My neighbour swears her kids sleep twelve hours a night and it has me questioning everything

[GlowWithBalance]

I was chatting with my neighbour the other day while the kids were playing outside. She casually mentioned that her two sleep from nine in the evening until seven in the morning every single night. She said it so calmly, like this was completely normal. I just stood there nodding while silently thinking about my own child wandering into our room at two in the morning asking for water or having a sudden need to discuss dinosaurs.
It honestly made me laugh because she looked so refreshed and put together, and I was standing there with messy hair and a cold cup of coffee I kept forgetting to drink. She wasn’t bragging, just sharing, but it really highlighted how wildly different family routines can be.

I've read the OP about ten times trying to work out how communism is related to her children's sleep but I just can't see it 😂

Our 9 year old sleeps for what feels like half an hour. He is however absolutely riddled with ADHD and autism.

A good, truly wonderful night is 9pm - 5am, with one small wake up between 11-1. Sleeping through fully is a myth.

Otherwise he has been known to sleep 9-11, and then 4-7. Or 9-2 and then it’s just time to get up.

The other night he managed 9-3, turned all the lights on at 4, and spent the next 4hrs singing jingle bells before we took him to school.

The only bit that doesn’t change is the 9, because we force him to sleep with melatonin.

He is finally getting a bit better at independently being awake so we can at least rest, but otherwise - it’s horrendous and we hate it 😂.

@GlowWithBalance Don't question yourself, it has nothing to do with your parenting. Lucky them, if they put their kids down at 7pm and don't get a peep out of them until 7am the next day. Mine only ever needed 10 hours sleep and if we'd put her to bed at 7pm she'd have been wide awake and raring to go by 5am. No thanks.

Same

My first slept through at 3, my second was 7. But one of any antenatel group had a sleepy baby who slept tonnes at night and also had long naps during the day and she lamented she could never get anything done as she was tied to the house!

i think all kids are different and it is no reflection on parenting skills whether you have a sleeper or not. Just luck of the draw.

Mine were good sleepers. Never had them in my bed. They knew not to come into my bedroom unless ill or nightmares. Quick cuddle, then they took themselves back to bed.

I don't know whether luck or routine, but I was pretty strict with bedtimes and staying in own bed even if awake. If my door was closed, then the rule was don't disturb!

My 7YO also still sleeps 10-12 hours per night, and always had since early toddler years. He’s now pushing bed time a little, claiming he wants to read more/chat more, but when he goes to bed a bit later and only sleeps around 10 hours, the following night is back to his 12 hours very naturally!
Occasionally he walks to our bed at I think around 2-3am, but he just snuggles in and keeps on sleeping. No one really notices!

i Never hear from mine once they are asleep, on a weekend they don’t wake up until 9! Could not go back to the baby days 🤣

My daughter is 19 months and usually does 11 hours give or take overnight unless unwell. She started off an average to poor sleeper but just got better over time without us changing anything tbh.

I'm with you OP. I thought it was normal for a child to wake up every night!

I slept from 7 til 7 from a month old. My mum still brags about it, and I'm 41 years old. In reality, she had nothing to do with it, that's just the way I was. Some parents get lucky.

I'm still a good sleeper to this day.

I would hope you’re ignoring the requests for water and dino chat, and tucking him back up into his bed? Mine were good sleepers but I’ve seen friends go through a tough time.

I remember my MiL coming round when DD (not a good sleeper) was a few weeks old. DD was screaming in the pram and we were taking her out to comfort her.
She said "you cant keep picking her up she needs to learn to sleep in her pram" and put her back in. Of course DD started screaming again.
Then mil said in a really stern voice, "now stop that, thats enough" As a ftm i was quite amazed and thought could it actually be that easy...? but Mil had brought up 4 kids....so....
It wasnt that easy, DD stopped and looked bewildered for about a second and then resumed screaming! 🤣 MIL seemed quite surprised

Mine where the same-id put them down about 7 and they'd sleep through until 6:30/7 (definitely by a year old but both where easy babies who only woke one or twice by about 4 months)

I wasn't smug at all but did believe i was doing something right (in my head!)

And then I had no 3

I swear he slept for about 20 minutes over 6 months

I'd get him to sleep and he'd wake up minutes later,full of beans as I tried to get him back over and failing

He honestly broke me-i was running on about 3 hours broken sleep a night and wasn't coping which lead to crushing pnd

He started sleeping,maybe 5 hours a night,by the time he was 5/6

He's 25 now and is still the same-he just doesn't need loads of sleep to function

😂

Hrft but I never slept well as a child, neither does my son.

All children are different.

But yes a regular 10 hours sleep would be life changing for us.

My 7 year old son sleeps 9pm until 8am Monday to Friday, I thought this was the norm?

I desperately wanted this to be a ghost story type reveal - like they sleep 12 hours through the night so whose childlike voice it that you hear singing eerily and sometimes weeping at 2am every night?

But alas.

LOL and this and posts like it.

Do you seriously think everyone with a lower sleep needs baby has a mariachi band at home and makes up a new routine each day?

The NHS says 6-12 year olds need between 9-12h sleep. My DC always seem to need 9/10h sleep rather than 12.

We are often still eating dinner at 7pm.

This was the same for my eldest 2 - absolute dream sleepers. Then I had my 3rd & finally understood about sleep deprivation as a form of torture as he didn’t sleep through the night until he was 8!

They were all fed the same, similar routines etc etc & yet my 3rd was so different that I truly believe it’s luck of the draw!!

Mine are 7-7. The youngest (4) stumbles bleary eyed into my bed sometimes but I don’t even really wake up. Plenty of disturbed nights in the first 3 years though.

I don’t think that was implied in my post and it’s certainly not what I meant. I appreciate people are different.

9pm til 7am is 10 hours not 12.

9-12hrs? Is this a month or…?