In awe of the lady in my gym class

[Horseducksandchickens]

She's got everything i want .. botox & lips (very subtle, looks great), nails always professionally done, posh designer gym wear, very regular trips to hair/beauty/spa salons.l, designer brands for other things she mentioned. I feel like a total sack of shit next to her.

She is also very lovely in general.

I'm in awe of the surgeon who removed my breast cancer. And my best friend who's an ER nurse and regularly saves people's lives. Also my SiL who is an incredible artist. I could not give a shit about how well groomed, cosmetically enhanced or fashionably dressed any of them are. I find that the most shallow and banal thing to find awesome. Really depressingly so.

But this is also quite mean.

Same here! Or she was a larger lady not giving a shit!

And the work she's had done wasn't that subtle if you noticed it!

I can help here. The last book she read was The Pumpkin Spice cafe

I don’t get why so many posters act like caring about your outward appearance and being well read/intelligent/artistic/kind are mutually exclusive. It’s 2025, a woman could be a nuclear physicist with a totally frozen face if she wants to. Just let women live, honestly. It’s tiring.

With the vast majority of the negative posts here the issue isn’t that the woman at gym does this stuff, nor that because she does she can’t possibly be nice, well read, etc. The issue is that OP is in awe of the shallow shit, not anything substantive. The only thing worth awe of any sort in OP’s description is that the woman is, apparently, lovely (though hard to see how OP can judge that on the relationship she appears to have) and OP throws that in as an aside suggesting it’s not the source of OPs awe.

it’s OP who is showing herself as shallow here. We have no idea about the woman in the gym.

So you’re the woman the OP is talking about?

It’s the only way you could know.

"Everything you want" is botox and big lips? FFS, how pathetic. Maybe ask yourself why you prioritise deforming your face?

Anyone who gets their lips done looks completely ridiculous, why would you be in awe of that?

Oh goodness.. she sounds incredible!

Except outward appearance matters a lot.

They are pretty obtainable things so why not do the same if that’s what you like?

I don't understand why you would be in awe of something anyone can do.

Anyone can get botox and filler and do their nails if they really wanted to.

Same with expensive clothes. It might just take some people time to pay them off.

Think about if you did go and do all of those things. Do you really think that will make you happier in life?

I can’t imagine admiring someone for having crap injected into their face and buying overpriced designer stuff, but each to their own.

I thought this would be about fitness and strength! There's a woman in her 70s in my pilates class who does better than me on most things - that's who I'm in awe of and where I want to be down the track!!

How old is this lady? How old are you?

Completely agree

What a shallow post

Expressing my personal opinion to her face would be mean.

Sharing private thoughts on an anonymous forum isn’t. It’s literally the whole point of mumsnet.

All the things the @Horseducksandchickens is jealous of cost money.

Why aren’t characteristics that involve work but little cost/purchased promoted or desired?

I wasn’t saying that the beautiful gym woman didn’t read, I was trying to point out to the OP that there are other qualities in a person that are just as valid.

I don’t know how old these women are, they sound youngish, 20s, but I’m guessing, if it’s so normal now to want to pump poison into your face to prevent wrinkles, when you are younger, and it be desired as “taking care of your appearance” I think that’s insanity. What OP has described is a picture perfect social media gym go-er. This culture comes with many, many side effects.

Asking if they discuss books, ideas, dreams, goals, ambitions. These seem to be, at the moment, secondary to fake nails.

You’ve missed the point of what people are saying.

it isn’t about the woman, she is of course welcome to spend her time and money how she likes

its about the op being ‘in awe’ of someone because they do those things, and specifically, at a gym where there are so many actual awesome things

Yes, I agree. There are far funner things to spend your money on. Also, with a young child there is only so much child free time I have, I'd much rather spend that time having fun than sitting in a bloody salon.

I also agree with another poster that there is probably an element of insecurity underneath this. I know some women love hair and makeup etc. But I've known plenty who are incredibly insecure and cannot be seen in public without a full face on.

Basically money then. But she will have issues you don't know about.

Exactly this. I thought it was going to be a story about something this woman had achieved or just that she was good at something difficult in the class. (I’m a sucker for a good shoulder stand in yoga.) But you just admire how much money and time she spends on her appearance? I mean, I get that you may think she looks great, but ‘awe’ sounds a bit much. She wears designer clothes, has had Botox and fillers, and has expensively done nails. So what? If you had more money, time, and the inclination, you could do exactly the same.

I'm making no judgement about whether you're right or not but you've just called someone a bitch on Mumsnet, so that's quite bitchy.