If you are anti private school are you also anti tutoring?

[WWGD]

Putting aside the obvious - that a tutor is about £2k a year and private school about £25k a year…

My kids are state educated. Many of our friends are surprised by this as they go private, but our objection is political as much as financial. We just don’t believe it is right to buy that level of privilege and opportunity. We’d also rather spend that money on holidays etc.

dd has asked for a tutor in subjects she is struggling with. I have arranged this. But this too is buying privilege and opportunity. Though not the networking and prestige.

I am comfortable with my decisions. I am just wondering whether people who are anti private school for political reasons also think tutoring is beyond the pale?

I was going to put this in aibu but actually am interested in people’s views rather than being flamed.

Fuck me the mental gymnastics on here to justify buying 1 form of privilege whilst railing against another is hilarious.

Utter rank hypocrisy.

I have a group of mum friends who i met at antenatal classes. All our children go to the local state school and have just done GCSE’s. I casually mentioned that we were paying for an English tutor and one looked like I had told her I killed people as a hobby. I guess some people are very judgmental of this.

yes it absolutely does, and good for you that you could afford it. You still haven’t explained why you’re against it though, but no need really. I bet though, that you believe in free speech for all, as long as they align with your own views 😂

My sister is a maths teacher. Should I ask her to move out of their house in case she helps her own children by accident??
Such a load of codswallop on this thread.

I know several wealthy mums who used governesses and private tutors for their kids to the tune of £40-80k a year until they were old enough to attend foreign boarding schools at 10-13. But the funny thing is because they’re privately educated at home & abroad they wouldn’t be discriminated against in anyway in the UK like a child who attended a 20k a year private school in the UK would be.

Fuck me the mental gymnastics on here to justify buying 1 form of privilege whilst railing against another is hilarious.

Utter rank hypocrisy

Why is tutoring the same as private school? I'm not actually against private education but don't see it the same as tutoring. Plenty of dc in private have tutoring on top anyway.

I have no experience of faith schools, as we are an atheist family.

Many faith schools will also have non faith pupils, it depends on number of applicants.

Then there is home schooling. One to one with a possibly brilliant, highly educated parent. Your own super tutor.

I’m not anti-private school, however I do think if you are anti-private school, you should be anti-tutoring as it’s buying a similar privilege at a cheaper price. Lots of the tutoring centres near us do networking events, socials etc and replicate the private school system. There are children who can’t afford tutoring so it really is no different to buying a privilege. There is nothing wrong with it in my opinion but we shouldn’t dress it up as anything other than what it is.

My daughter has a maths tutor. Her maths teachers at school have been terrible and constantly changing. I don’t think I’m buying privilege, but I am buying her the education the state is supposed to provide! I

You know what…who cares. Each to their own. There will always be some people who are more privileged than others. That’s life.

Currently paying for tutoring and will move private in the next 12-18 months as the state system has let us down (SEN).

My children went to private school. The local comp was (at the time) 20% 5 A-C inc Maths and English, with abysmal SEN provision (needed by one of my children).

I wasn't buying them privilege, I was buying them the education the state was supposed to provide.

Do you see a problem with paying for music lessons or swimming lessons? You don’t make the world a better place by banning music lessons or swimming lessons.

The same applies to education/private tuition. Educating your child makes a better society.

You're buying privilege and entrenching the status quo as you're buying out of the current poor system. You've just found what you think is a loophole to justify it.

This. Op you’re a hypocrite.

SuperSugarHigh · Today 19:57
I think the difference is that private schools negatively impact the vast proportion of children whilst disproportionately benefiting a minority - if they didn’t exist, there is no doubt that education would be a much bigger government priority, better funded etc. Standards and opportunities for all children would increase.

As a pp has said, 93% of children go to state schools. Plenty of MPs have children at state schools - why aren’t they doing something?

Well tutoring is VAT exempt, so you benefit from that too. Would you pay tax on it willingly, if required?

Yes . In answer to your question. Unequivocally.

I guess because it’s using money to ‘get ahead’

I think that tutoring is almost worse TBH.

At least if your DC have attended a private school, then it’s out in the open that you have bought them (at least theoretically) a better education. And they will be discriminated against for some opportunities because of it.

Most private schools don’t actually have “network and prestige” - it’s only a handful of the big names that do. And so in fact, because some opportunities are only open to state school pupils, or because some universities have positive discrimination policies towards state candidates, then you could argue that attending a non-prestigious indie is actually detrimental compared to attending a “good” state school.

But, if you have DC tutored, then that bought education privilege is completely hidden. And that strikes me as unfair - the fact that it’s hidden (not the actual tutoring itself).

So yes, if you are against private schools, then IMO you should also be against tutoring.

(I am against neither. You should do whatever you feel is best for your child and I would never criticise anyone for using private schools or tutors. But just don’t say how anti private schools you are whilst paying for a private tutor 🤷‍♀️).

To be fair. You knew you were going to be ‘flamed’ for this. Do you have any other inflammatory topics? Feel like I need to chat about ear piercings of small children and immigration x

if they didn’t exist, there is no doubt that education would be a much bigger government priority, better funded etc. Standards and opportunities for all children would increase.

What’s the logic behind that statement?

Paying for tutoring for your child so she feels more confident and becomes more able in certain subjects isn’t having a detrimental impact on other children, unless you take it to the extreme and extrapolate to her taking the uni place from an untutored child, for example. That’s a stretch though.

Is it really a stretch to think paying to privately to tutor a child, and therefore increasing that child’s chances of getting a highly desired uni place, means taking the place from a non privately tutored child.

Why do you think it’s a stretch?

DS went to an independent school for a while in the primary years. It was convenient way to get him an out of school placement as we'd been part of a system out of UK where they start later. It conflicted a bit with our politics but the more important qualm was that they are 'independent' of the UK curriculum requirements. Ultimately, when we switched at KS2 stage, the tiny local school where we moved to was massively ahead on Maths. I will probably get piled on for saying this, but it was a massive relief that 3 afternoons a week were not wasted on sport which seemed the main focus of Years 3-4 in the Prep School.

As regards tutors, many people have them for exam prep esp for grammar school entrance instead where those still exist. I don't think it does any harm to consolidate skills with the help of a tutor.

YABU to be against private school of you can afford it. Why wouldn't you want your child to have the best possible start in life?

Same principle with all ‘state’ schools being in the same box. Grammars are incomparable in opportunity, compared to a sink comp. Yet both are ‘state’ schools. The gvt know this but if they take grammars out of their state school performance stats, there’d be such outrage they can’t do it.

So if one is going to be against private education, one should also be against Any kind of privilege or selection.

It then gets difficult of course because eg. children having parents still together, and being brought up in a happy supportive family, has much higher privilege and likelihood of being successful, than a child from a single parent family. Where does the privilege judgement end?