Failed my autism assessment...what now?

[malificent7]

Always struggled growing up with friendships, work, eating disorders,alchohol,depression etc.
Sdd diagnosed with aitism and I could see myself in her.
Went for my nhs assessment and apparently I am not autistic as I speak well and join in conversations.
But they gave me no other advice/ feedback...just left me hanging.
I mean i might have CPTSD as my mum was violent towards me. What now? So there is no excuse for me being me?

Didn't realise it was a pass or fail situation. You come across disappointed that you don't have the diagnosis. Maybe you are just a person like many others that struggle with not being perfect. If being autistic is the cause of every struggle from food and alcohol to depression and social struggles. we must all be autistic.

I think if you're autistic but have developed reasonable communication skills you perhaps have to steer the conversation a bit in the assessment. When I attended my DS's assessment he started talking about the niche fiction he enjoys in great detail and I said afterwards that I knew that would do the trick. He laughed and said he realised it would too so continued for longer than he might have otherwise. Doesn't mean he isn't autistic (no neurotypical would speak like he did!) but you have to show the assessor that you are.

Or maybe the assessor thought that your background had caused your issues and not been able to untangle the autism from the trauma. Sometimes that will cause EUPD too.

Or maybe they're so experienced that someone walks through the door and they know instantly.

Your NHS provider may have used the ADOS2 to assess you which has a significant false negative rate for diagnosing autism in women as it was devised based on the autistic male experience. I saved up for a private assessor who used the DISCO assessment tool which has been designed for women, who tend to present differently than men. You might not be able to afford this option but just letting you know that your assessment may have given you a false negative.

Interesting that you say “excuse” for being you. At best, a diagnosis would have been an explanation, never an excuse - you’re not a child. If there are things about yourself that you don’t like and wish didn’t exist, it’s within your gift to make that come to pass. That’s a proactive thing, easy or difficult. If you really want it, excuse or explanation doesn’t come into it. The “why” is irrelevant beyond a cursory understanding of source. The “how” is what matters.

You’re not a passenger in your life. You’re the driver. You can choose to rumble along as you are, or you can choose to do something about it. Nobody can make you do either. It might be very, very difficult, and there may be obstacles. But really, truly, where there’s a will there’s a way. I know what I’m talking about.

It means that you don't have autism. Move on from the idea.

Why is not having autism framed as a "fail"? How odd

An autism assessment isn’t a pass/fail situation. It’s a ‘do you meet the criteria for a diagnosis’ situation.

Not everyone gets support and compassion though. When you have a “label” you understand why you behave the way you do and struggle the way you do. It also enables other people to not hold you to the same standards as they would someone else.

Imagine someone had no sense of smell but they don’t know they have no sense of smell. They feel the air on their nostrils and when people say oh that smells nice they’ve always just nodded along thinking what’s the fuss about smelling things. Now imagine this person is at their friends house, toast is burning in the other room. This person doesn’t smell it. Their friend comes in and says oh my god dont you smell the toast burning?! And the person who hasn’t got a sense of smell is like no I didn’t im sorry. And the friend is cross because the toast is burned and the house stinks of burnt toast.

now imagine that person had a diagnosis. The friend would come in and say Oh my gosh! The toast is burning! and they wouldn’t be cross at the person who didn’t smell it because they have no sense of smell. Why would you be cross with someone who doesn’t have a sense of smell for not smelling something? right?
and the person with no sense of smell would feel bad, but also wouldn’t beat themselves up because they know there’s a reason they couldn’t smell the burning toast.

well that’s what a diagnosis does.

Exactly! I'm puzzled too - were you aspiring to be diagnosed as autistic? Why are you looking for excuses to be you?

’One massive grimace from birth’… that’s a beautiful expression of a horrifying experience and really resonates.
I sometimes get so sad for all the undiagnosed little girls who suffered with the double burden of femaleness and neurodivergence throughout history.

Went for my nhs assessment and apparently I am not autistic as I speak well and join in conversations.

That sounds like bizarre made up nonsense from whoever was doing the assessment. 🤔

What about all the professional academics who are both Autistic and world leaders in their field of expertise?

Of course they are perfectly eloquent when talking about their special interest subjects. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Oh, for fu£&s sake (throws hands up in despair at yet more waste of NHS Time).

what now? when you get your report you can challenge the findings as others have said. another option is to speak to a psychiatrist regarding your traumatic experiences. indeed you may still be diagnosed with autism having learned many coping/masking skills or some of your current struggles might still be the residual effect of trauma.

What do you mean?

Comes to something when its viewed as a failing to be NT

What is all this coming to

That is really, really unkind.

Oh bore off

But it doesn't. It just means that this particular practitioner doesn't think she has. Lots of girls and women fail to get a diagnosis because the "tests" have historically focused on boys' presentation.

A diagnosis isn't about finding the right "excuse for being me". You need the right diagnosis so that you can access the right support. If you have cptsd, it's really important to find that out, because cptsd is treatable with the correct therapy - a misdiagnosis of autism would send you down the wrong path

Grow up.

Im an autism assessor at a female only clinic for this very reason. I hear this all the time. Unfortunately the assessment tools and training are too male-centric and many many women and girls fall through the cracks. I, and my colleagues, consider this a feminist issue!

PM me OP. I am so sorry.

This. It’s sounds like you’re desperate to be labelled autistic. Why does it matter to you so much? What did you need the diagnosis for?

It sounds like your difficulties are mental health problems rather than autism. Ask your GP for a referral to MH team or self refer I'd you can do that in your area.

Whilst this might be a bit….direct…. I think this a lot.

we have gone from underdiagnoses in the 70s to every Tom, Dick and Harry getting a ND diagnosis for this that and the other.

It's not a "label"