Why so much hostility toward reasonable adjustments for autistic/ADHD students/workers?

[KeenTaupeDog]

I keep seeing backlash whenever someone with autism/ADHD asks for reasonable adjustments. Things like:
• being accused of cheating or getting “special treatment”
• people assuming you're lying or gaming the system
• resentment for accommodations that simply level the playing field

Why do so many people react this way?
Is it ignorance about what these conditions actually mean?
Envy?
Fear that fairness is “zero-sum”?
Or something deeper around stigma toward invisible disabilities?

Would be interested in honest perspectives — especially from those who’ve witnessed or experienced this dynamic.

If you dont think adhders etc. should be employed if they cant stay in work due to their adhd, then are you happy with them sitting at home and claiming benefits? Or dying of hunger?

Not looking to fight — just trying to understand where this reaction comes from.
Am a apsergers sufferer and people at uni accused me of cheating when they found out i had remote exams

See I do think it is relevant because businesses can alter working practices which then change productivity. If they paid based on productivity then it would disproportionately affect disabled people and it would disincentivise businesses from actually employing disabled people.

Although that situation is unique to me, there are so many similar stories from employed disabled people out there.

You mentioned you and your husband both have ND diagnoses but don't consider yourselves disabled.

Well neither did I until the social scaffolding that I had no idea was around me collapsed and that is what isn't unique about being disabled and working, because your employer can make changes that removes that scaffolding even if you were unaware that scaffolding was there in the first place, thus affecting your productivity which if we paid by productivity rather than NMW, would be unfair to those affected by it's removal and/or absence.

It's a slippery slope. What might work for one person (although from the sounds of it, that young man's mum shouldn't have interfered in the first place) would lead to all sorts of unfair miscategorisation of others, businesses would be all over this like a rash and be on the lookout for any excuse, fair or unfair, to put people's money down when a lot of people are already struggling to manage on what they are paid. Terrible idea, sorry.

I can't agree that it's a terrible idea to allow people who are asking to work for less than minimum wage, feel useful and get socialisation and structure in their lives, and reduce their benefit payments to do that.

While we're here I get completely frustrated with people who are capable of working a full week (I know several) saying "I can't work more than 16 hours or my benefits will be cut".

I think the problem with allowing under the minimum wage in certain circumstances means that some people will exploit it. However, my Gran was a victim of the minimum wage job loss.

When she retired she really struggled mentally, having worked since she was 14yo - she worked three jobs a day from 50s through to when she retired.

So Social Services pointed her in the direction of an initiative. This was a small place that employed people who were unqualified and struggling to find jobs. They did little things, such as coming up to Christmas they filled crackers. The idea of this was that people could come in, get their confidence up and get references and move into full time employment.
It was very successful, and almost everyone that went through got a job within 6 months. Except Gran, who was a supervisor - and absolutely loved it. It changed her from being increasingly depressed to having something to keep her going and a social life.
The jobs weren't well paid - what they were doing wouldn't generate money, and it was run on a not-for profit basis.

When the minimum wage came in, the place closed down, with no alternative for the people. They couldn't afford to pay the people minimum wage. And all those people who were helped had no where to go.

However although that was a great place with a purpose, could they make a distinction between that that was run to genuinely help people, and someone who was exploiting people who didn't have a job? I suspect it would be very hard to do.

Different issue.

And if you’re so convinced your scheme would work, what are your thoughts on how we as a society would prevent its misuse by unscrupulous businesses?

Although tbh, thinking it’d be a good idea for people to be allowed to ask to work for less than minimum wage is pretty depressing and suggests to me you’ve drunk more than a little of the Kool-Aid. It’s about time people started fighting for their rights more in the workplace, not writing Welcome on themselves and lying down in front of the door.

I think those of us who are old and have had one of these conditions (ADHD for me) for a long time feel: a) that we got on with it and other people need to try a bit harder too. The fact that an adjustment would be very helpful doesn’t mean that it’s necessary. Lots of things in life are tough. To some extent, pushing yourself to cope is a good thing, b) the NHS only diagnosed and medicated people with severe ADHD in the past; many of the people getting prescriptions through private doctors have only mild symptoms and don’t need any adjustments at all, especially once they have medication.

I didn't say I was convinced it would work.

I said I couldn't agree that it would be a bad idea for the people who want it.

And if you read my post instead of accusing me of being drunk or on drugs then you would see there was no suggestion in my answer that the request should come from anyone but the person themself.

I can read fine thanks, and I understood your point the first time. But do you really not think unscrupulous employers would take legalisation of paying below min wage to anyone, even to volunteers who are OK with it, as an excuse to look for ways to broaden out the practice of tying productivity to paying less than minimum wage, and try to get away with doing so to other employees against their will? I mean that’s the whole reason the minimum wage is place, as protection for low-paid workers that barely manage on minimum wage as it is.

Ideally all work would be paid in some way or other. But the answer for the young man would have been some sort of paid volunteer scheme, not to class him as an employee. I don’t know if any businesses run paid volunteer schemes but it seems to me that, yes, it would be beneficial. Blurring boundaries around employee rights and pay, however, would almost certainly have wider implications given how badly some employers already treat their staff.

Hope that helps clarify my point. You might want to look up the meaning of ‘drunk the Kool-Aid’, though.

I'm middle-aged and only just beginning to realise I've probably been ND all my life. I agree sometimes we all have to just get on and do the tough stuff. But as far as people who genuinely need adaptations are concerned - all I can say is if I was a business owner and an employee needed accommodations which the business was able to provide, I'd be happy to do it. Accommodations aren't just about making the person comfortable, from the employer's pov they're about getting the best work out of an employee and I think that sometimes gets forgotten on threads like this.

This thread is making me so thankful, though, that I don't personally need accommodations for my physical conditions (yet, touch wood, except to wfh which is the default where I work anyway), and that I'm in a profession where accommodations are relatively doable. I do acknowledge it's not like that everywhere.

No they only diagnosed the most obvious disruptive boys.

My quiet as a mouse dd has severe adhd.

This is a feminist thing, not a severity thing.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow
I don’t understand what you’re disagreeing with. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 8, in the late 1980s, and have been treated by the NHS throughout my life, other than periods abroad. I was not a disruptive boy. In fact, I was rather a quiet child.

I'm probably somewhat guilty of thinking like this at times. I also work in healthcare and it can be difficult to make significant adjustments, in patient facing roles you can't opt out of certain aspects.

I used to push myself to cope, until I couldn't any more. Medication gave me my life and career trajectory back after burning out during Covid. You could say I was "mild" but after burnout and hitting perimenopause, pushing through no longer worked. Not to mention being "sandwich generation" and having parents/grandparents needing care as well as DC.

Nail on the head. The required "reasonable" adjustments should not extend to someone being in a job where they can't actually do fundamental parts of that job. The reasonable adjustments should be to help them do the job, the whole job. So, yes, if a major part of a job involves analysing numbers/maths, then someone with dyscalcula simply can't do the job, however many "reasonable" adjustments are made. Someone who can't speak on the phone can't work in a job requiring extensive phone usage. "Reasonable" adjustments for, say, a heavily mathematical job should be things like specialist keyboards and bigger/higher res screens, etc., not to employ someone who can't actually work with numbers and then expect their colleagues to do most of the work for them!

Similarly, I was in my 40s when I realised I was ND. Up to then, I really struggled. Couldn't make friends, couldn't speak in groups. Probably also partially towards ADHD as although I wasn't in any form disruptive at school, I could never concentrate and my mind was always doing several things at once, couldn't sit and do homework etc. My "issues" with other people meant a very lonely existence for my first few decades as I know I appeared and acted to be very stand-off-ish and generally weird - I knew that's how I appeared to others, but couldn't change how I acted.

It was in my 40's when I started reading about ADHD and ND etc - never really knew it was "a thing" until then. Suddenly things clicked into place. I don't think I'd ever be formally diagnosed with either, but it's a "range/spectrum" and I'd definitely fall towards the lesser end of the range. What it did was shine a light on how I behaved and acted. Didn't change things as I am what I am. But I stopped "pretending" and struggling to be the same as everyone around me. It was a weight off my shoulders. After really getting anxious and stressed about going to social events, work group events, parties, etc., and never enjoying them, I just accepted it was how I was, so stopped trying to "fit in" and slowly became more comfortable in myself, restricted the events, left early etc - much better.

As for work, it was a real light bulb moment. It coincided with the dawn of the internet, email, websites, etc around 2000, so rather than continuing to work for other firms and struggling with the office environment, having no choice as to the work/clients I had to deal with, I gave it up and went self employed, where I chose my own preferred kind of clients, type of work, and more importantly "method" of work. I set it up, not based on social networking of local business groups (something I hated) but as an online service business via online software, email, phone, etc. Turns out there was a demand, many being like minded people who didn't want to have to have meetings or meet potential service providers in networking groups etc. So for the past 20 years, whilst I've had hundreds of clients, I've actually met only a couple of dozen in person, for particular reasons. Massive weight off my mind and reduced stress/anxiety not having to worry about routine client meetings requiring small talk etc - now if a meeting is needed, there's a good reason for the meeting, so we can jump straight in to the subject matter, which is my strength.

You can't (and shouldn't try) to put a round peg in a square hole.

We need to find ways to help ADHD/ND sufferers live/work a normal life - many will be able to do so once the veneer of the "extraverted"/social aspects of life/work are stripped away/

Because, unlike being blind or deaf or being a wheelchair user, Autism and ADHD are abstract and diagnosed anecdotally. Most reasonable adjustments would be things most of the workforce would like (reduced hours, WHF, not being on phones) whereas most of the workforce wouldn’t care for documents in Braile, subtitles and ramps.