Guest says I starved her <shock>

[stringsoup]

Had a relative to stay for a few days, she just wanted to eat all time which we did not expect. I had cooked and baked which she ate (way more than us) then she said she wanted to get up in the night as she was so hungry!

She’s the “total narcissist” that you keep your distance from?

Very honestly....
I'd tell her "I want you to be comfortable so think it's best you stay in a hotel."

Youll get grilled on your shitty hosting but my very healthy (weight wise) relatives on the 70s mostly have 2 meals (one is soup or cereal) a day and snacks only on occasion.

I'd say it unlikely they are actually hungry -
assuming they complained to your parent its more likely they are creating drama / bored / looking to put you back in your box or make some lame "powerplay".

I wouldnt indulge it.

I completely agree.

If she woke up in the night 'starving', that's on her and she'll need to pack a few things to snack on.

Some people just have enormous appetites but they'll know that about themselves, so it's down to them to cater for their own midnight 'snack attacks'.

You did all you could.

Either she's being nasty about you on purpose, or possibly meant she wasn't served enough of the foods she wanted. A bit like kids saying they're 'starving' and when pointed towards bread, beans, fruit etc don't want that. Because they mean they wanted more pizza, meat, cakes etc.

Ooooo I'm just a bit under weight wise same height - also seems metabolism is and always has been high. We're also a very active family. The first list would leave us starved and the second list would still leave us a bit peckish, we'd need more fibre and protein still. It's a full time job doing feeds in this household!

When I have guests will usually do eggs plus another protein etc for breakfast and lots of picky bits for lunch

Seriously??

just shows we're all different.

its still hard to know what the portion sizes were like, but even if I ate a very small portion of everything innate list it would be much more food than I'd eat in a day.

Why don't you tell her you've heard about her complaining that you "starved" her last visit, so why is she planning to visit again?

She is just very rude, and not normal.

That's plenty of food, and many adults have a job and just about eat 3 times a day, you added loads of snacks.

If she was that hungry, she could (and should anyway to be polite) have invited you for diner to a local restaurant and order as much as you felt she needed, and she should have bought herself snacks.

Even my kids don't eat that much and that often!

I can't think of anyone who needs toast after pasta for diner? After a day already full of food?

Dont' be upset OP, people will think she's pathetic.

Some people get a bit anxious away from "their" food, and they dwell on it too much. Ask her what treats and snacks she would like you to get in for her, maybe. And don't take anything you hear second-hand too seriously. Your menu sounds lovely to me.

Well next week's visit wouldn't be happening! And when she asks why you tell her you've heard she's been telling people you starved her on her last visit
(alhough why does she even want to visit again if her last visit was so terrible?)

Like PPs said, it all depends on the quantity. No one can start banging on about obesity and no wonder people need fat jabs without that information. And I say that as someone who can and does genuinely go all day on a half-cup measure of special flakes and half a banana.

Unless your portion sizes are teeny tiny, which it doesn't sound like they are, then your cousin is being ridiculous to say she was starved. You offered 3 meals a day plus extras in-between meals. Even if your portions were small that's still plenty of food.

Do you know what your cousin would typically eat, is it different types of meals to the things you prepared, or just much larger portions?

Hmmm... That's really not what people are referring to when they say 'cereal for breakfast', as you must know.

I think you may have hit the nail on the head 👏

When I go to my DMs I feel starved, although I wouldn't say it to her. She eats less than a toddler.

Even if you assumed scrimpily portioned / estimating on the low side.

Breakfast - porridge/granola, greek yog, fruit/ eggs 350 cals
11am - scone/biscuits with coffee 200 cals
Lunch - veg/pulse soup. bread, cheese, salami 350 cals
3pm - scone/biscuits tea 200 cals
Dinner - Spag bol/curry etc 500 cals
Sweet treat, coffee 250 cals
Supper - toast 150 cals

That's at least 2000 cals.
I'm 40 amd 5"3 and gain on more than 1500...

Unless she's as big as a house .... The cousin isnt hungry!!! It's about something else

Insane, as a guest then you should eat what you are given and then go to the shop and buy your own big bag of snacks or whatever. I wouldn't expect three cooked meals or a spread like in an all inclusive hotel.
Hopefully she won't stay again.

so it’s completely changed now! 😆

Breakfast - porridge/granola, greek yog, fruit/ eggs

I can't see how you could turn that into a tiny portion and leave a guest starving

It's ridiculous, do people really imagine the OP would serve an 1/8 of an egg and a teaspoon of granola?😂

I know there's competitive under/ over eating on MN
but the list of food given by the OP is clear that there was plenty. More than most people would eat frankly.

I would not have them back!

Everyone eats slightly differently and finds it more or less difficult at other people's houses. Good guests know that and a) plan to take food with them to cover for that and b) don't complain. So you're not the issue @stringsoup .

PIL have never had sufficient food in so when we go to see them we always do a massive supermarket shop. FIL complains that we've 'bought too much' but it always gets eaten. When we used to go there for Christmas I would make Christmas pudding and take a case of wine (I come from a family that are much more food obsessed, and Christmas is all about the feasting. My first Christmas with the PILs felt puritanical).

At other people's houses at various times I have a) not been offered breakfast (I'm always hungry first thing) b) not been given enough fruit and veg in comparison to how much I normally eat c) not been offered any chocolate (chocaholic) d) had meals at strange times so constantly felt hungry even though the volume was fine (I'm an early riser so want breakfast well before 8am, lunch at 12pm, then am more flexible about dinner but will need a small snack late afternoon). I'd never complain though, I always take a personal supply of chocolate and dried fruit to keep me going.

She sounds like a greedy guts!

I often tell the story of the time we took my late mum to a cottage for a few days. She was used to plain food, so one meal was good quality sausages with mash, veg and gravy. We always eat 'family style' (dishes on table and you help yourself); my mother having eaten one sausage with her accompaniments, my partner offered her the dish to take more, whereupon Mum said "Oh no, I think one's more than enough, don't you?" I obviously dived in and said "No, I don't!" and took more.

Telling the story, I always say "When I was growing up, we always were given two sausages, two fish fingers, etc - I don't know where she's got this 'One is more than enough' nonsense from!"

My thoughts exactly