Kids " sick" days

[RubySquid]

I read on so many threads about sharing of parenting and who has to look after kids on " sick" days as though it's a regular thing.

But in reality how much time do kids actually have off sick to make it a big deal to worry about. For example DS had 2 days off nursery with conjunctivitis, a couple of weeks off school with chickenpox in ks1 and 2 days with a sickness bug at about 8. He's visited the GP 3 times in his life and hands now graduated from uni

Similar stories with DDs, id say apart from the pox less than a week off for other sickness during school time

Yet the way people go on about covering sick days it seems that it's scents happening every couple of weeks. So we're my kids unusual in not getting constantly ill

Shame you went for the "brave" husband and not the one who could afford to support his family then, isn't it 😉

He wasn't my husband duh. If he had of been then I couldve lived In military housing.

Although I'd saved hard to buy my flat so wasn't going to not pay the mortgage . And I was my flat not his.

A child out of wedlock?! How scandalous!

Obviously I'm trolling now, but you get the idea.

We can all judge other people for their choices, or we can choose not to and see that everyone is just doing the best for their children.

It sounds like life wasn't always easy for you: you had children young, with a partner who wasn't around, and had to make some very difficult choices along the way. You did everything you could, making the best choices for your kids with what you had at the time.

Every parent posting on here is doing the same.

I don't judge you for any of your choices, and was being intentionally facetious with my last couple of posts. My mum was self-employed and had to go back to work around the same time too, despite obviously wanting to be at home with me instead.

Perhaps you're feeling bitter, because times are different now. But I'm not sure why you made this post to just go on to be unkind and judgemental towards most people who replied, accusing people of "breeding with sick people" and "being lazy buggers".

Bitter,? Whatever would i be bitter about?

The peope who replied were jumped ion the attack when I had just asked a question. Hence the fight back. And its basic biology if you breed with people with hereditary diseases or a weak constitution then you are more likely to pass this onto kids. And some people are lazy buggers As I said my brother could try it on throwing sickies big time. But i hadn't accused anyone in particular of these things.

And so implied that other people’s children are. As well as saying that husbands that “sit at desks” are “wussy”

it’s just not helpful.

I don’t need to screenshot as plenty of people saw it. I just don’t think it’s ok. Also to re-post a screen shot is repeating the post!!

it was my opinion and MN agreed as they deleted it.

we have the right to report if we feel attacked - just as you have the right to report as well if you wanted to.

Again it’s words such as “duh” and “breeding” that aren’t helping your cause OP because people will feel the need to respond to those rather than the original questions.

So you agree, in answer to your original question, that some children are just sick more often than others and therefore need more days off school?

Well maybe people should reply to what is ACTUALLY written not what they " think" I'm implying. Pretty simple really

And how do those couples with strong constitutions and no hereditary diseases go about ensuring they don't have a child with a genetic mutation or a chromosomal abnormality? Not every disability/illness comes because your parents somehow have 'weak constitutions' or hereditary diseases, some are de novo.

You can't But when there known problems obviously chances are higher that a child with has similar issues

What does that have to do with children taking time off for colds and stomach bugs? Neither of those are hereditary.

Maybe if you'd waited to have kids till the "40 plus mumsnet age" rather than shagging a squaddie when you were very young, you would have had a more solid financial foundation for your family and could have been a little less brittle and black and white when it came to sick days?

I am resorting to being offensive to you, OP because you're being rude to others.

"Sick" in quotes means you don't think other people's children are really sick enough to stay off school. So what? Doesn't hurt you if some people take gentler care of themselves than you felt able to take of yourself. Except it does hurt you, doesn't it? And lashing out at us all is your way of processing something. Sounds like you have had a hard life, and maybe others now make different choices. If you accept it is ok they stay home, you also accept your own life wasn't fair. You would need to accept that if you and your kids felt a bit unwell, you had to suffer. You didn't have inner permission to be soft with yourself or your children. You didn't have outer resources. That is a sad thing. But it's better to sit with it than create a story about others. Your superego is trying to protect you from feeling those feelings, by keeping rigid and asserting everyone else is deficient.

"Lucky" means you believe you're not lucky to be healthy, you believe you have either better genes or should be praised for your work ethic. Again, here you are trying to process the fact that your grit, and determination to get to work, something you've always prided yourself on and expected to receive approval from...maybe was only just luck all along?? Maybe you didn't even feel as ill as others on those days when you pushed on and they stayed home... but you did feel ill, didn't you, sometimes, and it was still unfair you had to go. If you admit you were lucky, you're letting go of your real pain when you were ill, and the part of your personality that prides itself on pushing on.

Also, you want to be angry with others, because you've always got yourself through the hard times by thinking "well at least I've got my grit". It would be a shock to realise that maybe those sickly people have courage too. Maybe (whisper it) some of them have more than you. Or more than a soldier in combat, even? Who can imagine? Who can compare?

After writing all this I genuinely wish you well OP and I wish you softness, for you and your DC and DGC.

Lol. I've heard it all now. That's a hell of a lot of assumptions. And kids weren't sent to school when they were really ill. That was the whole point. If they had genuinely been ill school would've soon rang me don't you think?

I think that kind of deflecting response was what I was expecting. Maybe my assumptions are worth a think about.I still do wish you well OP.

I've a perfectly good life thank you. Mortgage paid off, kids living independently, travel 2 or 3 months of the year, partner I see regularly.

If I'd waited to have kids at 40 my eldest would only be in year 9 now . And likely id be trapped by a bigger mortgage

So why are you sat on MN being obnoxious and judgemental towards anyone with different experiences to yours?

It’s not really the behaviour of someone happy and content with their lot in life is it?!

Everyone is different - my two year old literally hasn't been well since September. Just constant colds, teething or stomach bugs. It was like this last year too (she's also had COVID twice, RSV, bronchitis, norovirus twice, actual proper food poisoning that involved NHS tracking etc....). We're generally a very clean household and her childminder is religious about hand washing, but she still ends up with muddy fingers in her mouth 😂

Cannot wait for her immune system to build up!

Military brat checking in here; with 9 members of my immediate family currently serving across all 3 disciplines.

Just reminding you that there are a hell of a lot of jobs in ‘the military’ that consist mainly of ‘bums at desks’, and a hell of a lot of jobs on civvy street that are very physically demanding and highly dangerous.

As you were, with your borderline eugenics schtick and woefully misplaced superiority.

@Twirlyhockey I’m intrigued: as someone who suffers frequent heavy colds with fever, aching joints etc. several times a year - any chance you could share more on this?!