Why so much hostility toward reasonable adjustments for autistic/ADHD students/workers?

[KeenTaupeDog]

I keep seeing backlash whenever someone with autism/ADHD asks for reasonable adjustments. Things like:
• being accused of cheating or getting “special treatment”
• people assuming you're lying or gaming the system
• resentment for accommodations that simply level the playing field

Why do so many people react this way?
Is it ignorance about what these conditions actually mean?
Envy?
Fear that fairness is “zero-sum”?
Or something deeper around stigma toward invisible disabilities?

Would be interested in honest perspectives — especially from those who’ve witnessed or experienced this dynamic.

If you dont think adhders etc. should be employed if they cant stay in work due to their adhd, then are you happy with them sitting at home and claiming benefits? Or dying of hunger?

Not looking to fight — just trying to understand where this reaction comes from.
Am a apsergers sufferer and people at uni accused me of cheating when they found out i had remote exams

Call handling keeps coming up and it's not so simple as the team mate handles the calls and the other person does the admin. Not sure what your background is but I have been a call handler and let me tell you it can be grim. Depending on the business you can be getting shouted at all day, asking permission to leave your desk, getting stuck on a call at the end of your shift and basically being treated like a child. The person doing the admin generally gets a more relaxed day, finishes on time and just tends to be treated better. I work in a place where we have a call centre and other teams who are a mixture of calls (on a lesser scale) and admin. The call centre has a massive turnover of staff compared to other areas of the business. So no, getting someone else to take all of the ND persons calls is most definitely NOT the answer

Of course there are reasons, embedded in our social structures. But these "reasons" are excluding more and more people, fueling to the explosion in diagnoses. The current system excludes non - average brains the way the old one excluded women

I agree with this.

I didn't used to be "disabled" I was just someone with an illness that meant I couldn't do much without getting tired and needing to rest, so I worked part time and managed. No big deal.

Then my employer decided they didn't want part timers anymore, so I had to apply for reasonable adjustments, and I needed GP letters and Consultant letters and occupational health assessments and HR involvement and forms and meetings after meetings, and Union involved and tribunal, and eventually I was told by my boss what a burden I would be on the team but oh we suppose we must allow it because of those silly EDI laws...

..and then I could work exactly the same job for the same hours I had done for years, but now I was getting special treatment and everyone was annoyed with me because of it 🙄

I think a lot of the "efficiency savings" made in workplaces 2010 onwards meant that that employers want 150+% from their employees at all times, and the expected "normal range" has got smaller and smaller, so now it unfortunately it excludes almost everyone 😂

I'm very sorry you seem to have been unlucky enough to work in places where "in a lot of cases it’s just people refusing for no real reason."

That's not been my experience. Everywhere I have worked has been very keen to get rid of unnecessary limitations to get the best out of their employees.

Thank you.

I have unfortunately had a lot of experiences with what could perhaps be best described as “petty fiefdoms” within a larger organisation so I’m sure that is colouring my views somewhat.

On the positive side it has taught me a lot about navigating office politics!

Oh lord, plenty of petty fiefdoms in my world as well! But they tend to be about who gets to own a particular part of the business rather than how employees are allowed to do their jobs.

Nailed it.

Exactly. As a system, we've prioritised efficiency to the exclusion of quality, innovation, and human wellbeing.

And we do this so that the savings from the efficiency to go to fill the bank accounts of the billionaires at an ever increasing rate.

Petty fiefdoms are generally established and maintained via infighting, undermining, and nitpicking. It's ND people who are most at risk of bearing the brunt of that type of behaviour.

I think it can feel like "special treatment" even though granted it can be tough living with these conditions which is why you need these measures in the first place.
But people don't see your challenges specifically, they see the benefits, the extra breaks for instance - and that can make people jealous. It can be seen as "unfair" in some eyes being one rule for one and one for another.
Mental health isn't necessarily visible but if it was someone with a physical disability, I'm sure others would be more lenient as it's simply something they can see and emphasise with.

The other thing is how much they "believe" this person to have this condition. I have known people to really play on it, emphasise how bad it is for whatever they want to go in their favour. In genuine people playing the system can make people skeptical about those who are.

it really isn't specifc to ND people you know. It's just that some ND people are just a little too self centred to notice when others are also having challenges.

Where did I say it was specific to NDers? I just said that we were at greater risk. Of course people who don't play clique games are first in the firing line.

You are so determined to prove that education and workplace disadvantage doesn't exist. There are reams of research to prove it does, and that the consequences are real. And no, I'm not doing your homework for you.

Sigh.

You said ND people are at greater risk. That is saying the greater risk is specific to those who are ND.

And no, I have not said there are no workplace or educational disadvantages for some ND people compared to some NT people.

What I am contradicting is the narrative that all NT people have an easy life compared to ND so they should just suck up unfair treatment while ND people have to be treated with kid gloves to even consider working.

Nice of you to assume that NT people "play clique games" and ND people don't though.

IME you are wrong on both counts.

No. Increased risk just means that there is an increased probability for ND people, not that it doesn't happen to NT. Same with the clique games.

On average, NT people DO have a much easier life than ND people. I don't want kid gloves, I just don't want to face an unecessary massive uphill bloody battle for every single thing I do.

Let's go back to the music example. I cannot do desk work without music. I am happy with headphones. They in no way impede communication (and no, I don'thave to regularly answer phones, etc). But every workplace, I've had to beg and justify myself in order to use them, because the NT perception is that listening to music is "slacking off". Multiply this little battle over and over again, and it adds up.

Should probably RTFT but chiming in anyway

I have ADHD but actually the reasonable adjustments.i have at work were more down to my mental illness.

Mine are
1)not working morning shifts (this was primarily due to the fact I was previously on the Max dose of anti psychotics and quite simply couldn't function in a morning-now.its because during my ADHD medication titration my routine was set to start as taking the meds at 10am in prepartion for work-nor starting earlier than 12 enables me to continue the steady routine on which I was titrated on).
2)I work fixed days. This allows me a regular break between shifts to recover mentally and also ample time to.pre.plan.mefocal appointments to avoid wedding time.off work for them
3)no shifts longer than 6 hours. This can down to having an assessment with occupational health (twice now) that determined that mentally I cannot cope.witn hours behind that and I'm working hours beyond that significantly increases the chance I will be off sick and unable to work (please bear I .imd prior to getting this job for 3 1/2 years I was told genuinely.i.may never be able to work again so the fact I can work at ALL is huge to me)
4) no.kore tha one close shift a week. I have previously done far kroe than that but due to the nature of the shift and the increased stress it causes I was after a wetting with occasional health, HR and my area manager agreed I would only do one a week (I could technically have pushed to do none but id isn't feeling that was fair only co workers so agreed to do one a week -in actual fact this week I've had to do 2 to cover sickness but did make my manger aware I can't do 3)
The final one is not to do one aspect of the job (that I struggle with most) between the busiest times of 12-2. That was decided based on a stress risk assessment (if I have to cover for a break at a push I can but they try and avoid it).

The thing is, without those adjustments....I wouldn't still be in this job 12 1/2 years later.

It's only BEAVUSE I have those that I am still.able.to work. And even the due a breakdown last year for a year I was restricted to 1y hours a week by occupational health (thankfully able to pick up.korw hours now-bur equally having not had that restriction I maybe have ended up off sick for much longer and no longer have a job).

And yes before anyone asks I work part time I get paid for part time (and don't claim UC before that also comes up )

Do you not see the parallels with men telling women that they aren't subject to disadvantage in the workplace? Because I faced far greater disadvantage from being ND than I ever did from being female in a traditionally male role.

Ah ok read more of the thread...😳

For those NT people who see ND people with RA and feel they too would benefit and like those RA also....

....do you NEED THEM to do your job?

Cos that's the difference. Whilst we can argue that plenty of NT might benefit from RAs do they actually NEED them in the same way ND/disabled people do? In other words could you still do the job without them? If yes...then you don't NEED them to work but those who do...do NEED them and could very well make the difference between enabling them to work or being unable to
That's the difference. Equality vs equity.

You can treat everyone exactly the same although it may disadvantage some or you can treat people equitably and meet their needs so they are are a level playing field.

There's a difficult middle ground of people who could work with adjustments, but those adjustments aren't reasonable.

I have clusters of seizures that make me unable to function properly for days at a time, once every 4-6 weeks. I get no warning - it just starts, and lasts multiple days. Nowhere is going to hire me with a reasonable adjustment to sick leave that allows for that, so I could get a job, but I'd be sacked within 6 months.

I'm currently retraining completely for a job I'll be able to do freelance, from home, to work around my disability - but that takes time, and I can't just live on nothing during that time.

People wouldn't want to work with me with those sorts of adjustments, but they don't want me claiming benefits. What am I supposed to do?

Honestly, I think a lot of it comes from fear and misunderstanding. People still assume “adjustments” mean “special treatment,” instead of realizing they just level the playing field.
I’ve seen kids (and adults) bloom once someone simply stopped forcing them to fit a mold. It’s crazy how little compassion it actually takes.

I really can't get over the audacity of this post. NT poster informing me that the artificial barriers that made my life hell for years don't exist.

It's just a poster. Not an 'NT' poster. You aren't a different species. For all we know the poster could well be more ND than you and just not know it.

Secondly, the poster expressed sympathy regarding your experience and countered it with their own experience. This is how discussion and debate works. Implying their experience doesn't count the same as yours is incredibly problematic. What would you say if someone belittled your experience on an issue simply because you were ND? Their experience is that workplaces have generally removed most unnecessary practices due to efficiency drives. This is valid.

Imagine a man telling a woman that the sexual harassment that she was experiencing was "just a joke".
Imagine a white person telling a POC that the racism that they experienced wasn't an issue.
Imagine telling the person with continence issues that they "just need to hold it".
NT people cannot see the unnecessary barriers to ND people, because they are not ND.

No, I'm saying your experience is not universal so your sweeping statements about ND and NT are wrong.

Perhaos if you were less confrontational and less convinced that NT people have it easier than you and really, stop saying offensive things like NT people play cliquey games, people would be nicer to you?

Can we have some examples of the reasonable adjustments that people are experiencing hostility about, to give us some context?

No-one's experience is universal. Experience of sex, race, and physical ability isn't universal.

The issues I point out, however, are common experiences for many ND people. Including deliberate social exclusion (and please stop.twisting my words).