Kids " sick" days

[RubySquid]

I read on so many threads about sharing of parenting and who has to look after kids on " sick" days as though it's a regular thing.

But in reality how much time do kids actually have off sick to make it a big deal to worry about. For example DS had 2 days off nursery with conjunctivitis, a couple of weeks off school with chickenpox in ks1 and 2 days with a sickness bug at about 8. He's visited the GP 3 times in his life and hands now graduated from uni

Similar stories with DDs, id say apart from the pox less than a week off for other sickness during school time

Yet the way people go on about covering sick days it seems that it's scents happening every couple of weeks. So we're my kids unusual in not getting constantly ill

What? Even with a banging headache or a temperature, achey all over...
My kids hardly ever had/have S&D but they do catch awful colds chest infections.
Are you a Dose and Go Mum?
If so, thanks for that!

My kids have had the odd sick day here and there. DD got chicken pox in reception so must have been off for longer then. DS got it 2 weeks later so was off nursery.
A good friend of mine (her DS and my DD were in same class at school and they're now 19) used to keep her son off for the slightest thing. I would see her with him in sainsburys and she'd say 'he's got a bit of a sniffle!'.

I think the average number of viral infections in an infant at nursery works out to one every 2 weeks, if that virus is a mild cold then great. But if its rsv, norovirus, hand foot and mouth, chicken pox etc one after the other and your child is miserable then it can feel like they're home more than at nursery. Your children get less illnesses than average by the sounds of it, enjoy your run of good luck!

My DD gets terrible chest infections too but it's not really fair to blame the parents of more robust kids. Schools want them in if they only have a sniffle. It's just bad luck if you have kids that pick up someone else's sniffle and it goes to their chest. It's the risk of sending them to school.

And I say this as someone whose DD has been in hospital 3 times with what started off as a "just a cold" and ended up being pneumonia.

The 48 hour rule is for all ages, including adults in the workplace.

DD was born late 2020 and got her first virus at 14 months. She then had scarlet fever and for the last 4 years has been prone to chest infections so every other cold she's had has resulted in some time off nursery.

On the other hand, she's only had a stomach bug once, never caught chicken pox, hand, foot & mouth etc, so I wouldn't say she's more prone to illness, just this particular vulnerability.

Most parents I know say that children are more prone to viruses in the first year or so of childcare as they build their immune systems. And most (I only know young families where both parents work) talk about struggling with having to take time off work.

If your children are older, it's probable that a) you don't remember how frustrating it is having to juggle & rearrange work at the last minute / balance leave allowances; b) there have been social shifts in the last 20 years that changed how people experience this (stricter sickness policies, difficulties accessing primary care etc); c) your children's immune systems developed more normally in their early years as they weren't affected by lockdowns and surges in viruses due to the pandemic restrictions.

I mean my son was struggling to breathe, on inhalers and even had to spend a day in hospital on steroids to help with his breathing, but I didn’t think that level of detail was necessary for me to explain why some children have more sick days than others.

I think if my son still gets that unwell when he’s at school, school will have to understand rather than be “off”.

@Moglet4 Surely as a teacher you wouldn’t want seriously unwell kids in your class, infecting others and having to be sent home? In fact you don’t seem to believe that children can ever be seriously unwell unless they have D&V?

Colds are always viral. They're a viral illness.

My youngest managed sepsis, HFM, chickenpox, covid (twice), conjunctivitis, strep which turned into SF and was hospitalised for flu within his first 18 months at nursery. That was without including the three vomiting bugs, slapped cheek, random viruses with 40+C fevers and allergic reactions (also a required hospital trips) on several occasions. Then there was also the constant sending home for being in contact with someone who tested positive for covid.

He didn’t attend all five days for any of the 18 months he spent at nursery before going to school. Some weeks he didn’t attend at all and one month he made it in twice.

Then there were my other children that some of these viruses were passed onto or their own reasons for not being able to attend.

Our son also has frequent ear infections, he doesn’t attend school when he has them as they’re extremely painful, they make him feel ill and he experiences flu like symptoms. It also removes his ability to communicate effectively.

Im not blaming, just being glib, kids get sick 🤷
The other poster implied anything other than S&D her kids are sent to school, that's just daft.
That and the no TV rule!

You’re very lucky op, my son was in hospital this year for ten days with a bug. We kept him out four more days because he was getting weak walking about. When he got out we got an email about his attendance in school. This was because last few years he was out a lot with ear infections (we’ve been to specialists because they thought he needed gromits and it all ended up being that he needed braces just in case this helps anyone!). My other son has asthma and a weak chest and get chest infections, generally out about ten days at a time with bad breathing, horrific cough. Other two sons- perfect attendance, no sickness (crossing fingers!!) I’ve had to leave jobs because I’ve been told they needed me in but my children needed me home and dh (principal breadwinner), was getting into trouble too. So you’re lucky op- I always say work is easy, it’s making sure the kids are covered that’s not!

Yeah, I didn't mean to be spiteful, sorry. I don't think early childcare is something to ne judgemental about in itself and I can see why I gave that impression.

I am getting a vibe from the OP of "tinkly laugh, gosh I expect schools are off with you if you have THAT much time off!!" a sense that everyone else is just not as resilient as her. Rightly or wrongly I picked up a sense that being attuned to her child might be less important to her than following the rules.

It depends how old they are too, when my DC were nursery aged it seemed at least one of them was ill each month...plus some things like chicken pox have quite a long exclusion period.

Now they are both primary school aged, they only tend to have 2/3 days off schools per school year for high temperatures (luckily they don't tend to get vomiting bugs).

Agree. It was me that OP made that response to.

She made an assumption that my DC have several sick days because I’m perhaps simply allowing it and I’m going to be challenged when they’re at school.

In reality, both my children have had countless hospital admissions and several stays each on the high dependency unit because of a simple respiratory virus that would cause just a runny nose in another child. And because I didn’t explain that’s why my DC have missed a lot of nursery because of a cold, OP was judgmental about it.

So I am very much getting superiority complex vibes from OP.

It’s not. It’s only a recommendation. Schools can choose to include it in their policies or not. Neither of my older daughters’ secondary schools do.

@CryMyEyesVioletmy tv rule has worked perfectly fine for me and the illnesses my dc have had. Dd2 has never been off school anyway (15 now) and if dd1 is off (a couple of times) then all she wants to do is sleep. Rather obviously, in the situation you describe, it’s a different negotiation.

Bless him - and you - that sounds horrendous

I don’t think most kids have had “bad flu symptoms”. Flu is serious, obviously if she got flu I wouldn’t send mine in but she’s never had it. If she’s got a cold, she’s going in. DV is all mine has ever been off for.

There’s a lot of luck involved IMO. Some kids seem to get every illness under the sun, some don’t. I’ve had maybe 5 days off work to cover sickness since DD started nursery, DH probably about the same. She’s 8 now and has only missed 2 days of school, nursery was where the germs hit. We paid for the chickenpox vaccination privately when she was younger, so we didn’t have to worry about time off for that.

Of course not but ‘as a teacher’ I can also confidently say kids are kept off when they’re not ‘seriously unwell’ at all. I’m fortunate that my children don’t have serious underlying health conditions but a cold? Earache? Period pain? Toothache? Headache? Growing pains? They’re going in. Sending them in with a cold won’t make the blindest bit of difference to infection rates - they mix outside school and have usually all passed it around already - so you’ll have 30 odd sniffly kids while one stays off.

Are you trying to be goady?
Surely you understand that some kids get more sick than others.
In this post you suggest the reason the poster's son is off sick more than yours is that he has an underlying condition. So obviously you do understsand that there can be reasons why children are off school more than yours.
You should count your blessings that your children got all the way through school with very few absences.

Of course some kids are kept off school when they don't need to be, it was your stated blanket policy of never letting your children stay off school unless they had diarrhoea or had vomited that seemed unbelievably harsh. But hopefully you were exaggerating for effect - or somehow your kid has literally never been in bed, pale with a high temperature and clearly not well enough for school.

You're so lucky OP.
My DS1 went to nursery at 9 months. That autumn and winter I was called out of work every two weeks to go and get him. Just high fever, upon high fever. And each time it would result in having to take one or two days out of work depending on the day of the week he'd get ill. I thought there was something really wrong with him to have such poor immunity. It was certainly a baptism of fire, but it ultimately built up his immunity for life.
My workplace was seriously unimpressed with me during that time. 2009 wasn't really geared up for WFH. I missed so many important meetings and clients messed about. Colleagues having to cover for me. It was a male dominated industry and I was the first female employee to have had a baby in 12 years at that company and the first ever to return after mat leave. I was not the best example of 'having it all'.