Do you enjoy your life?

[rainbowsandcloudyskies]

I’m 53, have a great DH and 3 grown up children (at home/Uni).

I have just realised that I don’t really enjoy my life. Work and work worries take over, then there is a relentless list of stuff to do. I reward myself with food and TV but I’m realising that in reality it’s not enjoyable. I’ve got to the point where I don’t even know what I enjoy anymore.

What parts of your life do you enjoy? Have you purposely built in enjoyable moments into your day?

I would be much happier if I wasn’t doing the job I am but have no idea how to change that situation. My job makes me feel like I am living in the wrong life. I also spend a lot of time anxious and living in fear.

But- I also feel like there is something missing, I’m unfulfilled and if I plan something ‘enjoyable’ it doesn’t hit the spot, which is why I think I’m not even sure what is enjoyable to me.

My life has had times when it’s been really hard but I always try to have fun and be around people, as that gives me energy . My life is actually now mad busy as I’ve bought a house to refurb and am working more . I think times have been harder in the past when I had less purpose . How about setting a fun goal something you gave to be a bit brave to do . I’m 58 and planning holidays and adventures

I do enjoy life. I practice gratitude and meditation and focus on all the small things we take for granted. But I have not always been like this. Magnesium, excercise and mindfulness has helped a lot.

I have thought about a goal or challenge to take me out of my comfort zone. I’m going to think about this a bit more…

Oh crikey yes, I want no drama whatsover. I used to get whipped up into other people's drama, then I'd step back and think what are you doing?? I will do a lot to preserve my peace these days.

Just wanted to say what a lovely thread, feel much better for reading it. Loved all the really good ideas for improving one’s enjoyment of life, I’m especially thinking of the PP who was writing and practicing Buddhism. Hope you find your way to more meaning and enjoyment, OP.

How does one get this kind of life? Asking for a friend

Yes. I work part time, have you he DC at school. I make time for myself, to see friends, gym classes and I have a hobby I really enjoy. I’m sociable and lead in rubbishing a lot of social activities for friends and hobby group.

I like to plan lots of things, nights out, visiting friends and family. We have a touring caravan which is lovely to plan little trips away and something to look forward to.

life has its hard moments, current serious health problems for my DM and other close family having serious family problems and poor mental health but I take joy where I can.

Yes, I unexpectedly love being a mum

I had what they used to call a breakdown about 30 years ago and wanted to seriously end my life. However with support from my amazing Dh and wonderful friends and a good medical team life is fabulous for me and has been for a long time.

I did struggle a bit with the menopause but I had a great doctor who got me back on track.

My boys are both men now and have their own homes but I hear or see them most days and go out hiking or climbing with them, we'll with the eldest one, with the youngest we tend to go to gigs and the theatre. Both of them make me laugh and are kind souls.

Im glad I didn't give up.

The older I get, the harder I find it to be happy or have joy. Life feels like a treadmill of jobs and obligations. I feel the rage constantly. I've lost myself bringing children up. However.....I am trying to do things that are enjoyable, like going for a bike ride and I've started reading again.

Yes I love it a lot. No man (but good exes I'm still friend with), a dog, friends, a nice little flat, good health, good habits, loving family, good career. Nothing flamboyant, but I wouldn't change a thing.

I would describe myself as very content with lots of flashes of true happiness. Since Covid, DH's company has been very successful and we're now mortgage free with lots of investments and savings. We'll never have to worry about money again and neither will our DDs. We are incredibly privileged and I am grateful every day.

But, as many have said, it's the simple things that often bring the most pleasure. I'm now retired and love having the time for a second morning coffee, or reading late into the night because I no longer have to set a 7.00am alarm.

I was quite artistic as a teenager and have rediscovered my love of drawing and have just begun a calligraphy course. I also love thrifting/charity shop trips and collect vintage Denby and studio ceramics for my kitchen dresser and Folio Society books for my bookcases.

We still have a cleaner and a gardener, so without sounding too navel-gazing, I can properly focus on what I actually want to do, not what I have to do. We are Empty Nesters and no longer have our elderly parents, so DH and I are free as birds. Lots of spontaneous weekends away and holidays, sometimes extravagant but often just a pretty AirBnB. Neither of us are excited by designer items and you'll never find me buying Prada or Louboutins or heading to Dubai. But we do eat out most days without ever considering the cost.

But, ultimately my very favourite thing is to spend a lazy morning together, go out for lunch, and spend the afternoon browsing bookshops. Then going back to our beautiful home, to just read a good book or watch a movie before going to bed early with a gorgeous man who loves me.

Dd has popped back from uni which is lovely. But this year can get in the bin. All motivation has gone out of life. I hate all employers and even my job (accountant) which i used to enjoy

Yes, I feel like this too.

It's so common in women where we devote ourselves to our family/others and get used to putting ourselves last. I had some counselling not long ago and in the first session she asked me about my husband and children and what they like - easy, I could answer without thinking. Then she asked me what my favourite things were - I didn't even know. I cried.
But slowly I am doing things for myself and trying to build happy moments into my day. Not there by a long shot but most days I can write in my diary something that I have done that is worthy - to me - to note and it could me making a pie from scratch to going for a walk and taking photos of the changing autumn colours.

You say you like gentle things which is great because you have a starting point.

Look after yourself, you are a special person. No one else is coming.

I absolutely love my life. It's great. I have never been happier than I am at the moment.

I've had a terrible year on paper, diagnosed with MS, have had debilitating symptoms. Diagnosed with ADHD.

But I genuinely enjoy my life, my kids are amazing, I am close with my family. My work is rewarding and I earn well. My cats are a pain in the ass 🤣. I holiday as much as I want. I eat very well, and drink better 😆.

I do believe a lot is down to the mind, I try and enjoy my life and look on the bright side as cliché as that is!

I think it also helps that I am single, and happy being so.

I love my life - but I don’t work, DH is the bread-winner, and our adult kids have flown the nest. I can suit myself.
I exercise, see friends, have a couple of hobbies, clean and cook. I’m totally happy - fulfilled and content.

I enjoy my family, I have a lovely house and live in a nice part of the country. We are not rich but we are comfortable enough not to have to worry so yes I do enjoy my life. However I don’t enjoy working and I would enjoy my life a lot more if I didn’t have to!!

Generally I do enjoy my life and am a similar age.

I have a lovely husband and we do most things together. We are currently doing the house and have already done the garden which I loved doing and seeing all the beautiful flowers, the silkies wandering around with us, the thatch, the summerhouse, the chickens cottage and the solar dandelions which light up at night. Just got a new bathroom installed and today got a new stove for the living room.

Love the cat and the silkies. The cat is always cuddly and cheerful and 1.2 metres of fluff and trills a lot. Daughter is at Oxford and love hearing her tales of rowing, social events, old traditions and knowing she's very happy there. Son is SN but loves climbing our trees, and eats lots from the fruit and veg from the farm I get and loves using rose bath foam and lots of shampoo and conditioner for his long hair. I love food from the local farm, the fresh strawberries, pears, apples and corn on the cob especially. Love swimming and going on spa days. Love having no money worries and no mortgage. Really enjoy travel and have been to one of the world's remotest islands this year and South Africa, France and Isles of Scilly.

Yes mostly I enjoy my life. 65 years old, retired and married for over 40 years. I do build in time for enjoyment and hiking, reading and spending time with friends and family form a large part of that.

Yeah! I love my life!

The key to enjoyment for me is for nothing to be constant. Eg I quite enjoy feeling a bit melancholy and sad sometimes. Because it’s not constant. I like my job, and parenting, because I do neither all the time. I like feeling excited and elated but I wouldn’t enjoy being constantly like that because that would feel manic. My baseline is pretty steady nowadays and the variety holds things stable, in a way!

I also have a super fun job and generally easy and straightforward children, a nice house and great husband. I have an easy deal which makes things easier!

I do like my life, it’s not perfect but I like my job, I’ve got nice colleagues, nice home, teen dd who’s come out of the worst of the teen years…

Im pretty easily pleased though 🙈😂

Enjoy the everyday things. For 2 years, due to circumstances DH and I slept alternate nights downstairs, I will never ever take the joy of sleeping in my own bed every night for granted again and it really isn’t something I would have given a thought to previously.

I’m 60 and single for the last 2 years after the man who was the love of my life and partner for 40+ years left because he didn’t love and hadn’t loved me for years.
I have found happiness and true enjoyment in my life. I’m financially ok, I own an amazing house, I have a job I like and am good at and have lovely colleagues, I discovered I have supportive caring friends, 2 wonderful grown up DCs who really care about me and I live in a stunning location. I’m a bit creeky but general my health is good.
I would not have written this 2 years ago, frankly I wanted to drive my car into an on coming lorry and end the overwhelming pain and sadness I felt. But I now realise I was in a very unhappy relationship one where I had literally lost my identity desperately trying to please a man who didn’t love me.
I now do what I want to do, I enjoy the simple pleasures in life walking my dogs, watching the sunrise, observing the seasons changing, I enjoy the amazing wildlife where I live; in the summer I sit in the garden as dusk falls and watch swallows and swifts flying around then the bats come out, currently I’m loving the autumn colours everywhere winter is very definitely round the corner and our days are very short but I’ve even learnt to love that.. I have for the first time felt free to pursue the things that interest me art culture architecture etc and three times a year go on holiday to London and visit galleries museums etc I come back so alive full of ideas and thoughts. I also make a huge effort to spend time with my DCs (I dont live near to either) I just love seeing them I smile all the time I’m with them.

Overall, yes. I have some health stuff, I’m a carer for my mum and I hate my job with the power of a thousand burning suns.

But I know who I am, what I like and what I don’t like. I’m married to a man I adore, who looks after me and who makes me laugh every single day. I’ve got a wonderful circle of friends who have been there for me whenever I’ve needed them and I have the odd moment with my MiL, but on the whole we’re pretty lucky with our families.

Edited to actually answer your question. We do try to have stuff booked to look forward to. Something lovely each month. And on the months we don’t we probably do a lot more on our hobbies, which both make us feel very relaxed (he’s a golfer, I’m a crafter)