The Victoria Beckham documentary - is this a weird perspective of mine?

[Jessekate]

Just reading about tonight's premiere of VB's documentary and seeing the Beckhams lined up ready to watch it, and all I can think of is how awful it is for the kids (and particularly Harper) having to watch all this.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we shouldn't ever be vulnerable in front of our kids and I know they have to understand the real world etc etc, but it just seems like such a lot for a 14 year old to have to absorb about a parent. So much vulnerability, all the stuff about eating (or lack of), VB being bullied as a child, her low self esteem. I look at my DD and DS (13 and 17) and think how worried they would be to hear all that about me and how anxious and protective it would make them feel, and in turn, how guilty I would feel. I don't think it's something that any amount of material wealth could compensate for. It would have such an impact on them, and not in a good way, I think.

I applaud VB for being so open, but part of me thinks it might have been a documentary to have done when all her kids were older...at least well out of their teens.

I also remember watching the David documentary and they were talking about how footie fans used to shout 'Posh spice takes it up the a*e' and again, all I could think of was....your kids are going to watch this. I was cringing on my sofa!!

I'm late 40s so maybe a bit old fashioned, but to me a lot about parenting is about having very filtered conversations in front of kids, even (or maybe especially) teenagers.

I don't mean to sound sanctimonious, although I probably do, lol! Just interested to hear other viewpoints, as everyone is going on about how amazing the documentary will be, but it can't be an easy watch for everyone in that family.

Lots of articles popping up. How she has a strict gym routine to help with her ED - but isn’t that replacing one disorder with another?

I'm assuming they all regularly see therapists but it feels like VB has a lot going on that would impact her mental health

If she loves him & he serially cheats, it will destroy her. She deserves better. From the glimpses seen in doc she feels unhappy.

Is there a danger the investor bails?

Does she claim to be over the ED? This seemed to be skirted over?

Agree about the possible neurodiversity. I thought it years ago when I saw this interview. Something quite studied /masking about her interactions

Trying to beg approval from those you think have higher status unhealthy re: personal boundaries.

Agree and I think she does this with DB - it’s obvious he is the ‘adored’ in this relationship and she also is very conscious of his public image etc rather than the reality of his core being - a serial cheater, dismissive, egotistical, self serving etc.

His doc was much more interesting. They sailed close to the wind with his cheating stuff (enough to hook people in and at the same time save face), showed the glory of his career and about the disruption of his career moves around the world etc on his family.

Her doc seemed to be settling scores - she was quite victimy - with the bullying press, fashion industry etc which is relevant but IMHO she needs to look closer to home as to who she is a victim of. It also was trying to show this remarkable turnaround, narrative arc of her business finally coming good - but that’s really quite disingenuous given the volume of cash and expertise that had to be drafted in at the last moment.

I also thought it was pushing Harper - trying to launch her ‘career’. I think they are all about the ££££ and the image. Hasn’t DB made record amounts of cash via his brand collabs this year - he just doesn’t stop - although I am shocked how badly he has aged - he doesn’t look fresh but his face looks stuffed with fillers and Botox.

The love of money is the root of all evil.

Agree his doc far more interesting & although I am not a fan I feel he’s grown more personally. VB seems stunted, unsophisticated in ways that matter - although she looks great. Her career sounds like it has come at huge cost to her well being. Interesting to compare with Geri perhaps who seems more intelligent, calculating & perhaps less admirable in some ways. I wanted to see more of real VB.

It's not beyond the realms of possibility that she's always been open with her daughter at various times and she actually is quite prepared.

I agree - she seems to be in denial and masking more and more and ironically the more she masks the more clearly everyone can see the mask. The disappointment, sadness and hurt is seeping from her pores.

Oddly, perhaps, she seemed much happier & relaxed in the DB doc. A better time for her? More comfortable in a supporting role?

I’m curious how he will develop his career because the near nude ads are surely coming to an end? I don’t think he can keep trading off his looks

Yes but nothing close to the scale of VBs. The fact is she is probably supporting her and David’s entire extended family and numerous staff with this aspirational brand she has built. It’s bigger than her now and I imagine she has to grapple with the results of the choices she has made - I can’t imagine the pain of my child not speaking to me. I don’t condone exploiting her children but they were born into a different world with different expectations…Harper doesn’t dress like your average 14 year old but her mum is a world-renowned fashion designer - she was hardly going to rock up to the Netflix premier in her k-pop demon hunters onesie. People make career choices all the time that aren’t in the best interests of their children - I don’t think any of us can guarantee that we’d know where the line is in her position…the monster is fame/the industry, not VB who isn’t really in control

Another little thing that jarred for me was DB seemingly persuading her to give up the fashion line and not be so demanding on herself….but so the more the dropping in ‘have another baby’ line (to a 51 year old) ….. I wondered if this is where he sees VB happiest and I also wonder if the large age gap with Harper was a concession to his infidelity - or her calling time? I don’t know what was going on in their lives prior to this pregnancy?

Is she financially supporting DB or is he, her (?) & she is on hook/under pressure with investors. Any blip in brand or its weaknesses feel ‘on her’.

It worried me for a number of reasons, not least like Jamie Rednapp he might want to express his virility with another baby yet.

With Jamie redknapp the narrative was that he had been dumped so the new wife and kids is his ‘happily ever after’

i dont think DB can separate from VB without looking bad tbh and then having another baby will make him look like a sad mid life crisis man.

i thought it was an interesting comment though because he must know that at her age it’s either impossible or highly unlikely - and i really don’t think they would get good publicity or their kids approval if they used a surrogate

Perhaps not a helpful or kind comment.

I would assume that Harper has heard all these stories from her mum before.

I had an eating disorder for many years starting when I was a teen. I still suffer from an element of disordered eating now. My DD knows all about it. She lives with me and I’ve been this way her entire life so of course she sees everything.

I started to talk to her in detail about my anorexia once she turned 12 as that was the age I stopped eating. I felt it was very important to teach her about these things so she doesn’t make my mistakes. I can only assume that VB is as open with her teenagers as I am with mine.

really? Which bit

I'm a similar age to her and if my DH made that kind of comment I’d find it quite hurtful - like a reminder that that stage of my life is over but how doesn’t have to be.

That's just the style of that interview, watch more with different celebrities and they all answer the same way.

I agree with you @emilyinrutshire

Exactly. It felt like a very veiled dig & another marker of the their power imbalance with him holding all/most of cards & her cap in hand for his millions. Still a gorgeous , virile stud at 50 with a big chicken!

Oh I see - I thought you meant my comment was unkind!

yes I do feel she could come into her own if they split but I guess it’s a hard financial decision

I'm sorry but you don't dress your 14 year old in the equivalent of an expensive silk nightie. It's just wrong.

I like VB's clothes but they are for adults.

That child will get skinnier and skinnier which will be a real shame.

Victoria was way more famous than DB when they first got together - even he acknowledged she was far richer than he was and she was the one who bought their first house ‘Beckingham Palace’
On a shallow level I think he comes across as nice - told her he was doing all the home grown veg etc for her and the kids, suggesting she should just stop and be able to enjoy the fruits of her labour but underneath I think he is a quite a selfish man who only does what benefits him
On the other hand, on a shallow level I think Victoria comes across as quite vacuous - constantly checking her hair and her pose yet - if reports are to be true - underneath she is a very dry witted and funny, clever person who acknowledges her insecurities.
Re putting their kids in the media - don’t agree with that, do any of them do anything worthwhile? Will Harper be anything other than an influencer? I did find it funny when Harper thought the backgrounds with Harper Bazaar on them were for her 😂