die a few months later at home I believe. The puppies conveniently arrived a couple weeks later and now board with us.

My point being, I couldn't leave mine if they were really old and with issues x

Gosh that's awful! What horrid people.

I wouldn’t personally , I’d wait until the pets have died .

My son now lives in Australia and desperately wants us to visit. I have 2 11 year old border terriers and one gets bouts of pancreatitis. I wont leave them. They wont be around for ever so we will visit at some point. If I did go and one was ill or died I know I wouldn’t enjoy the holiday at all and would feel I had let them down.

I wouldn’t unless I knew I could leave them at their home with someone they already knew and loved.

It's a no from me sorry @Curlewwoohoo We had an elderly cat, Lucy, (she was the last one we had out of 4 - over 25-26 years, she died in late 2024 aged 18.)

The 3rd cat of ours to die, died age 17 in 2021.

As Lucy was the only one left then, for the last 2 to 2.5 years of her life, she was clingy, and needy, and she developed a health issue every 3 months or so for the last 2 years of her life. Her hearing started going, her eyesight wasn't great, she had arthritis, and she was losing weight. By 17, she had just 3 teeth left. All down to old age the vet told us when we took her. We kept her comfortable, and loved her and cared for her, and the vet made sure she had any meds and painkillers and anti inflammatories she needed.

She was so cuddly and loving and adorable and happy, but there's no way we could have gone on holiday and left her, not for more than 3 days.... We would never have put her in a cattery. We found a sitter who looked after her for 2-3 days a few times (in our home) and she was OK then, But even then, she was alone 22-23 hours a day, and we felt bad about that. (Even though she was asleep for about 16 of those hours!) So we couldn't have a holiday of more than 2-3 days for about 3 years. She came first though.

No WAY would I leave an elderly pet for 3 weeks.

.

This.

This. It sounds like they have quite complex needs as well so I wouldn't want to leave them.
I have 2 dogs, a 17 yr old and a very anxious 13 yr old and I wouldn't want to leave them.

It's just tricky because of course my dad is not getting younger. But yes I was leaning towards not booking anything, before this post. I need to break that to family.

They require complex care even at home. I don't think you have long to wait with your dogs health to be honest.

My friend left their ten year old in the usual Kennel for three weeks. He died the day before they got home. They were heartbroken.

I think you should go - your pets will be well looked after with friends and family looking in on them as well as a pet sitter.

My dog is nearly 16, very slow, bit blind and fairly deaf, has very short walks, is happiest snuggled beside one of the family on the sofa. But I still have to leave him at home when I go into the office, and left him with a sitter when we went on holiday for a week this.summee.

I really understand where you're coming from, but if you put things on hold 'just in case' you could be putting this trip off for a couple more years, and it could be hard to find a period when you can make it work as a family.

You're going to see your dad, that's so important for you and him and your children., it's not as if it's Disneyland which will always be there.

Please don't let the posters saying they could never do this make you feel guilty ' you're not abandoning your pets, you're arranging care for them.

I'm sure your Dad is looking forward to seeing you and his grandchildren as soon as he can, taking the logistical challenges into account. To postpone, until the family pets die, is really to treat him poorly.

I think your son would see this as you putting your dogs over him, which must make him feel so rejected.

Can't you get someone to mind the dogs so you can visit him?

You say he desperately wants you to visit - is he miserable and lonely and need some support, does he want you to meet a girl/boy he's planning on proposing too, or does he want to share his fantastic new life with you? Do you know why?

You say the dogs won't be with you forever, do you'll visit at some point, but will he be that interested in seeing you then?

Going against the grain here because I say go, you shouldn’t be counting on your dad either. If your pets are still around then arrange appropriate care including instructions for if the worst happens whilst you are away. Don’t leave things for tomorrow because tomorrow may never come

And this is my dilemma!

I dunno I think 11 is an ok age for you to go, what if they live to 15? You don't want to end up in my predicament!

I’d go 100%, and spend the year setting up a home based experienced carer they can get to know.

How would you feel if you left them and they died in the care of a stranger while you were on the other side of the world?

We are in the same dilemma. We are grabbing a week and have a team of house sitters arranged to stay with him( 16 year old dog we adopted at 14).This isn’t until summer 26 though and he’s already frail. I certainly would leave him for 3 weeks. You make a commitment to pets.

There’s no easy answer, personally I wouldn’t go unless I had a reliable relative looking after pets, absolutely no way would I leave in kennels, not with their needs.

I think if you book for 2027 you can be reasonably sure DDog won’t be around. And you’ll find someone to look after DCat.
If it turns out both are still around in 2027 then I’d just sort it then. We have put men on the moon so I’m sure you can sort care for your pets! Nothing is insurmountable.

I would have to completely trust the sitter and even then it’s quite a lot to put on someone else if something goes wrong. I’d hate it if they died and I wasn’t there. I think I’d leave it until at least 2027 if I were you. It doesn’t sound very likely ddog will be around sadly but dcat might. When my dcat was 20 I don’t honestly think she cared if I was there or not as just slept constantly but you would always have the risk of something happening in that time frame of course.

It’s not about whether she can sort care though, it’s about how she’d feel if they passed away or took a turn for the worse and she wasn’t able to get back.

Pets look for their owners in those last few seconds.

I think this is too exteme the other way. The dogs are only 11, border terriers frequently live to late teens - what about your son? I would find it so hurtful if my mum prioritised not that elderly pets over me.

OP - I think you should make it happen. It sound like your dog is heading for end times and I personally don't agree with keeping elderly animals (or people!) going when their quality of life becomes too poor. Book for 2027, plan for your dog to have a dignified end when the time comes and make arrangements for your cat. Don't lose all perspective, like the crazy poster who won't leave middle aged pets.

@snoopythebeagle Well that could happen to any pet (or indeed loved one in the form of a human) any time you go away. Life (and death) is unpredictable. Her dad could die waiting to see her whilst she cares for pets. Or the dog and cat could pass away whilst she’s out one day.

Being right next to your elderly pet at all times in case they pass away just isn’t a standard I would hold anyone to personally.