Your house gets broken into , you can only use a toy in your home to defend yourself , which toy are you choosing? are

[OneUmberJoker]

A tennis ball

Bluetooth voice changing microphone - I could terrify them with my singing and if that doesn’t work whack them with it as it’s pretty heavy and i would love it to get broken

We don't have kids. The only toys are DH's childhood metal cars and one of my childhood stuffed animals, a dog. I suppose I'd distract the burglar with the fluffy toy dog and then pelt them with the metal cars, maybe roll a few underfoot.

The cat's laser mouse toy, I'd aim it at the burglar's chest in the dark, and they'll see it and think I'm going to open fire.
And whilst they're quivering in fear, the cat will have zoomed up their body to pounce at the beam on his toy.

Not many toys here. A tin of Dobble? A dog toy?

Bubble blow liquid, slosh it over the floor in front of the baddy and when he slips and slides down on his arse, hit 'em with junior's toy lacrosse stick!

The dog has a long, cylindrical, bobbly stick thing that we affectionately refer to as “murder toy” as he has a penchant for leaving it it doorways for me to stand on, so I think that would be good enough to fight off anyone!

Rounders bat.

I would beat them with the balance bike. My arm is strong from carrying it around. It’s good and heavy. I think it could do some real damage.

A toy dog with low batteries. It randomly starts barking, but because the battery is low it is a really creepy sound. I almost wet myself when it started at 10.30pm and I was watching tv in the dark. I think I could fool a burglar into thinking the house was possessed by a demon dog...

My son's cricket bat 😁

We've got a couple of rubber snakes that are basically whips.

A squirrel.

We had, many years ago, to fill in a form for preschool where we were asked what DS2 did when angry. I found myself writing ‘he throws Brio trains, unfortunately his aim is very good for a two year old’. So Brio trains.

My recently departed grandads bowls

Light saber! It is by the front door😀

The marble run - the bits are wooden sticks, basically, and the marbles would be good for stalling their progress.

Lego all over the floor

We have no toys now. It will just have to be DHs golf clubs.

Crocodile xylophone. You could knock somes block off with it.

😆 🤣 I was going to suggest this

100 micro machines to skite on and break there necks

Hmm...is this by a hapless petty thief? If so, the dogs' flappy banana might help. Or is it an axe wielding mad man? Because their quattrobone nylon chew toy resembles a shiv right now, so if needs must...

Wolfman figurine from around 1967.

I suspect I'd have more to worry about when DP found out, but at least I'd be able to claim mitigating circumstances in that I didn't remove the 1985 Back to the Future diecast DeLorean from its packaging.

We’ve probably got enough make your own bracelet sets to strangle someone and then tie them up. Decoratively.

Although pogo stick is also an excellent call.

Please be careful with those. I think they should have bright orange markings on them to indicate they're toys. It only takes on person to misinterpret them, ring 999 and you will find yourself surrounded by armed police.