People that vanish and don`t want to be found

[TheCheekySloth]

Just been watching a documentary about people that have vanished basically evaporated.
Some just up and left no warnings no fall outs no coming back.
Others left for other reasons, reasons some of us would think are silly.
But to just wake up walk out never come back.
No calls messages nothing they just evaporated.

This got me thinking does this happen more than we think, i dont know anyone that as done it.
Would you do it?
I dont know if i could as ive cut most out of my life, but to just evaporate is a different level.

I once knew someone whose husband had just vanished. They knew he was alive as there was evidence of him using his bank account, but he made no contact with his family again. Police wouldn't do anything as he was clearly just choosing to be somewhere else. They had young children too.

I haven’t known anyone personally but the man who lived next door to my brother disappeared a few months ago. They found his car at a motel close to the expressway. He left his phone behind and has not used a bank or credit card since.

There was a thread on here a while ago about people ‘going to get the paper’ and never returning. Also about people with second secret families.

fascinating stuff

I know of two people who did this.

One was a woman in an abusive relationship who was helped by a former work colleague of mine to disappear and move abroad. As far as I know, the only person who knew her plans was my former colleague.

Second, the brother of a friend of a friend just left home one day aged 16 and never returned. There had been a lot of conflict at home, so the assumption was that he'd left voluntarily. His parents and sister never heard from him again. He'd be in his late forties now.

A mum of a boy in my db’s class in primary school disappeared one day. Her dh was feckless and they were really poor and I wondered if she just had enough of it all. Even before she disappeared, people used to talk about the family, the state of the house, the dad always being down the pub. Even though I was only about 9/10, I used to feel sorry for her. I hope she found some kind of happiness.

I suppose I fit into this category kind of, I didnt walk out for milk, but i moved out but not to the place I said, changed my name, mobile, email etc and didn’t tell anyone just did it, won’t have been reported to the police, but I essentially disappeared and started a completely new life.

Oh that is so sad.

According to the UK Missing Persons Unit:
"Approximately 5,200 long-term missing people are unaccounted for in the UK, out of over 170,000 people reported missing each year. The vast majority of missing person cases are resolved relatively quickly, with about 97% of missing people being found within a week and 99% within a year."
I believe those "found" includes people who still don't return home but are known by the authorities to be safe.

@TheCheekySloth I will look that up, thank you

I think perhaps I find it fascinating because I don't really know who would notice or care if I did it. My mum would, but after she's gone, I think there's no one

I have posted on here a lot when friends vanished, it's so well documented, I should probably name change. So I went through the upset, then the horrible process of meeting new people. I might possibly have made one friend but I will classify the others as acquaintances - and now I feel like I don't know if that was worth it either. Although I was quite happy with it initially at the time.

So the thought of going somewhere completely new, maybe even inventing a past, it's quite appealing. But I wouldn't be leaving any broken hearts behind. I would only do it after mum's gone.

In a way, I find it reassuring that people do this, because it makes me feel less weird about how my life turned out - going from lots of friends to two, maybe.

Looking back at my 20s, two people disappeared and we made efforts to find them (their friends). If it happened again, I probably wouldn't bother, one was just fine and didn't want to be friends with anyone any more and the other one was in rehab for the third time (we never knew he had a problem). But in both cases they were fine. They went AWOL from friends, family and work.

Honestly the temptation can be overwhelming but I would be taking the kids and disappearing as a family its only the fact that my dad depends on me that is stopping it tbh my mom hasnt spoken to be for 6 months my sister the same really the kids father doesn't bother why am I even here?

According to Google most people are found. 81% of missing children are found within 24 hours and 87% of adults are found within 48 hours.

The landlord of a pub near me disappeared along with presumably thousands . He probably got a fake passport as there are no known records of him. It must be so upsetting. Another town nearby the owners of a bakery/tea shop also did the same and sadly did not pay their staff before they went. Again never heard of since.I didn't know them well so I had no part to play. If I had I would be thinking what is it about me !

My Great Aunt went missing. She left two children and a husband (maybe 1930s/40s). The family thought she had died. She had actually run away to London, remarried and had four more children. She came back when she was in her 80s. Probably a lot easier to disappear then!

There has been a lot of stuff online lately about anti-ageing research. AI could turbo charge that research, and within ten years we may have the first generation of drugs to slow and even reverse the ageing of the body. (I believe the first treatments will be called ‘senolytics’. ) After that, the drugs and interventions will just get better and better.

I wonder what would happen if we ever did find a way to reverse human ageing? I have a suspicion that tens of thousands of people would ‘disappear’. I mean literally walk out of their old life, without telling anyone, so they could make a fresh start. I could imagine doing it myself, actually, if it wasn’t for the handful of people I love. I wouldn’t miss the majority of people in my life, and the thought of simply vanishing from their lives gives me a weird thrill.

A local business owner went missing when his business got into trouble, he was eventually found not that far away with new wife and kids, in the meantime his mother had died not knowing what had happened to him. He went to prison for fraud due to the business….and the bigamy I think.

I used to repost social media missing people threads until I read one that pointed out some of these people are escaping abuse and being ‘found’ might be the worst possible thing for them. It’s so hard to know what to do for the best. But I no longer share them.

A friend of a friend, husband came down stairs and she was gone. Left everything including handbag with wallet, phone and passport. Several years now and never even contacted her adult children.

Friend's sister and husband left, first she knew was the kids not being able to get into the house after school and they called her to see if she knew where they were. She believed they went abroad as they were spotted.

I know a 'missing' person. They left the family home years ago and have not been in touch with their family since.

By sheer chance I bumped into them in a motorway service station about 300 miles away around 10 years later. They recognised me and came over to say hello. I have no idea where they live, but they did send me a facebook friends request so we are in occasional contact. I have respected their wishes and have not told their family.

I know of a couple of people that vanished without a trace.

Whats odd is that they had family/friends and they’re still looking for them.

I think if you’re going to do it, as least leave a note so your family don’t think you’ve been kidnapped or dead in a ditch somewhere.

Oddly enough I was watching a Family History documentary on YouTube earlier today about a boy of 13 who walked out of his family home to go to school in 1911 and vanished for five years. So it's not just a modern phenomenon.

This lad turned up eventually, despite what his mother had thought he'd gone of his own accord, joined the army and eventually went back home to run the family business.

Some people are inherently selfish and cowardly, and if they can afford to do it they can.

Some people suffer a severely dysfunctional childhood and take the first opportunity to escape.

Barring abuse or violence of some kind at home, I dont understand why people cant just leave a note saying they have made the choice to leave and please dont look for me.

Its horrifically selfish to let your family think you may have been raped/murdered/kidnapped/dead etc

So callous.

My ex disappeared years ago

He was a cocklodger and to cut a long story short,he got me pregnant,fucked my best mate behind my back and when our baby was 5 months,they got drunk (on my money) and beat me up

He found the grass wasn't greener on the other side and after burning her house down (by accident!) they broke up

He would see you on,say,the friday and you'd arrange to see him on the Tuesday and not see him again for 18 months

He'd rock up acting like he'd seen you a few days earlier and would refuse to tell you where he'd been

Anyway,after dragging me through the courts for access to our baby,he just stopped showing up and I didnt hear a thing from him for 9 years

He wrote to me via a friend and he started seeing our dc again

4 months slid past with him showing up regularly (and let's face it,he wanted a warm bed to stay in and a shag)

I thought he'd grown up and could be a good father (even though hes never paid a penny) when he came round on the friday,spent a few hours with dc,went to leave,saying he'd swing round on the Monday

He walked to the end of the street,turned to wave,turned the corner and vanished

His family showed up a few years later in a newspaper saying that they hadn't seen him in years-I'm not sure if their dates were wrong or he didnt see them at all during the time he was seeing dc (he claimed to be staying with them)

Either way,I'm staying out of it-he will surface at some point if hes still alive

The Nicholas Francisco case was fascinating. There was also an older guy that made a deathbed confession early this year or last that he wasn't who he said he was. He had faked the last 30 odd years of his life