My female friend has become an escort

[BeGiddyBiscuit]

Hello all

im just here for some advice

I’m 54 I have a female friend who is 36 , a single mother to to girls

she is/was a student nurse and has just qualified in September

she is now entitled to take a degree but needed to pay £740 to secure the place

she always struggled with money as a single parent and student nurse

she has now told me in that she is now escorting to pay for the course and to make herself financially stable

I am heartbroken and very anxious

obviously I am worried about what she is doing

I was trying different ways to warn her off escorting

I mentioned her nursing career and she told me it didn’t matter as as long she did her escorting and not link it to her job or do it on sick days she would be fine as escorting is legal
is this correct ?

also I told her she would probably have to pay tax. She is registered with adultwork.
she told me she would need to pay tax or declare anything as there were ways around it
is this also correct ?

im trying to find to find ways to discourage her , but failing as she’s made her made her up and she now realises how much money she can make , £2100 for one weekend and weekly trips to Europe for 5000 plus

I feel she is throwing everything away,

Any advice would be appreciated

thx

What happened to your username OP?

Leave her alone. You’re looking fur reasons to frighten her into it doing that. And some posters are supporting you on that.

When the issue is that she is short of money and can’t make ends meet. Nor can she pay for her diploma.
If you truly want to help her,

• help her find ‘easy’ ways to get the money she needs
• contact your/her MP and complain about MW, nurses working during ther studies but having to pay for it etc….
• fight/campaign to ensure fathers are properly funding their child life. Not paying lip service to it
• help her get a loan of the £700 is only thing stopping her just now

You get the picture. Judging her, going all into catastrophe mode ‘she is throwing her life away’, deterring her wo proposing any solutions is just shit tbh.

And btw, I agree there isn’t any easy solution. But then get angry at those who allowed that to happen. Not at the victims like your friend

I imagine those high earners are few and far between. Right now she thinks it’s safe and glamorous and that she’s in control but it won’t be the reality.

How do you know they dont?

They absolutely do! And not just for other men either. 🙂

So she is a qualified nurse but randomly has decided to do a course in international business law instead? Why can't she work as a nurse to save this money? Presumably she has childcare if she is able to take weekends abroad escorting so that can't be a barrier. Also what is this random sum of £740 which she has to pay for the course? If she can't fund that amount, how is she going to pay for the rest of the course? As nursing is now a degree course, presumably she has used her student funding and NHS bursary on that so won't qualify for another student loan. None of this makes much sense really.

She's not going to make any spectacular money from it, yes she'll have been told that sometimes clients will want to take her out for weekends and holidays and get her expensive gifts and she'll make loads of money but thats an exception rather than the usual. She'll make a extra bit of spending money thats about it. Nothing you will say will deter her though, you can try but she may choose to believe the lie for now but she will figure it out for herself.

I'm not sure why you're so strongly trying to force her to do what you think is right. She's an adult capable of making her own decisions. You've made your feelings known; now let it be and just continue to be her friend.

If she thinks she can earn the type of money you state, I can completely understand her decision. If I thought I could make money out of it, I definitely would. Would I want to? No. But options to build true financial security when you're a single parent on a low income with two kids are limited.

So she wants to be a tax avoiding hooker?

£2100 for one weekend and weekly trips to Europe for 5000 plus - yeah right, she'll be lucky to get anywhere near that

I don’t believe money can buy consent. I couldn’t just stand by quietly while I watched my friend do this.

You can’t stop her, but you can step away from the situation.

Yet I remember when a woman started a thread on mumsnet asking if she should use a female prostitute. A lot of women told her to go for it

It's sad she feels she needs to resort to this but if she sees it as the only way to get the money quick enough without going into debt then all you can do is just be supportive.

Tell her to always let you or someone know exactly where she is and obviously don't do it from your own house.

Depends how pretty she is honestly. I gather women can earn a lot in this field.

Two of my uni mates (girls) were strippers during the student years. Might have done stuff on the side, 'after hours', though I do not know that for sure.

One did it to make ends meet, another was from a wealthy family, and did it for validation and to have money to waste on designer gear, etc. She was knockout hot and the money rolled in. This one now has a family and is a CEO. I don't know what happened to the first one.

I also knew two male escorts. Not traditional escorts, they didn't advertise, but each had several much older women on the go. Both charming and very very good looking. One of them did extremely well, was gifted a flat by one of the rich sugarmummies, a car, his uni paid off. He's married and has a family now. Another didn't do well, but that's because he's supremely lazy, was a cocklodger for all his life and now, when his looks started to fade, he's broke and alone.

It's not your business, OP. Would I do it? No, I wouldn't, because I couldn't force myself to. But other people think different. As is their choice.

Something is definitely off about this story. Namely why would your friend put the effort towards qualifying as a nurse as a single mother only to immediately embark on another entirely unrelated course she is now unable to find funds for. There are certain standards of behaviour expected for both nursing and legal professionals, you cannot prostitute yourself and work in either of those professions so both degrees will end up being worthless if she does find the funds for them anyway. And realistically, in her 30s, her new chosen career isn’t going to make her money for very long. She doesn’t sound like a very sensible or rational person to me. Is she a bit vulnerable maybe, hence your concern?

It puts them in danger of not having a mum.

So do many other jobs. Do you think police women shouldn't have children?

If any of my friends told me this I'd be surprised naturally. However I would support my friend, their life their choices. People earn good money good luck to them.

I think a police woman in danger or hurt would have back up and medical assistance and not be found in a suitcase weeks later.

I think a police woman that was killed on duty would see their family financially compensated. I assume if they are in the pension their family would get 3x salary for a start.

Where do you think there has been more deaths of females in the last 50 years? Police officers or prostitution?

Street prostitutes are more in danger certainly. If she's working with an agency and has someone looking out for her she'll be a lot safer.

There is the potential of being sacked for gross misconduct due to bringing the Trust into disrepute. But it’s unlikely to lead to being struck off.

Primary teachers in the UK have been struck off for doing sex work

Nurses too, I don’t know why people seem to think this kind of work is free from the consequences of your actions. By taking on certain registered roles in society you agree to behave in a manner fit for your position.

You do realise that Mumsnet's 8 million users are allowed to hold differing views?

Where is she doing this degree? I've not heard of universities demanding money up front to secure a place?