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Original poster

Failed my autism assessment...what now?

112 replies

malificent7 · 14/10/2025 08:35

Always struggled growing up with friendships, work, eating disorders,alchohol,depression etc.
Sdd diagnosed with aitism and I could see myself in her.
Went for my nhs assessment and apparently I am not autistic as I speak well and join in conversations.
But they gave me no other advice/ feedback...just left me hanging.
I mean i might have CPTSD as my mum was violent towards me. What now? So there is no excuse for me being me?

OP posts:
ruethewhirl · 15/10/2025 00:02

FeeFiFoFummy · 14/10/2025 23:41

you seem to think people shouldn't be diagnosed as autistic unless their difficulties are severe.

literally not what I said, but you know that.

Of course there is a spectrum and I have diagnoses in my family. It is a fact though that there is over diagnosed and there are precious snowflakes who need to just get on with life I’m afraid and are not on the spectrum as much as they want to be a bit different.

You’re really not coming off very well on this thread, you know.

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 15/10/2025 00:13

FlatErica · 14/10/2025 20:17

Same here.

Show quote history

I read Foetal alcohol syndrome can also be misdiagnosed as asd / adhd.

johnd2 · 15/10/2025 00:34

To be honest to diagnose you they have to show defecits in social ability, executive function and all the other indicators, but the key part is they have to show that it makes a significant issue on your daily life.
So as a child in rigid inflexible school you might be autistic, but move you to homeschooling and suddenly you're not autistic any more as you don't meet the criteria.
As an adult you have a lifetime of coping strategies/masking, and you have probably arranged your life to me more autism friendly, so maybe they won't diagnose.
I got a double diagnosis, I got anxiety at the same time, which helped with the effect on my life criteria.
I think as an adult the diagnosis doesn't really buy you anything in itself, it just helps your understanding and self acceptance. So if you know you are, then you are.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General health
dizzydizzydizzy · 15/10/2025 00:54

FeeFiFoFummy · 14/10/2025 22:57

No, I think you’ve misunderstood my point and I’m not sure whether that’s deliberate or simply a result of getting carried away with the assumption that people are less considerate of neurodiversity.

Fifty years ago, we lacked a true understanding of neurodiversity (something my own family experienced firsthand). Today, the rapidly growing number of individuals being identified as neurodivergent is concerning. Numerous experts suggest that this trend reflects inaccurate overdiagnosis rather than a genuine increase in neurodevelopmental conditions or population growth.

this is just one article.

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2778451

Edited
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That article is about children and adolescents only. It doesn’t mention adults. It is also only about ADHD.

There are other articles that suggest the opposite. For example this one says that ADHD in children is not systematically over diagnosed:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17709814/

So who know what the truth is! And I expect if we both understood the background properly we would discover that both articles could be right.

i’m guessing the OP is an adult female and it is usually said that girls and women are under diagnosed with both autism and ADHD. The same is true of ethnic minorities.

Evaluating the evidence for and against the overdiagnosis of ADHD - PubMed

Based on the review of prevalence studies and research on the diagnostic process, there does not appear to be sufficient justification for the conclusion that ADHD is systematically overdiagnosed. Yet, this conclusion is generally not reflected in publ...

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17709814/

Solipsis92 · 15/10/2025 04:54

Fibonacci2 · 14/10/2025 23:52

How do you distinguish though? Apparently an autism diagnosis is just as severe for all those on the spectrum. There are no means to distinguish when asking for help. Do you think the same considerations for help should be applied to the autistic woman married with kids holding down a job to the non verbal adult in a care home?

I was once told on here I was very lucky as because my child was so severely disabled he would never recognise he felt different and suffered much less than her. Who held down a job and family but suffered deep anxiety, my child was lucky not to know this. It made cry.

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What an awful thing for her to say to you. 💐 Some people are so self absorbed they think no one elses problems could possibly be as important as their own.

Solipsis92 · 15/10/2025 05:04

dizzydizzydizzy · 15/10/2025 00:54

That article is about children and adolescents only. It doesn’t mention adults. It is also only about ADHD.

There are other articles that suggest the opposite. For example this one says that ADHD in children is not systematically over diagnosed:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17709814/

So who know what the truth is! And I expect if we both understood the background properly we would discover that both articles could be right.

i’m guessing the OP is an adult female and it is usually said that girls and women are under diagnosed with both autism and ADHD. The same is true of ethnic minorities.

Show quote history

Some things are both underdiagnosed and overdiagnosed. I think that's likely the case with Autism and Adhd. https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/09/17/joint-over-and-underdiagnosis/

Joint Over- and Underdiagnosis

Today I had several more terrible lectures on ADHD. In one of them, I was informed that America is medicalizing normal childhood mischief and loading anyone who gets worse than a B+ up with Ritalin…

https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/09/17/joint-over-and-underdiagnosis/

lottiegarbanzo · 15/10/2025 06:57

Surely the important thing is to address the symptoms. If you suffer from depression address your depression - take preventative action, develop awareness of your own state of mind, discover what treatments are available and how to access them.

if you struggle with other things look for ways to address those things.

lottiegarbanzo · 15/10/2025 07:05

The thing is an excuse is not going to make you feel better. Action - therapy, knowledge, tactics, support, beneficial activity - is going to do that.

Similarly, no-one else cares about anyone’s excuses. They notice actions. Is it that you were hoping for adjustments at work? Can you discuss ways of working that would be better for you, regardless of s diagnosis.

Starlight7080 · 15/10/2025 07:34

They are experts . You cant just decide they are wrong.
In the same sense you cant blame all the things you dont like about yourself/life on autism.

It sounds like you need to pay for therapy and go from there.

soupyspoon · 15/10/2025 08:11

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 15/10/2025 00:13

I read Foetal alcohol syndrome can also be misdiagnosed as asd / adhd.

Show quote history

Very much so, its a focus at work at the moment to try to unpick the children that have been misdiagnosed.

prelovedusername · 15/10/2025 08:22

youalright · 14/10/2025 23:18

The overdiagnosing will eventually mean that there will be more ND people then NT people which will mean the NT people will actually become the ND people.

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I’ve long believed that what is “normal” is decided by quite a small group of people for whom everything works perfectly. The rest of us fit around them, with varying degrees of success. For quite a lot of people, managing life is extremely hard when they have to meet expectations about behaviour and emotions that aren’t comfortable or natural to them.

I think there probably are more people genuinely struggling with fitting in with those norms than have ever been acknowledged.

youalright · 15/10/2025 09:01

prelovedusername · 15/10/2025 08:22

I’ve long believed that what is “normal” is decided by quite a small group of people for whom everything works perfectly. The rest of us fit around them, with varying degrees of success. For quite a lot of people, managing life is extremely hard when they have to meet expectations about behaviour and emotions that aren’t comfortable or natural to them.

I think there probably are more people genuinely struggling with fitting in with those norms than have ever been acknowledged.

Show quote history

Absolutely life is incredibly difficult and we are all just winging it. I believe the majority of people are masking i know I do. I may have autism i may not who knows I have no interest in finding out as there is no treatment for it. I think like most people it gets easier as you get older to make your life work for you and not others

Rumpledandcrumpled · 15/10/2025 09:12

Op, you didn’t fail , it isn’t a pass or fail situation, just simply you are not autistic, and they know the different abilities ro function people with autism have.

the question is you seem desperate to have a diagnosis of something, so why?

Lots of people struggle like you do, social awkwardness or social anxiety is very common, as is sadly depression, and alcoholism can be linked to those.

TigerRag · 15/10/2025 09:58

Starlight7080 · 15/10/2025 07:34

They are experts . You cant just decide they are wrong.
In the same sense you cant blame all the things you dont like about yourself/life on autism.

It sounds like you need to pay for therapy and go from there.

Because of course no medical professionals have ever misdiagnosed anything...

Jamesblonde2 · 15/10/2025 10:01

So you don’t have autism. What were you wanting out of being diagnosed with it other than a piece of paper. Just deal with whatever other problems you say you have.

soupyspoon · 15/10/2025 10:02

TigerRag · 15/10/2025 09:58

Because of course no medical professionals have ever misdiagnosed anything...

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Except that this seems to be the general tone now for when someone doesnt get a diagnosis. They are misdiagnosed/wrongly assessed

But when someone does get a diagnosis, thats completely accurate, true, correct etc etc?

RichardOsmansfondueset · 15/10/2025 10:03

Paslane · 14/10/2025 08:58

I was diagnosed autistic as an adult by NHS services in my 30s. To be honest having a diagnosis doesn't give you much support on its own, and a lot of the most helpful support comes from self-help in terms of reading, voluntary groups, online communities anyway. A lot of the additional help I get through the NHS is triggered by MH services (because years of undiagnosed autism caused depression and anxiety), so if you've been affected in that way you'd get help on the basis of MH anyway.
So many people self-diagnose now that there isn't that much value to a medical diagnosis unless it's so severe you need social workers and supported living etc, which it doesn't sound like is the case. So I'd just recognise your own ND and seek out the help that is most useful to you.

This is really good advice.

Foolsgold74 · 15/10/2025 10:09

Hoodlumboodlum · 14/10/2025 19:20

That is really, really unkind.

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It may well be in your opinion but it's true.

thisishowloween · 15/10/2025 10:29

Foolsgold74 · 15/10/2025 10:09

It may well be in your opinion but it's true.

Show quote history

No, it’s just your —incorrect— opinion.

thisishowloween · 15/10/2025 10:33

OP - this isn’t the place to come to talk about autism. Every thread on it turns into a massive debate about how over-diagnosed it is and how you can’t possibly have autism if you can do XYZ.

What I would say is that if you’ve been referred for a diagnosis, there must be enough in your history for your doctor to think it was worth looking at. The fact that you didn’t get diagnosed doesn’t make your history any less valid or your struggles any less challenging.

To be diagnosed with autism you have to show that your life is severely impacted by your condition - only you know if that’s true for you or not.

FuzzyWolf · 23/10/2025 12:13

Depending how you were assessed it could be that it was under DSM-5. If so you will have needed to reach the threshold for all three of section A, at least two of section B, and met the threshold for C, D and E.

You could meet all of section A, B, C and E but not reach the threshold for section D and that would mean you won’t be diagnosed. Section D is whether you are significantly impaired and struggle to function in certain areas.

It’s quite possible that as an adult you have take steps to remove all the things that stop you being able to function well eg perhaps you don’t work or your job is in line with your special interest, you have no need to be sociable or interact with others, your sensory needs are met because of adjustments you have made in your home etc. By doing all of that and not meeting D means you will not be diagnosed as autistic. However, the same person would have been a year earlier if those adjustments hadn’t been in place for them.

I would recommend asking the company for definitive feedback on your scores across the board and see where it was that you didn’t meet the threshold. It could be that the assessor was right and you are not autistic but it could also be that you don’t meet the threshold to be autistic because of the way you live your life.

amibeingaknob · 26/10/2025 10:26

FuzzyWolf · 23/10/2025 12:13

Depending how you were assessed it could be that it was under DSM-5. If so you will have needed to reach the threshold for all three of section A, at least two of section B, and met the threshold for C, D and E.

You could meet all of section A, B, C and E but not reach the threshold for section D and that would mean you won’t be diagnosed. Section D is whether you are significantly impaired and struggle to function in certain areas.

It’s quite possible that as an adult you have take steps to remove all the things that stop you being able to function well eg perhaps you don’t work or your job is in line with your special interest, you have no need to be sociable or interact with others, your sensory needs are met because of adjustments you have made in your home etc. By doing all of that and not meeting D means you will not be diagnosed as autistic. However, the same person would have been a year earlier if those adjustments hadn’t been in place for them.

I would recommend asking the company for definitive feedback on your scores across the board and see where it was that you didn’t meet the threshold. It could be that the assessor was right and you are not autistic but it could also be that you don’t meet the threshold to be autistic because of the way you live your life.

This is why so so many autistic women get missed. Because of masking and coping strategies they present differently. A good provider knows this. A good provider should do ADI-R (or equivalent) plus the ADOS-2, plus several other assessment tools, and an MDT panel review. So many women and girls, for example, don't meet the threshold for autism on the ADOS-2 but we still diagnose them as autistic. Fuzzywolf it really isn't and shouldn't be as simple as what you are stating here. It should be far more involved than that. Unfortunately for many service providers it isn't. Its why Im so proud to be in the service I am in.

ThisWiseBiscuit · 26/10/2025 12:13

Have you had a look at the Coventry Grid interview - you can Google it - it shows the difference and overlap between trauma and autism

CharlieKirkRIP · 26/10/2025 12:54

Rather than be disappointed you don’t have an affliction, shouldn’t you rejoice that the behavioural traits that made you think you are autistic are actually learnt behaviour and can be cured by counselling etc?

thisishowloween · 26/10/2025 12:55

CharlieKirkRIP · 26/10/2025 12:54

Rather than be disappointed you don’t have an affliction, shouldn’t you rejoice that the behavioural traits that made you think you are autistic are actually learnt behaviour and can be cured by counselling etc?

Did you mean to be quite so offensive?

My autism is NOT an "affliction".