Your house gets broken into , you can only use a toy in your home to defend yourself , which toy are you choosing? are

[OneUmberJoker]

A tennis ball

Exactly...and manual, so they don't hear it vibrating 😆

An original buzz lightyear. Solid as a rock, bloody hurts to get hit in the head with.

Chucky

Full size aluminium baseball bat.

Easy 10yo wooden cricket bat, arsenal of hard balls or his metal base ball bat. Failing that I’ll throw the horrible playmobile toys on the floor, and find one of the toddler’s toys that plays horrible songs!

Or perhaps Bagpuss and crew. They're very resourceful.

Baseball bat in one hand and light sabre in t'other. Knock 'em out and then castrate him.

Bag of gobstopper marbles to fling with force to the skull. 💀 or hockey stick to trip up then bash!

The latest playstation
" If you go away and leave me alone I will give you this lovely new playstation"

A tennis racket, one after the other. Then balls, all sports, any sports, attack mode. Cycling helmets. Loud voice and relentlessness. I refuse to go down quietly.

or chuck the whole lego box over the stairs on the intruder as they come upstairs. Then throw the skateboard at them if I can find it.

and finally the low rugby tackle. Believe me, they will regret ever entering my house.

I suppose I could slap them around the head with my vibrator.

I only have toys for toddler and baby grandchildren, but they have a wooden mallet for whacking balls through holes, so I think I would use that.

Oh good one! I picked something else but I’m switching to that! We have three talking ones and they all have heft!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Beat me to it with Buzz Lightyear as it was my first thought . Alternatively there is a toy workshop for GS here that has a pliers. I could grab their balls and twist hard whilst hitting on the head with hammer and shoving spirit level.up their nose.

No DCs here so it would have to be a cat toy , his squishy light up buzzing ball has nearly had me going arse over tit a few times .

Failing that , the cat , he is a grouchy , mean , sharp clawed ball of fury .

Plastic bow firing arrows with suckers on them. I don't fancy my chances.

(Great thread)

I have online gamers so whipping them with a laptop cable

4 cricket bats in my house.

The catnip toy that our cat keeps in his basket.

Base of the swing ball set -I won't go down easily!

Launch multiple Brio Railway Stations at them.

@SwishMyCape , you need to attach mini glitter bombs to each arrow , no matter how many times the get changed the police will still be able track them down as the will still have glitter stuck to them !

We're a bit beyond actual toys here, but will hobby equipment do? If so, I reckon I could do someone a nasty injury with my walking poles or any of the multitude of outgrown hockey sticks in the porch. That would buy me time whilst my glue gun was heating up...

It’s got to be Lego. Absolutely agonising to step on it (as we all know, let’s face it).