My female friend has become an escort

[BeGiddyBiscuit]

Hello all

im just here for some advice

I’m 54 I have a female friend who is 36 , a single mother to to girls

she is/was a student nurse and has just qualified in September

she is now entitled to take a degree but needed to pay £740 to secure the place

she always struggled with money as a single parent and student nurse

she has now told me in that she is now escorting to pay for the course and to make herself financially stable

I am heartbroken and very anxious

obviously I am worried about what she is doing

I was trying different ways to warn her off escorting

I mentioned her nursing career and she told me it didn’t matter as as long she did her escorting and not link it to her job or do it on sick days she would be fine as escorting is legal
is this correct ?

also I told her she would probably have to pay tax. She is registered with adultwork.
she told me she would need to pay tax or declare anything as there were ways around it
is this also correct ?

im trying to find to find ways to discourage her , but failing as she’s made her made her up and she now realises how much money she can make , £2100 for one weekend and weekly trips to Europe for 5000 plus

I feel she is throwing everything away,

Any advice would be appreciated

thx

I think your friend needs to look at her university or course provider’s code of conduct. If she is still on a course, I can’t figure it out! Student nurses, doctors etc are held to a very high standard of behaviour.

Those amounts sound entirely achievable, you need to stop being so judgy

To Oilofeveningprimrose
yes she has finished her nursing course in September
she is now qualified as a nurse
once she became qualified, she was able to take a degree course in international business law . She was not able to to pay the £ 740 fee to secure the course
which is why she took up escorting

This looks very odd, @BeGiddyBiscuit @FlakyHazelDuck. So she qualified to be a nurse with no intention of nursing? Why did she do that?

I also don't understand how £740 secures a place on an LLB course.

Apologies if my post wasn’t clear, they can be struck from the nursing register. Google the key terms and you will immediately see a few cases of this happening.

Just stop bothering her. It's legal to be a prostitute, leave her alone.

You seem to be very judgy of someone you call a friend tbh.

They do. Mostly gay or bisexual men, but some straight men certainly do it as well.

I suspect far more straight men would do it if there was enough demand.

Also confusing that you've namechanged/are using another account in the middle of a thread.

It’s such shitty work. Honestly, it’s an awful hustle. No bones about it. But the world we’re in is tough as hell and if she can secure a good sum of money in a short span of time, let her find out on her own terms whether or not it’s worth it. That said, she is sailing close to the wind and potentially putting her longterm nursing prospects at risk. This is her life. Her choice. And I get where you’re coming from OP. Women like us in our 50s are kinda matriarchal figures. We’ve done the career gauntlet run and have experienced firsthand how easy it is to get caught up in the seemingly simpler, quick route to earning at the expense of longterm prospects. And then you get stuck and then you’re screwed. I can see the risk of her coming out of this in her 40s, possibly with no pension, likely feeling discarded after spending a few years working hard for a job she can’t even put on a CV. Ok, she can put it on a CV but who would, really though? Let’s be honest.
So she is potentially throwing herself under the bus. You can’t protect her. She’s not listening. She’s in survival mode and obviously needs money, fast. Maybe it’ll all work out well. That possibility is just as likely.

I’m sure she’s not thrilled to bits but this is no woman’s world. Let’s not delude ourselves with 2010s slogan wall stickers. Sometimes a person’s just gotta hustle and do the mean work. I have nothing but respect for sex workers. It’s a tough job and some men hooking up with escorts can be disgusting, degrading, weird, and dangerous. I’d rather flip burgers and pay the £700 plus to get on that course asap. But sometimes it’s just not that simple.
All you can do is be there for her, OP, and not judge her for her choice, which can’t be an easy one for her.

One of those weekends in europe she isnt coming back from.

It can be very good money if you put in some serious hours plus tour.
She needs to register with HMRC and pay tax. To not pay tax on earnings is illegal.
In many instances though escorting is NOT the lucrative industry it used to be before covid.
She may wish to register as a different line of work so HMRC don't think she is rolling in it. Eg model beautician etc. It is not illegal to put another job but to not pay any tax or national insurance is illegal.
That said plenty of escorts do not even register with Hmrc let alone pay tax!

It's a very dangerous and damaging profession.
If those trips abroad ever materialised she could be in mortal danger.
It's a sad indictment on society when women are in this situation

You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do in this day and age. I feel sorry for anyone that has to do these things to get by, but a lot of us are one or two pay days away from full blown poverty.

Hopefully she’ll get the cash, and shut the door on it once she can earn as a nurse.

As pp said, the fact that the government charge people to train to be nurses and then ferry overseas nurses in is disgraceful. Including the 3 years worth of free ward work they get out of them. Twats

Would it affect any DBS checks she has to do?

And, as a student nurse isn't she entitled to a bursary from the NHS?

You say this person is your ‘friend’? Why are you being so judgmental? She’s decided to do it whether you like it or not. Hopefully she’s fully aware of the risks.

How on earth would it affect a Dbs check?

Where are her children whilst she is escorting?

Mmm, I thought this too. Wondering what sort of concerned friend the OP is?

Because women don't need to pay men to get casual sex from them!

Probably the same place they are when she's studying.

I have no idea, which is why I asked.

Being a prostitute doesn't put children in danger.

Frankly I would just leave it.

There are many other options in life that don’t involve becoming an escort (even as a single mother, which I am too), she’s doing it because she wants to and wants the money. Leave her be.

Are you sure?

I remember reading about a primary teacher in the UK that got fired for doing online sex work on the side