Kids " sick" days

[RubySquid]

I read on so many threads about sharing of parenting and who has to look after kids on " sick" days as though it's a regular thing.

But in reality how much time do kids actually have off sick to make it a big deal to worry about. For example DS had 2 days off nursery with conjunctivitis, a couple of weeks off school with chickenpox in ks1 and 2 days with a sickness bug at about 8. He's visited the GP 3 times in his life and hands now graduated from uni

Similar stories with DDs, id say apart from the pox less than a week off for other sickness during school time

Yet the way people go on about covering sick days it seems that it's scents happening every couple of weeks. So we're my kids unusual in not getting constantly ill

Mine have never had this. They have had a vomiting bug once where they came home I’ll from school. And they complained of a headache once and I collected them. So that’s 4 times(think I said 3) Twice each. My dd is 12 and ds is 10…

Yeah and one in nursery full time for 13 weeks she probably didn't notice he had a cold solidly for the first year!

I do think we’re lucky in part, although ds did have quite a few viruses and fevers the first year he was at nursery. He started at 10 months, in the November and they’d mostly gone by the summer. DD never did; I put it down to being exposed to everything with an older brother!

so many factors that will effect this, but the bottom line is we’re all different.

DS had a few days in nursery/reception but since then has had about 5 days off throughout the whole of primary and secondary school.

DD (year 4) seems to pick up every illness going around, and gets a raging fever with the slightest cold so has more odd days off.

I am of the mindset that sometimes you have to push through feeling a bit under the weather but when they’re little they don’t gain anything from being in school when they’re unwell, they can’t concentrate and end up being nursed by a TA who could be supporting someone’s learning (I say this as a teacher who frequently has children sleeping in the corner of the classroom/having to be looked after by support staff)

Is this just another MN ableist thread that is basically parents who hit the immune system jackpot saying my children are never unwell etc....... and anything less is ridiculous as if my child can do it anyone's can.

Shock horror people have different immune systems, people have underlying conditions that make them more susceptible to illness etc.... get over it. Great your child didnt miss much school, what difference does it make to you if Gary has more time off than your kids. Ffs.

Or maybe they are that parent that sends their child into nursery when clearly ill and causes everyone else to be ill too.

That’s quite spiteful, actually.

Well, surely it depends on how the child is affected by the cold?

We don’t routinely keep DC off for a cold, but if she’s really struggling with it and would benefit from a restful day at home, it seems a bit mean to send her in?

I’m not reading it like that. It is getting to the point where it’s impossible to discuss anything without people taking offence and getting huffy.

I think we all recognise some people are unwell more than others. And in that bracket there are people who can be a bit dramatic about illness - my brother is like this; he has a cold at the moment and is telling everyone he is ‘full of the flu.’

You have been very fortunate OP.

You don’t have to ask my permission; it’s not my call. It wasn’t aimed specifically at you, apologies if it came over that way. I do think people can be dramatic about minor illnesses and also kids can as well (who wouldn’t want a day off in the warm with people fussing over you!)

Once they were school age - not many sick days at all. Ds2 is ridiculously healthy and has only had one sick day (norovirus) in three years, ds1 has had maybe 12 days off in 5 years

But when they were at nursery, it was a different story entirely - endless bugs! I think they were off at least once every six weeks with something. But at least we didn't need to save annual leave for the school holidays.

What, really? Even if they have a temperature / stomach pains / earache / coughing like a barking dog / looking pale and can’t get off the sofa, you’d send them in?
Luckily mine aren’t often ill. It’s hard sometimes when they’re little to judge though, as they can go from really unwell in the morning to bouncing round the house in the afternoon, or conversely you think, no they’ll be fine and send them in and get a phone call to pick them up cos they’ve been sick and feel like a crap parent!

Not just that - even if you do send them in when they have a fever, are visibly unwell, dont nursery just call to collect them?

See ear ache is one of the things I would say calpol and in. Ds has had recurrent ear infections since being about fourteen months. If I’d kept him off nursery / school every time one flared up I’d have lost my job a long time ago and his life would have been seriously impacted.

I think something that makes a big difference is your work situation.

We both work and it's pretty inconvenient for our teams if we take short notice days off to look after our kids or WFH at lower capacity to look after them.

We won't send them in if they are really unwell obviously but if it's a cold (no fever, just snottiness) even if they would prefer a rest day, we will send them in

I would say your son has been healthier than most. I raised 4 children they all over their school years had more time off than that due to sickness. All bar ds who had a kidney issue in year 7-9 and was under great Orman Street Care. Were average children health wise.

I do recall one year where a sickness bug swept their school to the extend they had only 30 students in for the day across all years (primary school capacity was 120) dd3 was one of them ds was at home with me sick as well. All of the teachers and staff also got this bug.

I recall calling dd3 in with chickenpox in reception for the receptionis to laugh and tell me "she is no 39 today"

Dd1 had suspected appendicitis that was 3 days off. Dd2 feel on ice and badly hurt her jaw we were worried it was broken. And following x ray were sent home to return in 2 days with orders of not sending her to school. They wanted to check a shadow on the jaw to see if it was a break. Thankfully it wasnt.. dd1 and 2 both had some days off due to period cramps. Dd3 spent 4 days in hospital due to a nasty eyeinfection.

They all bar ds with kidney iasue where within the average range of sickness never flagged as high.

I did very much mind reciving the letter stating ds attendance was too low during the worst of his kidney issue. The school was aware of his condition they also regularly were the one sending him home as he was in pain. I am a great believer that attendance letter should not go out to children who have prolonged medical issues that the school are provided with evidence off. Like a letter from the hospital. It was stressful in a period where I was worried about loosing my son. Not needed. Ds is now a healthy 24 year old living his best life.

Not the poster you are replying to however I’m assuming n Scotland so this bullshit applied by councils and schools doesn’t apply. Thank god.

One of mine missed months of high school, we were very (un) fortunate that a parent was home all day due to disability anyway.

Different kids. So their own immune systems are different.

Also different classes means contact with different kids and their parents ways. DD2 was in a class with parents who even tried to hide chicken pox as they didn't want to take the day off (ran their own business). There were two children in her class who on several absolutely should not have been in.

DD1 had 99% attendance several years in a row. In one of those years DD2 had 70% as she had one year of catching absolutely everything, and it hitting her hard.

My family is the same op. I’ve always assumed we’re just lucky. Exdh has been in the country 30 years and still hasn’t signed up for a doctors surgery. We eat well, and are all in to sport if that makes any difference.

That’s nearly three months off; that isn’t everything hitting her hard, that is surely should have been investigated further!

Lots of children have good immune systems and can fight off most things without needing time off school and some don't. Other children have chronic health conditions, my little one has had a week off already and has had a few more days where I have had to go in and collect him, it doesn't make him weak or somehow lesser than other children who are blessed with good health.

I think health anxiety in parents is a cause for the rise in sick leave as is the fact that you can't take children out of school like you used to be so the D&V excuse is used.

I think you’re missing out on the change since Covid- both in how people deal with sickness and I think in the kinds of things circulating.

our nursery has a rule that says 24 hours at home after starting an antibiotic (even if it’s one they’ve had before) and 48 hours after sickness (fair) or a temperature (a bit bonkers). So if my child looks lethargic and has sniffles they will check her temp, call me to collect, and that’s 48 hours off.

I think people were a lot more chilled about colds and coughs pre-covid and not everybody has reverted. My eldest has barely ever had a vomiting but, my youngest had four in the year she started nursery, I came down with two of them, the whole house came down with one. Eldest has recurring ear infections, is usually totally fine but twice this year had antibiotics and the second time I couldn’t get away with pretending we’d started them on the weekend so had to keep her home.

id say in total for various reasons we end up missing two full weeks of work a year due to a combination of keeping one or other of them home, but thankfully I have a wonderful mother in law with a cast iron constitution who is happy to take them. I wouldn’t say either of them is a particularly unwell child either, it’s just a combination of them both being prone to different things and therefore off at different times and overzealous childcare provider rules.

Not all colds are equal. Sometimes they are just runny nose and a bit of a cough, other times you can be floored with them.