Sorry, long post. I get so upset and furious reading about poor treatment.
I've not yet RTFT, but I'm so sad to read these posts (I'm a nurse). Please guys, if you feel you have have the strength, please write in to PALS and/or see if you can get debriefs. It won't change what happened to you guys, but it might help others or - and I know I'm probably being optimistic here, but what the hell - help to change practice/systems so that they're better for all.
I was lucky, my MWs for when I was having my DCs were lovely, but very overworked/understaffed. I had high risk pregnancies with both (pre eclampsia and oligohydramnios), but safely delivered both times. The one thing that I still get sad about was when I had my first. Ex had left me during pregnancy and I was on my own. During the day, partners/fathers/husbands had open visiting. I wasn't allowed to have a nominated person come sit with me - and on an open ward, I was the only one without someone with me until visiting hours for other visitors came along. I wasn't allowed to close curtains around my bed unless I was BFing. It was bloody hard, me seeing all the other mums with their partners, and me on my own. But I think that was more down to the rules and regs, and not the MWs. I was healthy, my DC was healthy (but very small). But it's scary feeling so vulnerable. Still, I've never forgotten how that made me feel (even though I'm an HCP myself and know the hospital and most of the staff - I've worked here 27yrs!), so I do my best to make sure my patients don't feel like that on my ward.
I'd LIKE to think that no one is insane enough to go into our (my or the MW's) line of work unless they actually cared about their patients, and I wonder what the hell has happened to get them like this. Possibly the systems they work under, I don't know...but even if the shit is hitting the fan across the ward or unit, being kind costs nothing. I do know though, that not for all the money in the world, would I want to be a MW...and I say that working with some of the sickest patients outside of an ITU, in often very difficult and understaffed conditions. I file an incident report/red flag every time my ward is understaffed (or my colleagues are moved to different wards to help out); I do that to protect my colleagues and my patients, so that there is something on record for the big bosses to look at and address. I actually SPEAK to my patients, and their families. I tell them to talk to me if they have any worries/concerns, so that we can help sort things. I tell them to use the call bell so we can help. They get shocked when I wash or toilet them (as "I'm a Sister" - they're surprised that a Sister would do that?!)....but first and foremost, I'm a nurse, I'm there for them and I'll be damned if I sit in an office, when they need help. If we're short, I tell them - so that they understand it might take longer than we want to get to them, but we will be there. If I can't give pain meds right away (either due to needing a second person to sign them out the CD cupboard, or because of how it has been prescribed), I tell them why and make sure I grab someone or tell a doctor to review a prescription. We're not perfect, we're not angels/Florence Nightingale, but it's important to give our best. Often it is as simple as a conversation, giving information so that they feel more empowered, and feeding back an outcome of that conversation. People want to feel safe and feel heard...and they need to be.
Sorry, long rant. TLDR...Please guys, reports those concerns and complaints. Get the debriefs if you feel up to it, so that things can be answered. If it helps to kick in some positive changes, then that can only be a good thing. I'm not a MW, but I would want to know if - God forbid - my patients were treated or felt like this, so something could be sorted.