Have you ever found something belonging to your parents that made you see them in a different light?

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When I was a teen I found a sex toy in my mum’s drawer. I shouldn’t have been snooping.

It made me think of her differently, and I felt a bit weird about it for a bit.

I’m over it now, I think 🤔

Can I ask a question? Are you a virgin?

Monty python.

Urgh… your poor mum and her poor baby ❤️

I'm half German. My German grandmother always forbade all talk about WW2, so I knew very little about their personal experiences. I was told my grandad did not fight except a few months near the very end, due to the fact he was a master glassblower and he had other important jobs in the war.
When my mother moved house, some years after both my grandparents passed away, she gave me a box of letters my grandparents had written to each other before they got married, and in the early years of their marriage. I only read a few of them so far (the handwriting isn't easy) but from those I discovered my grandad had, in fact, participated in the invasion of Poland right at the start - he served for maybe six months before being taken seriously ill with a stomach complaint and discharged for medical reasons (after which he did indeed work as a glass blower).

I don't judge him for this, but I wish I could have talked to him about what happened, and how he felt about things (both at the time and in hindsight). Their letters give little away, clearly they were checked by third parties and they're very much self-censored (it's all talk about how much they miss each other, and did he get her parcel with sausages and other foodstuffs).

That my lower middle class, caravan owning, law abiding 60 year old parents smoked cannabis to relax at weekends. I found their stash hidden in their drinks cabinet when they went on holiday.

im fairly sure they were swingers as well when I was a kid, some really strange dinner parties with quite a few other neighbour couples. Only dawned on me as an adult what they might have been up to.

i was 😱 and then 😂

I did find out some really sad and shocking stuff about what my mum went through as a child, some she told me, some I found out later after she died, gave me an explanation as to why she was the way she was and it made me feel really sad

Me neither. I am 65 and only two woman have ever mentioned masturbation to me.

@Illegally18 I'm a similar age and have never discussed anything to do with sex with any friends.
I can think of nothing worse when we're out having a nice lunch or coffee.

Lol vibrators have nothing even remotely to do with pornography.

After my mother died and I was going through her papers, and found things that puzzled me, and things that made me admire her all the more. There were charities she'd given to. There were thank-you notes she received. There were papers related to her professional work.

You can save them on CD or USB.

It wouldn’t bother me finding sex toys, I’d just think ‘go mum & dad’, I hope my kids feel the same as I have loads, lol I can’t say there’d be much that would shock me tbh. We all fave skeletons in our closets, or at least most people do.

💐💐💐

I dont! Have no interest in them whatsoever!

Oh grow up 🙄

Sorry but that is wrong on so many levels!

I had to read this a few times. My mum did the same and me and my brother are the result of the affair. It only came to light in recent years and we also have an older sister, who is my half sister/cousin. The one we thought was our dad also had no idea

My friend found naked polaroid photos of her grandparents from the 60s in a shoe box in her grandad's wardrobe. These included grandad wanking, grandma showing her bare bum bent over looking through her legs. Assumed polaroids because in those days Boots would have refused to print them.

Good for them after all it was the swinging 60’s

Oh my God we need the laugh emoji back. This and the ‘eye opening’ pegging comment have made my day.

Of all the available men she chose her husband’s/partner’s brother to have a family with! What is wrong with some people? Where is their moral compass?
I can only imagine how I would feel as a mother to these people.

This was something that happened in real time that when it happened
I was not fazed by but my sister was. Now she thinks differently.

I was 19 ish (a year either way) and when my sister and I came in after a night out we had to stick our heads around ma and pa's door so she knew we were home. Normally he would be snoring and she would be asleep with a book in her hands, first one in would take the book and turn the light out.

One time I opened the door and two heads, my fathers above my mothers and the light was off, turned to me in shock. With hindsight I should have just acted drunk, said "I am home" and shut the door. But I didnt. I said "oh shit, I am really sorry" and then shut the door. So they knew that I knew what they were up to!

Read other posts of mine and you will see that my relationship with my mother was not good, still isnt in many ways, but she was lovely to me for a good couple of weeks after that one!

I wouldn’t say I chat to my friends about their ‘habits’ but we’ve definitely joked about it in passing and I do know for a fact that all my closest friends own vibrators.

Given that you’re a) a man and b) said in another thread yesterday that you don’t ever have sex or relationships, you probably aren’t best placed to know about what women do/own beyond the realms of ‘online pornography’.

They sell vibrators in high street stores like Boots, you know. LoveHoney advertises on ordinary TV. Ann Summers parties were a thing back in the 1980s - they weren’t just selling lingerie, you know. Women’s glossy magazines like Cosmopolitan and Company used to review and recommend them when I was in my teens, and that was before the internet was a thing people had access to. They’ve been the subject of storylines in Sex & The City well over 20 years ago. All my friends - certainly the ones I’m close enough with to have discussed the matter with - own vibrators.

They are very ordinary, mainstream, normal item to own.

No man I’ve ever dated, or had a relationship with, has ever been shocked or surprised to learn that I own one.

You said earlier that you hate sex and anything connected with it, so it’s unsurprising that you avoid talking about it.

But obviously a group of women who do enjoy sex might want to confide in each other now and again, or seek advice, or whatever. I’m glad I’ve always had friends I could trust if I wanted/needed to talk to someone about a sex-related issue.

And you clearly can’t answer simple questions.

Ooh, you should get one. They’re really good.