Talk to me about recovering from burnout

[CapitanSandy]

If you’ve had burnout how did you recover?

I left my stressful job working in mental health a month ago with nothing else lined up. I worked there for 8 years but in the last year the pressure became unbearable. I would spend my whole week in fight or flight, doing lots of overtime to cover staff who left but weren’t replaced. I had a new manager too who was completely unsupportive.

I’ve been trying to rest, get fresh air, take vitamins do things I enjoy but I still feel drained and on edge quite a bit.

Am I missing anything that will help?

Slow everything right down and set proper boundaries.
Give yourself permission to rest without feeling guilty.

Don't forget when you're able doing a little bit of exercise, even if it's a 5 or 10 minutes walk to begin with.Pilates Qigong very soft exerciise things you can do seated.Lovely to hear you're having some good days.Things will improve!!

The main things that are helping my daughter slowly come out of burnout phase very small increases in the things we do linked to the five ways of wellbeing. There’s a summary on mind here but you adapt the overall concept to the way you live, fresh air, healthy food, move every day however you can manage, try to connect with someone, do something or learn something different - YouTube is great for stuff like teach yourself crochet.
Plus medication. A low dose of sertraline has helped, it’s not a magic pill but does reduce the level of background “noise” anxiety from constant fight v flight feeling to enable the other changes to happen.
Plus Time. These things all take a lot longer than you think. I hope you can slowly find your re-balance and the things that bring you joy into your life again.
www.mind.org.uk/workplace/my-mental-health-at-work/five-ways-to-wellbeing/

6 months on still up and down. It’s taking so much longer than I thought to feel semi normal.

Mornings are generally easier now the anxiety adrenaline has lessened so that’s a plus! Lots of realisations too.

Giving counselling a proper go now.

Glad you checked in Captin Sandy!
Take your time we all run around and expect instant results, just go at your own pace.Glad the adrenaline has lessened.
What did you realise?

Thanks @Tigercrane i think my biggest realisation has been the way I can be a people pleaser and how this impacted the way I was at work. I find so much easier to put other people first. Aware this probably makes me sound like a martyr! Not trying to be haha

You’re right about it taking time.

I also have this problem of.being a people pleaser I am working on it currently as I am in an enviroment where I need to be very assertive, possibly overly so.So I do understand you.It's hard to reprogram yourself I am dpimg it bit by bit

hello I'm in the same boat - I can't even remember what I wrote upthread but I am still recovering I'm utterly exhausted and have also just enquired about counselling as am so stuck and affected by the failure of having to leave my job.

Sorry to hear you’re suffering @octoverwhelmed it’s really hard to go through. How long has it been since you left work? Are you able to get a bit more sleep in while you’re exhausted?

I’ve only had a couple of sessions but I’ve found counselling helpful in reframing thoughts and learning some coping strategies. I’m learning now thar burnout can take a lot longer than you think to recover from. You haven’t failed your body and mind simply had enough.

I hope you find counselling helpful. Keep posting here if it helps too. You’re not alone.

@octoverwhelmed i can really relate to your post, sorry to hear you are still struggling, it’s a tough journey to recovery I think! You certainly haven’t failed, it’s tough and we all have our limits💐

I left my previous job due to burnout 18 months ago and took a pay cut and started another job very quickly. I am still struggling though, feel like I never regained my confidence professionally and a few things that have happened recently have basically led to me falling apart again to a lesser degree and now I’m off with stress and have been referred for counselling. Thankfully I have access to counselling via work so hopefully I won’t have to wait too long.

I'm doing everything right, exercise, lots of time outside, eating well but I'm not sleeping and I feel anxious most of the time. It’s awful and I feel like I’m never going to get back to where I was. Menopause is not helping at all!

It took nine long months after leaving a stressful job in teaching. I walked out one day and never went back, thanks to a sick note.

For me, a big thing was avoiding other people (they were the ones who put a lot of the pressure on and, indeed, when I did see them, they'd be pressuring me to get another job ASAP, because that is what normal adults do). I spent a lot of time hiding away in the attic, where nobody could see what a shameful mess I'd become. I slept a lot, as I hadn't been able to do that properly for a long time. I got back in control with personal hygiene, as I'd virtually given up. I spent a lot of time watching documentaries and knitting, because my hands couldn't keep still, so I created a lot of baby cardigans for charity in that period! I still lived with family, so my mother kept cooking healthy meals for me, which took the stress out of what to eat, and didn't mind when I couldn't eat all of it. I tried anti-depressants, but they were making me ill, so I stopped taking them. On the bright side, slowly, I stopped having panic attacks, vomiting, paranoia, eczema, stress headaches and constantly solidified shoulder and back muscles.

Eventually, I started venturing out on my own a little bit. I would go and do things that didn't require interacting with people (who inevitably asked, "So, what job do you do?" and make me feel like a failure again), so I went swimming and to the pictures. I even learnt to drive on the motorway when I felt a bit braver, sticking to the quieter times and areas, and the left lane.

It gave me a lot of time to reassess my life. I remember lying there thinking, "I did everything that I was told to do, and it didn't make me very happy... so if I try to do what I wanted to do in the first place (i.e. college, not A-Levels and a degree and a job that I didn't want), perhaps I'll be happy". Thankfully, it worked out well in the end!

Good luck with your recovery, OP, and don't rush it because other people tell you to. Take all of the time that you need, because no amount of stress and money is worth your mental health!

Thanks for sharing @TheeNotoriousPIG it’s so reassuring to hear experiences. Well done for recovering I’m glad everything worked out well in the end.

Gosh @TheeNotoriousPIG that resonates so much ", "I did everything that I was told to do, and it didn't make me very happy..."
That is what I am feeling atm - that I thought I was doing everything I was supposed to but it turns out I didn't have the skills.
It's very easy to self diagnose in a lot of ways on the internet but I suspect I have ADHD and am also perimenopausal and juggling teens, aging parents and a dh who has been in and out of work for the last decade. it's bloody hard.

@Doyouthinktheyknow @CapitanSandy thanks for kind words I am working on it all day by day. it's all I can do. and my to do list is VERY small. Shower. Coffee.

I would seriously do very little. Don’t push yourself at all. Going outside once a day for a very short walk round the block. Get some fresh air.

Order those box deliveries for food to try to be healthy for the next few weeks - Planthood is good.

I read the book Wintering by Katherine May and it’s very helpful for explaining what you need to do.

the complete beginners yoga by Adrienne is very gentle.

Buy some nice candles and retreat. Subscribe to Apple TV and binge series like Ted Lasso.

Just hibernate until your body feels better.

I’m burnout and I am going to have to resign. Fortunately I had planned major surgery in January and I have 5 months full pay and I have taken 3 months off and have a month of holiday. I’m back end of April but will have resigned with effect from September. I have July and August off. So realistically I just have May and a June to do and I’m only doing a 4 day week. I feel empty and hollow on many respects my husband has taken early retirement and we have horses and dogs. I can’t ride yet after surgery. So I’m getting my ducks in a row - I’ve set up a book club, joined a knitting club, have drafted up loads of plans for the house and been making local friends. (We moved a year ago to a new house so loads to do). I like the idea of one small thing a day though. We took on an allotment last year thank god and even today we walked down and put some stuff in. Nature is healing. Be kind to yourself.

@octoverwhelmed it sounds like you’re dealing with a lot on top of burnout. Taking it day by day sounds like a good approach. Gently does it.

Love the idea of a book club I also want to start one.Great idea.

I posted on a local WA group asking for anyone that was interested to message me and set up a group chat. The local library sources the books and we pay £6 a month for the loan of the books - we set it up once a half term and meet in a local pub - who is very happy to have us. It’s a win win. Initially I said people number were 10 so it’s less than £1 a month. It’s only been going 2 months admin is minimal. We set dates every school year for the rest of the year. Books - everyone can suggest one and then it is voted on for the next meet. It’s working so far. We have had some people say they want to join and drop out and that’s fine no pressure at all.

Book 25 or Chapter 25 is also looking for local people to set up groups. We wanted to support our local library though!

I’ve also joined a local T’ai chi class and a llgoing to a local WI group. I don’t want to join anything without going a couple of times and I won’t hesitate to leave if there are issues.

A book club sounds like a brilliant idea. Reading really helps switch off for a while.

Reading all these posts is very reassuring. Thank you everyone and I hope Sandy you’re doing ok.
Like you, Sandy, I was in a caring position, a teacher, and I crashed and burned in February. The stress of my job, which I’d been in for 30 years, and life over the past few years, caught up with me and I just couldn’t do it anymore. I had a few weeks off sick and then, after much soul searching, I decided to resign from my job and out myself first. A very scary, but necessary, moment.
it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions from then and after 5 weeks I’m just starting to see a few glimmers of light. The anxiety and brain fog have been the worst symptoms for me. I’ve had numerous medical tests as I also had stomach issues but all have come back clear. I think I was just clutching at straws as to why I felt so bad.
Now Im just starting to begin to feel I can rest without guilt. My sleep has been awful, but that too is slowly getting better. We must put ourselves first, not something natural carers do. I’m slowly re-engaging with activities I used to love but had let slip-walking, reading, taking a bath. Simple things but things which once replenished me and we need to remember we are worthy of these self care activities. I’m also going to counselling which I find very helpful as an outlet to talk without any fear of upsetting anyone.
I'm beginning to realise it took a long time to get like this and so will take time to find a new way too but from reading the other posts we can do it.
Sending you positive vibes

Just started reading Wintering on your recommendation. It certainly resonates with me. The idea of slowing down and giving yourself time is something many of us struggle with. To know others feel the same as I do at the moment (exhausted, overwhelmed) I find very freeing. I love the fact the book and others on here say a shower, a walk and rest is enough. It’s taken me a while to understand this and not feel lazy or guilty. Thank you for the recommendation.

How are you today @CapitanSandy ?

Can you get out in nature at all? I went and pottered around my admittedly new build and small ish garden this morning and did a tiny bit of weeding. It was cold so I wore my heated gillet. Just 15 minutes but it was nice. My GP sees me face to face once every 2-3 weeks and sees like she cares. Have you go a friend that could do similar check in once every 2-3 weeks for ten minutes and you can talk to them.
I’m on new meds that are helping me sleep better. I’m going back to work soon but will resign next week for September so the end is in sight for me. I volunteer every Sunday afternoon it seems like a nice big group at a local place and no one seems really bossy very gentle volunteering. I was worried about this but actually we are all trusted just to nicely get on with it they seem to have a really good social life within the volunteers eg Christmas meal etc

Teaching and other caring and demanding roles are so hard to recover from and find our own identities. So identify is so much of I’m a teacher - we lose a sense of self.

I’m okay thank you thanks for asking @Thegoofylife the sunshine makes going out in the fresh air much more appealing let’s hope it lasts! I’ve been feeling quite flat for the last couple of months but found myself looking forward to an activity I’m doing with a friend this weekend. Hopefully a sign of progress.

Well done for planning on resigning you will feel like a weight has been lifted when it’s all official! I’m glad you’re sleeping better too.

Your volunteering sounds nice it sounds like you are being really proactive in supporting yourself through.