My female friend has become an escort

[BeGiddyBiscuit]

Hello all

im just here for some advice

I’m 54 I have a female friend who is 36 , a single mother to to girls

she is/was a student nurse and has just qualified in September

she is now entitled to take a degree but needed to pay £740 to secure the place

she always struggled with money as a single parent and student nurse

she has now told me in that she is now escorting to pay for the course and to make herself financially stable

I am heartbroken and very anxious

obviously I am worried about what she is doing

I was trying different ways to warn her off escorting

I mentioned her nursing career and she told me it didn’t matter as as long she did her escorting and not link it to her job or do it on sick days she would be fine as escorting is legal
is this correct ?

also I told her she would probably have to pay tax. She is registered with adultwork.
she told me she would need to pay tax or declare anything as there were ways around it
is this also correct ?

im trying to find to find ways to discourage her , but failing as she’s made her made her up and she now realises how much money she can make , £2100 for one weekend and weekly trips to Europe for 5000 plus

I feel she is throwing everything away,

Any advice would be appreciated

thx

She needs funding to further her long term career and this govt thinks it's appropriate to charge nurses to train (while importing nurses from overseas). How else is she, as a single mum with no support, supposed to find the money? Nurses aren't paid brilliantly even when fully qualified, so getting into debt now isn't a great idea.

It's horrible that students feel they have to do this but I know two university students who are doing similar to limit their student debt.

Tbh I’d be there to support her but please stop trying to discourage her. Either accept her chosen path and be there when she needs you or don’t and step away

Does she just want to make the 740 or does it look like she’s becoming suckered by the supposed big bucks long term?

As the sums of money she is taking about are delusional

A Very close relative did the same thing. 15 years on she's left that behind while equally having no issue with it.

If it's consenting it's absolutely fine. IMHO

As long as she is being respected and she feels fine about it, it is her business and not yours.

As far as laws go, I don’t know. And we don’t only need to consider the current laws, but how they might change in the future. So a little suggestion could be blurring her face or any visible tattoos in photos so she can’t be identified. But again, her business, not yours.

sending you both good energy!

You need to stop overreacting and actually be there for your friend as a friend.
You are being wayy OTT with the 'throwing it all away' stuff.
You are not wrong to feel concerned though. Your friend is going to need you to be there for her. Escorting certainly is not some easy money maker. It's dangerous and has an emotional and psychological impact.
End of the day she is an adult and this is her choice. You won't dissuade her if her mind is made up. But you could try and have less of a knee jerk reaction to it and try and be there to listen as a friend. Coz she's really going to need that!

I had a friend from uni do something similar as a student. It paid all her fees and let her save and live comfortably as a student

We graduated 17 years ago and it’s never been an issue with her career. Once she had her first proper job she gave it all up. She graduated with no debt and savings in the bank so could quickly get on the housing ladder. Others are still paying student loans and renting.

As long as your friend is safe and is happy doing this then I would just advise to support her.

She’s being very silly and risking her future employment. The NHS will strike nurses off for this due to bringing the profession into disrepute.

No judgement from me but I think this might breach the NMC Code of Conduct. She needs to check that out. I'd be very surprised if it didn't.

The NHS can’t ’strike off’ nurses. The NHS isn’t the organisation that registers nurses and therefore cannot strike them off the register. Nurses are registered by the NMC.

A legal sexual activity, not linked to nursing, would be unlikely to be considered as bringing the profession into disrepute. Nurses are perfectly entitled to fuck whoever they want.

OP, your friend is a grown adult woman and you are not even remotely entitled to be interfering in her choices like this. Her body, her business. You need to mind your own business.

How come men don’t do escorting when they need money?

They do.
Don’t you listen to The Archers? 😉

They do! Not in the numbers that women do, but they absolutely do.

I used to work for HMRC and had my eyes completely opened to how rife it is for students to get sucked into the ‘adult entertainment industry’ It’s rife in the big cities. Lap dancing, escorting, even brothels. It’s a mucky world out there.

I think you are right to be concerned OP,

My main concern wouldn't be the law or her nursing job but whether she survives unharmed to come home to her kids.

Lots of posters saying "as long as she is safe" but how can she know if she will be safe one job to the next?

The kids need their mum and the most important thing is that she is safe even if she can't afford to be a nurse.

Hello

thanks for all the replies

I appreciate it

she is telling me she is being offered anything between 1000 gbp and 5000 gbp per month for sugar baby arrangements

i just feel she is getting more into the escort thing as she is having Morley for the 1st time after a lifetime being broke for her adult life

she has every angle covered and won

She simply won’t listen when I warn her about the potential implications of her job and her children finding out

she says no one ever looked after her when she was broke and down so why should she care if people find out if she’s a prostrate when it’s legal

For example
she talks about big money offers
but she then told me she saw 3 men back to back in Manchester for an hour
all of whom texted her later to say they were in love with her
surely this can’t be healthy

also her photos on adultwork show her face and the tattoos she has
there is no way someone who knows or is acquainted with her won’t immediately recognise who she is

when she was student nurse she had an issue with someone forging her signature to make it look look she had signed on to ward duty and conferences which she had not attended
she believes this was racism ( she is black ) and someone trying to cause trouble for her.
so I’m concerned this person if they see her profile on adultwork will report her

I’m sorry if I seem overwrought but I’m very affected by this

At the very least I would say she needs a business line and needs to draw extremely firm boundaries around her personal life and this stuff. Personally I don’t like it but if she is insisting on doing it I would encourage her to do things that keep her as safe as possible. Sexual health checks, be very careful about her clients, make sure there is clear water between her kids and her work.

I understand why someone would do this if you can get financially comfortable, it can’t be easy being a single mum and studying. I’m not judging her morality but you don’t know what kind of weirdo you can run into.

Has she finished her degree? I am confused by the way you talk about her education

You're right, OP, it's not healthy and it is dangerous. It's disgusting that women and girls are forced into poverty by trying to better their prospects, making them easy pickings for sleazy men with roaming dicks. It's almost like it's deliberate 😡 I don't mean I think it's that straightforward, but some seriously wrong thinking has gone on somewhere.

I agree with PPs that the best you can do is carry on being her friend. There's no need for shaming her or judging her morals: she's taking one course of action to manage her income problem. It will change her, probably, and good friends from before can be a grounding link to the person she is.

I'm pretty sure she's wrong about tax. She'd be wise to keep the tax she doesn't pay in a separate account for when she's found out. As I understand it, she won't lose her licence as long as she keeps her other job well away from nursing.

The glamorous trips and sugar daddies aren't going to materialise. I really hope she's not daft enough to get sucked into scary situations by empty promises.

Thanks for that
she said a German man sent her flowers
I just think she is being seduced by the money at the moment
when I said clients send you gifts and money it’s because they want to own you
she didn’t seem to realise

So after a quick look, there are 6 countries in the EU (out of 27 - 22%) that have legalized prostitution, and it's 2025 so she has a huge amount of resources to make sure she has secure in what she's doing. Based upon having children, divorced, and trying to go to school for nursing, she unlikely went into this blindly. The question of how well she does is going to be based upon ultimately what is she going to be willing to endure and promote herself - like any job. Sophie Rains, 20 year old OF influencer made $83 million (validated) in her first year this August, because it's a job to her. She knows it has a shelf-life and likely investing wisely, but she's never physical with anyone on camera and careful of her brand. The most prolific male Only Fans creator, BTW, is Safaree Samuels, who makes an estimated $23 million (validated) per year. So yes, men will always be willing to spend their money on a sexual fantasy versus women (who are smarter). In the end, just be supportive of her, and if you can't then either don't talk about it or part ways. You're not there to be a judge to her life.