What does this school mum actually think the rest of us are queuing for??

[aperolspritzbasicbitch]

In general I arrive at my child’s school for pick up about 5 minutes before the playground gate is opened. Not on purpose, it just happens that sometimes the walk is quicker than others. Sometimes I’m the first one there, sometimes there are a few people in front, and others join the queue behind me.

One particular mum will turn up bang on collection time (fine) and just walk past the queue of people patiently waiting and stand right in front of the gate.
As if we aren’t all there for the same reason.

It actually baffles me that she seems to think that her need to collect her child is any greater than the rest of us, but so far haven’t said anything because I can’t be arsed with any playground drama, although yesterday I was tempted to side step in front of her just as the gate was open.

is this not just straight up rude behaviour?

It's one of those many, many faux naive "so what did they say when you asked them about it?" posts. Knowing damn well you didn't ask but they just want to get their little passive aggressive dig in. Boring.

We used to wait at the gate in a way that might have looked like a queue but was really just 'people standing'. There was usually a dog or two and sometimes a pony (rural primary and a couple of kids rode home) and we'd all just sort of loom there socialising until the kids came out in a mass and then we'd all disentangle our own child from the crowd.

Is it that sort of thing, OP? Just people waiting in the order in which they arrive so forming an ad hoc queue to no real purpose? Or is there an actual purpose to the queue (which it doesn't sound as though there is)? Because this other mum can't be a queue jumper if it isn't a purposeful queue, she's just a 'standing somewhere else to wait for her child' mum, isn't she?

Same sort of person that hurtles ahead of cars when a lane is closing.

Is it an orderly line or just a mish mash of parents waiting? At ours, any parent turns up and just finds a space to wait on the playground, there isn’t an actual queue and everyone just files in at once.

You mean someone correctly using both lanes and zipper merging at the correct point? Yes, it does sound like someone efficiently using space in the same way.

I’ve got to be honest, I’ve never actually queued or seen a queue. Everybody just walks up. I think you’re being a bit silly.

But surely a queue is waiting in line so as to be served in that order? If the order in which you are served bears no relation to the place you stand in the queue, it's not a queue? Like when they have numbers you pick up at the counter and they call your number to serve you, it doesn't matter where you stand, does it? So if the dc are released when they are released, queuing makes no sense, and everyone is free to stand wherever they want. If they want to stand in a line, fair enough, if someone else doesn't, they don't. I'm failing to see the problem.

At my kids' school the first parent would stand by the gate, the second would stand a way away from them and then after the third they would struggle in a queue down the street instead of bunching up in the area in front of the gate. I used to walk past them because they are choosing to hang out in the street. I never jump a queue for service, but that wasn't a queue, that was English people not wanting to stand too close to strangers. If it had been a neat queue it would have been different.

But OP, are they queuing or are they waiting? It sounds like they are loitering and waiting. Efficient mum arrives and goes through the gate and kids are then let out in various orders. I can’t understand why this is irritating unless she is somehow pushing past you or causing inconvenience. This post could just as easily be a moan about people waiting in random spots then asserting a queue or some other system. Both are a bit silly…

Is there something else about this mum that makes you feel jealous, threatened or uncomfortable?

It doesn't seem to make any difference to anything whether you queue or not.

That sounds very much like me.

Sneak to the gate early and pin a note on it with big letters that read WE ARE ALL QUEUING HERE, YOU KNOW!!

ideally with an arrow. 😁

If it is only a queue to get through into the playground and doesn’t affect the order you collect your child it wouldn’t bother me at all. In fact if I’m at the back and see a mum elsewhere in the line that I know I will walk to them and stand there whilst avoiding the eyes glaring into my soul 😂

Team Go To The Gate here

I'm on team #notaqueue

But if it’s a queue for a shop the people at the front get the advantage of starting their shopping earlier and getting out earlier. If they are tight on time they can be in and out faster

bus queue, the ones at the front have a better chance of getting a seat.

queue for tickets, those at the front get more choice and won’t risk them running out.

yours isn’t really a queue for any reason. There is no benefit or advantage in being at the front. No one takes anything away from you if they go ahead of you.

That’s called zip and merge. You should read the Highway Code. They are doing it correctly. You are evidently not

I just couldn’t waste my energy getting worked up about it tbh. My sons school is similar, end of the street and there’s two entrance bits, those that walk reach the school gate and stand in a queue all the way up the street (which actually school have sent letters about because people can’t get in an out of their drives), parents that drive have to park on residential streets round the back so walk round and stand near the gate or across the road, they don’t join the ‘queue’. The gate opens and it’s a free for all, everyone just walks in, no matter where they’ve been stood. No one that I know have has cared that much to let it bother them. They all come out, seperation occurs in the playground. It’s a non issue imo.

Yes! And get the the playground before everyone and stand there waiting whilst everyone else gets there to wait with you 😂

Oh dear; in your rush to make your oh-so-clever-and-cutting comment you obviously omitted to read the OP. Oops.

Are some posters unable to understand that some schools are set up differently to their own and in some it can be very obvious that there’s a queue.

My DCs school has a gate for EYFS and there’s a very obvious queue outside of it both at drop off and pick up. It’s literally a gate with a paved path in front and grass either side. And (most!) people queue in a straight line, children are all ready and waiting and released at pick up one at a time from the classroom door. Yet there’s one parent everyday who arrives just before the gates open and cuts across the grass to go to the gate first. You can’t stand any closer if you’re waiting because it opens outwards and you’d get hit by it. She waits just to the side of where it opens and sneaks past whoever’s waiting. She doesn’t seem to care or notice about everyone else waiting. Whereas my older DC are all waiting outside and parents just stand wherever and the teachers call out any parents they can see.

It sounds like the OPs school is more like the EYFS part of my DCs school and the other parent is just rude.

What did you think it was? Some sort of dance formation?! 😆

If the school asks people to queue and wait, then perhaps suggest to the school that they say something.

Or if said parent comes in a car, and you know which one it is, shout loudly once that you think someone could be tampering with it, better the owner go and check.

I kind of admire her for being that oblivious to school gate culture and politics.

It doesn’t actually make even a slight different to how fast you collect your child, because thats totally dependant on when their teacher releases them from class/how long they fanny around for getting their bags and coats.
So what's the problem then?