Is a man paying for "her" nails really a thing?

[Pebblepoppy]

I don't mean in realtionships with generally shared finances, but in newish relationships.

"A man" should contribute to the costs of her looking the way she needs to for a date?

I've no odea what I've clicked on to get this in my feed, but all of a sudden my FB is full of memes about good/bad men who do/don't pay for nails.

No I wouldn't say so. But after I give birth I was feeling like crap 6 weeks PP and my partner booked me to get my hair and nails done with his cousin. I was really greatful.

@tuvamoodyson In which case she can pay for them herself!

The whole idea makes me feel uncomfortable! I also wouldn’t be happy them paying for the date either. We will each pay for ourselves or I’ll pay thank you. That way I don’t owe them anything.

Exactly - this thread is a good insight into seeing how little we understand of each other's motivations. If I go on a date I imagine the viewers of MAFS watching and saying things like "if she has bought condoms with him he has to have a shag! She sends mixed messages otherwise!" and "She can't say she has the ick! He has now been disrespected!" and remember a big chunk of the UK doesn't seem to understand how backwards that is. Therefore it is highly likely a date who pays for dinner expects sex and might get vocal about it or angry if you don't stick to the script! No thanks. Prepare and plan according to the weakest player in the room.

I'm a straight man and I never notice unless they're those gross claw things.

TW - SA/violence

The issue is when it’s not a gift but a transaction and - as in the circumstances of this post it’s not a relationship but early dating therefore you don’t actually know them - you have no idea what their expectations are in return or how they will react when they don’t get that.
Just because 1000s of woman have safely been on a date where the man has paid, does not mean 100s have not - we have no idea about many of them due to a lack of reporting due to an expectation that nothing can be done anyway or self blame (“I was drunk” “I must have led him on” “I let him pay etc”) or it being an offence to reveal the identity of a SA victim - at least in the uk. Maybe they won’t commit SA, maybe they’ll ‘just’ get violent instead because they aren’t getting what they think they are entitled to after they have paid. Maybe they’ll ‘just’ stalk the victim instead. If it only happens to one woman it is still one woman too many. And whilst most men don’t react that way, some do - and in the situation in the OP, we wouldn’t know the man well enough to know how he might react. So it’s better to be safe.

I asked my DP to describe his ex wife’s wedding dress (nothing weird - I was just testing a theory about straight men) and he described it as ‘long and white’. The only time he notices I'm wearing makeup is when I’m wearing red lipstick. Im pretty sure straight men don’t notice a lot!

@MayaPinion I have a private game where I read the biographies of male sports stars and note their descriptions of their wives’ wedding dresses - it's ‘long white dress’ with an occasional flex to ‘long flowing white dress’. And a general air of these words being extracted painfully by the ghostwriter ‘was it a dress’ ‘was it white’ ‘was it short’ etc.

I said ON AVERAGE. Obviously, it doesn't mean every individual.
I do pay my own way actually.

No need to shout. Glad you do, so don't support the notion of others that don't then maybe?

Well, I'm afraid there was a need to use caps as you'd completely missed my point.

No I hadn't, I just disagreed with you. I didn't use rude shouty caps to make my own point - it's unpleasant.

Well you did miss the point because you went on about how nobody can know how much someone else earns so I had to reiterate that I was talking about averages.

I 'went on' - or I mentioned it once? Mentioned it once. Averages are irrelevant if you are talking about expecting a specific individual to fund your pampering. You're just spoiling for a fight now bringing this up again. I am not interested.

I'm spoiling for a fight? You're the one calling me unpleasant.
I'm going to make one more comment and then leave this. The OP is not about a specific individual.

You randomly restarted this conversation days later. I said that using shouting capitals is unpleasant - I never said you were. Please read my posts properly. No the OP isn't, but the point being that it will always come down to expecting one particular individual to pay - that being my point, which you aren't getting.