Talk to me about recovering from burnout

[CapitanSandy]

If you’ve had burnout how did you recover?

I left my stressful job working in mental health a month ago with nothing else lined up. I worked there for 8 years but in the last year the pressure became unbearable. I would spend my whole week in fight or flight, doing lots of overtime to cover staff who left but weren’t replaced. I had a new manager too who was completely unsupportive.

I’ve been trying to rest, get fresh air, take vitamins do things I enjoy but I still feel drained and on edge quite a bit.

Am I missing anything that will help?

I am sorry to read your thread and hope you receive many helpful replies.

Sleep, which can be difficult, so making sure you have a good and regular habit. Good food. Exercise, preferably outside in daylight. Something to do - small projects (there was a project a day thread on here), reading/watching a film, cooking - basically something to distract the brain. Time spent with gentle friends. Once I felt capable, I did volunteering on a a seasonal project, making sure not to take on too much. Time with a counsellor helped as it was a safe and non-judgmental space and helped me work through things. Time and space and being less judgmental of myself, caring for myself better and with the kindness I’d use for someone else.

I guess if there are any simple daily pleasures and turn them into a special moment for you. Could be time for a tea or coffee, nice soap or shower gel to uplift or soothe, flowers.

Time in nature, noticing your surroundings. I have a favourite path which I visit across the seasons and never tire of it; nature changes with each passing day.

I was signed off work at the beginning of September for 2 months for exhaustion/stress and still don’t feel ‘right’. I have a chronic medical condition, and a bunch of life and work things that just built up until my body/mind just said Stop. My endocrinologist recommended up to 6 months off which I thought was excessive, but I can now see why. After year of pushing myself it’s going to take more than a couple of weeks to recover. Give yourself grace, it will take time. Sending you un-mumsnetty hugs x

Thank you for the kind replies. I always think people will tell me to get a grip! I think work, dealing with a serious illness in the family and my own health taking a bit of a battering everything just felt a bit much.

@mamakoukla I’ll look up the project a day thread. I have things I want to do but I need to get the motivation. Volunteering sounds like a good idea before working again. Good point about counselling too. Maybe something to consider. I could also get outside more.

@Amiable I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling similarly. I can really relate to the moment where your mind and body stay stop. It was so sudden for me one day I was just about managing with everything the next day I was not okay at all. A bit scary really!

I hope your recovery feels complete and you’re able to take as much time as you need.

I also need to stop being on my phone scrolling so much!

I haven't had burn out, but I recently had a very awful job but thankfully it only lasted a really short time.I think what helped me throught it was I had a qigong/ yoga rountine.I think this helped me relax and stay positive.Also cooking nice healthy food fresh veg and cheese baked in oven , something nice to eat and feeling like you are doing kind things for you.
I can imagine it feels very draining if you had to do this job for 8 years.I was feeling a heavy weight on my heart going to my job at the time.
So be nice to yourself sometimes it's not our fault.

It’s going to take longer.

you need to do whatever you want to do during the initial phase (6 weeks ish). If you feel like scrolling do it all day. After the initial phase then start doing healthy things. But if you have an urge to do the healthy things then do them. Get rid of all pressure and expectations. Watch telly.

Yoga does sound so nice unfortunately I’m limited in what I can do physically but I can have a look. Sometimes I do think it was my own fault for getting like this.

i think in the back of my mind I’m worried about wasting time. Although I’m not quite sure why!

I always feel so much better if I can cook and eat reallt fresh and healthy food. I’m not always on the place where I can do this. It’s a bit like exercise: you get the benefits but have to have a certain amount of energy and motivation to reap those benefits. Anything you can do in that space will reap more than proportionate rewards in terms of feeling better. I have been making homemade soup on a Monday and having it several times for lunch during the week. It’s a small thing but reduces the crap I might otherwise consume.

Pilates, and it does say you can do some yoga and qigong moves seated.Taichi, qigong is often done into old age.Don't push yourself just do a tiny bit.Be kind to yourself you've been through something very hard I expect.

You should 'do' nothing. It just takes time. Time, time, some more time.

I defended my PhD in June and it was a horrible five years. Since then, I have been doing nothing. Take walks when I want to, stay on the sofa when I don't. See friends when I want to, be alone when I don't. Etc. It is only the last few weeks that I feel some glimmers of curiosity about the world and interest in life.

Thanks for letting me know. I always wrongly assume exercise is a bit of a no go. I’m hoping that a bit more vitamin D may help me feel less old and creaky!

That sounds really stressful. What you did after is exactly what I feel like doing. I’m glad to hear your interest for life is starting to come back.

Forgot to say in my first post that mornings tend to be the worst time for anxiety. Almost feels like having an adrenaline rush. When I was working I’d be awake most nights at 4/5am and it would start then.

I went through burnout a few years ago, and ended up taking a year off work. Like you, for the first few months I felt even worse and couldn't figure out why. I actually went on a burnout retreat with a group of lovely women working in similar fields, and we were all experienced this. Our conclusion was adrenaline. We'd all been running off adrenaline (and cortisol) for so many years, and as that gradually wore off it made us feel low and exhausted. There was a turning point about three months in when I felt like I was finally starting to make positive hormones again in a healthy way, rather than getting short term dopamine fixes. As everyone else has said, sleep, nature, dancing and being gentle with yourself are key. I took up weight lifting and it was brilliant, and I tried a bunch of new things that gave me boosts of good excitement, like going on rollercoasters for the first time ever. I also went to loads of stand-up shows and laughed as much as I could.

One of the things that happened during burnout was I lost the ability to read fiction. I couldn't concentrate on it or emotionally engage. This also seems to be really common, and I found the key to be reading short and micro fiction. Five minutes a day to start off with.

Good luck, it's really hard.

I had a very similar experience also in mental health @CapitanSandy and resigned without a job to go to!

I did find something else during my notice period and in the end I only had a week between jobs in the end but it has taken a full year to feel proper recovered from the constant stress and anxiety.

I still go back there in my mind and the panic starts again but I know it’s not my problem any longer and I can breathe again.

Since I left I overhauled my diet and joined a gym. I’m almost 4 stone down now and happier and healthier than I have been for many years. I walk much more too, I’m enjoying countryside walks and just taking it easy.

My old job consumed me totally, not sleeping, not able to relax at weekends or evenings, constantly working extra hours to cover. It nearly destroyed me and if I hadn’t left, I probably would have had a complete breakdown. It’s horrible and my best advice is to just give yourself the time that you need, you are worth it.

It’s because you’ve always been so pressured you w not stopped, so your body thinks endless action is normal.

Burnout is the end stage of constant adrenaline. It can take months to reset to something approximating normal, and you will feel quite uncomfortable about it.

You need to remove all expectations and pressures - aside from getting laundry done/cooking, make sure you don’t fill up days. Do what you feel you want to in the moment - telly, reading, painting, go for a walk, etc. And don’t promise anything to anyone.

I really appreciate the kind replies. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve gone through burnout too but it does help to know I’m not alone.

Without being outing staff going above and beyond, including lots of extra hours was seen as very much the norm so I was beginning to question if it was my fault for not coping better.

Sleep and fresh air mainly and maybe set yourself small daily challenges like read a book or go for a swim or gym session, meet a friend. Try not to spend too much time in front of a screen.

I burnt out a few years ago. Originally signed off for two weeks, then six weeks. In the end took three months for me to even function. Everything took a battering. Cleaning my teeth was too much of an effort in the beginning and I am usually obsessive about it. I love reading, couldn't concentrate on a book.
Spent a lot of the first six weeks randomly bursting into tears.
It was horrific. I recovered but now am very mindful of how I spend my time and energy.
I was in a client facing role but the expectations of what was needed and ;ack of support, with an extra slice of workplace bullying was just...

I burned out because of a combination of a toxic workplace and long term health issues.

I was off sick for 2 months and when I came back my manager was so awful that I raised an official grievance. My employer agreed to a financial settlement in the end and like you I left about a month ago.

The first couple of weeks were really hard because I was trying to recover from the stress of going through the grievance and dealing with all that had happened before it. I was too exhausted to do anything.

So I focused on sleeping and eating well and taking it easy and I am feeling a bit better now. I do a weekly Pilates class and did some gentle walks.

I am nowhere near ready to do some serious job hunting or look for another job and my plan is to take time off until Christmas then I will pick things up in the Nw Year.

I am so glad I left that job though. The relief is intense and I am starting to smile. I don't think I realise how much that job was dragging me down and how badly it was affecting my mental and physical health until I finally left.

I left a job 3 months ago. Not diagnosed but fairly sure I was burnt out. My self imposed 3 months off is up & I need to start looking for a job. I don't want to yet. I've not done a lot in my time off. Been going to the gym, walking the dog & pottering around at home mostly. Not done much socially.

One month off is nowhere near enough to recover from burnout in my opinion. Give yourself grace. How long can you afford to be off? Try not to put pressure on yourself to do anything. Just do what feels good. Try to get outdoors in nature if you can. I hope you start to feel better soon.

My DH stopped watching all news and did some exercise every day that got his heart rate up, cycling in his case, but walking would do. It was non negotiable for him and got him out ever6 day. It’s hard to go from the structure of work to nothing. Eating healthy food, fresh food, taking the time to make it to care for yourself is good. Doesn’t have to be complicated, soup, or nice bread cheese and an apple. I found we didn’t realise how bad it had all got till he got better…