Is a man paying for "her" nails really a thing?

[Pebblepoppy]

I don't mean in realtionships with generally shared finances, but in newish relationships.

"A man" should contribute to the costs of her looking the way she needs to for a date?

I've no odea what I've clicked on to get this in my feed, but all of a sudden my FB is full of memes about good/bad men who do/don't pay for nails.

Thanks for explaining, that's why I didn't reply to that post because it made no sense to me. But so many attitudes on this thread don't make sense to me. Why are people being so cheap and regressive? Odd.

Do men really like ‘done’ nails? I think they look hideous! Clean and neat with clear varnish is classy -‘done’ looks cheap and chavvy.

So much judgement against other women on this thread. Just because you don’t like “done” nails doesn’t mean it’s kind or nice or reasonable to judge those with a different opinion.

No - @braceforcorrection doesn’t want to pay for her nails because who does want to pay for things? I’d much rather get gifts! That does not make her cheap.
There is no need to judge her or put her down because her views are different to yours. We really don’t need to try and tear each other down!

There's definitely an aspect of dating culture (not just in the US) where both men and women view women's appearance as a reflection on the man and part of the deal is man pays + woman looks immaculate. If you want, seek or have that kind of dynamic then sure, the man should be paying for your nails. It's an alien concept to me but it definitely exists. It doesn't apply to anyone who doesn't subscribe to that philosophy of relationships.

Facebook is a cesspool now.

Always wanted to use the classic Mumsnet response to express horror: What fresh hell is this?

"who does want to pay for things?"

One of the things I'm most grateful for and proud of is that I have made my way in life sufficient to pay my way.

When I started out in the world women didn't have equal rights or pay and I feel lucky to have lived in an era where things changed (not 100%, but definitely for the better).

Perhaps as a result of this I've always been fierce about earning enough money to cover my own costs. It's bananas to me that any woman would want to be the plaything of the kind of man who wanted her to 'make herself pretty for me little lady' - totally grim.

Maybe im falling for a stereotype, but is it usual for women whom live (and work?) on farms to have their nails done at all?

I didn't think so but actually they were both obviously quite into their appearance. Maybe it's the contrast thing for them of looking "pristine" even though they do manual work? It used to be a sign of class to be pale as it showed you didn't have to work outdoors, so maybe its from the same thought process; covering up clues of manual labour?

Grace being a midwife it made sense she wouldn't have them "done" to talons or be allowed to perhaps.

This is a good explanation I feel.
If a couple is a good fit, then each will already know what they look for in a partner, and so this sort of thing will feel natural to them.

I don’t need to personally enjoy the overly groomed aesthetic to be fine with couples who both play their parts to achieve it for themselves.
Problems arise when the individuals in a couple don’t see eye to eye.

A 'ponce' means an effeminate man. It does not mean a 'cadge' or 'scrounger' which is what I assume you are (wrongly) calling me. As I explained, I do not ask men out (which is moot now anyway, as I'm married!) When I was dating, I was always asked by the man, and he who asks, pays. If I had asked them, I would have offered to pay, but I never would have done. Not because I'm cheap, but because I'm a bit traditional in that way. I wouldn't have proposed to my husband, either.

i'd say 99% of men dont give a flying fuck what your nails look like on a date

A ponce is also a man who lives off a prostitute's earnings but it is also in the dictionary for the more modern meaning of a scrounger.

Oh, I see. I've never heard it used that way, the far more common meaning is camp man.

I clicked on this thinking it was a child support thread...

Not unless he's a sugar daddy!

Men with sisters often do. And it would be seen as a nice thing for her to treat her too. Women love getting their nails done, if they get their nails done usually

oh 100% it is a nice thing to offer to do someone, same way its nice if your other half gets you a nice massage/facial somewhere.

But its not for their benefit, and the OP was saying about when paying for it so that the lady can look good, when in his eyes her nails are irrelevant.

But that isn't always the case as the MAFS series shows - he wanted her nails to look a certain way. When she got them done (she paid for them) she got his initial on her ring finger and he was thrilled and said he loved it because it was just what he liked.

I guess for some men it is important, like feet. Some men obviously have an obsession with trotters other men see as unholy.

I am a lady (well... a woman). I earn my own money and can pay for my own food and drink, thanks.

Someone treating someone else if they earn more/special occasion/whatever is nice once you get to know each other better, but for first dates I would always want to be equal.

I’m thinking this is a class issue, apologies for saying this

Maybe she just likes them for herself 🤷🏼‍♀️

In these sad days of app dating, I get that. I am old enough to remember when people dated just by meeting each other organically. I have never asked a man out in my life. He who asks pays.

That’s so gross and trad wife coded. Having said that 😂I have a deal with my partner that he can go cycling for three hours IF he pays for my monthly BIAB manicure. 💅 we have a three year old and I’m 24 weeks pregnant and still suffering nausea and vomiting so I think a fair arrangement. 😜