The Victoria Beckham documentary - is this a weird perspective of mine?

[Jessekate]

Just reading about tonight's premiere of VB's documentary and seeing the Beckhams lined up ready to watch it, and all I can think of is how awful it is for the kids (and particularly Harper) having to watch all this.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we shouldn't ever be vulnerable in front of our kids and I know they have to understand the real world etc etc, but it just seems like such a lot for a 14 year old to have to absorb about a parent. So much vulnerability, all the stuff about eating (or lack of), VB being bullied as a child, her low self esteem. I look at my DD and DS (13 and 17) and think how worried they would be to hear all that about me and how anxious and protective it would make them feel, and in turn, how guilty I would feel. I don't think it's something that any amount of material wealth could compensate for. It would have such an impact on them, and not in a good way, I think.

I applaud VB for being so open, but part of me thinks it might have been a documentary to have done when all her kids were older...at least well out of their teens.

I also remember watching the David documentary and they were talking about how footie fans used to shout 'Posh spice takes it up the a*e' and again, all I could think of was....your kids are going to watch this. I was cringing on my sofa!!

I'm late 40s so maybe a bit old fashioned, but to me a lot about parenting is about having very filtered conversations in front of kids, even (or maybe especially) teenagers.

I don't mean to sound sanctimonious, although I probably do, lol! Just interested to hear other viewpoints, as everyone is going on about how amazing the documentary will be, but it can't be an easy watch for everyone in that family.

She’s not someone I’m interested in, but I can’t see what is awful about her?

So many assertions that X happened, or that Y is what's going on, or that Z is why they are in the papers all the time.

I've been on MN a while and never before been tempted to come out and say it, but now I will. Reading this thread is a surreal experience for me, because I've had connections to the family for a long time. A very long time indeed. Reading about what others think when you know different but can't say anything is - weird. Probably a fairly common experience for folk who know someone in the public eye though.

I remember what Victoria's mum said to me once - around 20 years ago or something like that. We'd been talking about the dreaded paps and what an insufferable thorn in the side they were. She looked me in the eye and said:
"Fame's not all it's cracked up to be".

Thank you. Do you feel most have misunderstood & been very unfair re:,VB & family? One very powerful takeaway I had from VB in past was a clear boundary of ‘I don’t do negativity’. I hope still case. I feel she’s somehow less strong & confident than was but who knows.

Re: her Mum, courting fame for Harper etc, her/fam’s choice?

I am not at libery to comment on specifics, but yes a huge amount of it is unfair and untrue, and I guess that goes for many celebrities who the tabloids home in on.

The papers make a lot of it up, knowing full well that they won't be sued. Because how can a sleb take every newspaper to court every single day for what amount to trivial remarks taken in isolation? What happens over time though, is that the drip, drip, drip over a number of years will alter the public's perception of the celebrity in question. Journalist makes up a lie using the 'sources close to' about a rift between a couple and uses a photo taken two years before of one of them scowling, and hey presto. Every person who reads it will believe it, because they will look at the pissed-off face in the photo as proof. It is then repeated ad infinitum for years on MN and many other places so everybody thinks it has to be true if they've read it so many times.

That is how the human brain works. If you are told something often enough, in your mind it becomes the unassailable truth. That's how religion works. 🙂

I've had connections to the family for a long time. A very long time indeed

Of course you have.

I do wonder about the accuracy of DB’s alleged infidelities beyond Loos. Tom Bower hints but never states anything on these, unlike Lownie on Yorks. It’s possible there were/are none & it’s all very tiresome conjecture & rumour.

Yes, a connection of upwards of 80 years, and if you don't believe it, then report it to MNHQ and I will confirm to them what the connection is. I'm certainly not announcing it on here. hth.🙂

Have you ever had a story printed about yourself or someone you know in the local paper about something random in your area? If you have, and read it and gone "Er - what??" then you'd know that journalists manage to cock up a basic article with very little effort at all. It's only a small step from there to filling in the blanks with what you think your readers would like the facts to be. I take everything in the media with a large pinch of salt.

Indeed.

Something that speaks very well of VB to me is re: her auto bio where she talks of bullying. She mentions a few friends here who did not partake, a couple of which I once knew. If we judge someone by their friends it speaks of her very good character & integrity.

Sometimes hacks know more than family and friends because they hacked into celebrity’s phones. They probably know an awful lot more than gets printed. I don’t condone it by the way. I think it’s appalling.

Agree but you could say there’s no solid evidence then of any affairs beyond Loos. Lownie is explicit here on Yorks.

Hmmm, well, there are plenty of celebrities who work hard to keep their offspring out of the public eye and themselves for that matter but not the Beckhams
You can bet your bottom dollar that every Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas, Easter they are the first to post snaps of themselves & their kids celebrating said day

I'm sorry but I have very little sympathy for celebrities that court the press, shove their children in front of every camera going and turn their marriage & family life into a brand.
Any issues with fame they have created for themselves. (And been paid handsomely for it too.)

“I remember what Victoria's mum said to me once - around 20 years ago or something like that. We'd been talking about the dreaded paps and what an insufferable thorn in the side they were. She looked me in the eye and said:
"Fame's not all it's cracked up to be".

If that’s all you’ve got - an indirect vague comment from over 20 years ago not from D&V but a family member then I don’t think you can claim any level of insight. Sounds like something someone would say to their hairdresser etc.

Maybe VB should have listened to the opinion of her own mother and protected her little children at that time.

I agree that ‘fame’ was her/their choice but perhaps it was the inevitable consequence of their ambition?

Have you ever been followed by the paparazzi? They know where you live, so they hang around on motorbikes and just wait. They know where your family members live and work, and where your kids go to school. They know which public events you are likely to attend, so they go there in anticipation. They know where the back entrances of big hotels & other venues are. They have a whole network of contacts who work in restaurants, clubs, airports and the like, who get paid for tip-offs about the whereabouts of famous people. They pay particularly well for invented salacious stories and set-ups. They know which plane you just caught (see airport staff above) and have contacts waiting for you at the other end, to follow you to your destination. They hire boats and go out to sea a quarter of a mile, or hire a villa up the street and use their long-range telephotos. They get paid very well by the tabloids for what they provide. They do all that because so many suckers readers avidly buy the papers & magazines so they can lap up sleb gossip. The demand creates the supply, and the supply feeds the demand. If the public wasn't interested, the paps wouldn't bother. They'd just pick another famous name out of the hat and go after them this week. And the next. Ad infinitum.

So when celebrities parade their kids about in public (or whatever else they decide to do), it gives the press what they want up-front, so the slebs don't get as much harassment from them the rest of the time.

I've known Jackie since I was born.

All true but compare and contrast re: other celeb families. The Beckhams have built a ‘brand’ for fame/ego/£££, their children have been promoted to this end well beyond photo opportunities to appease interested press (?)

There are rules around what photos of children the media can publish - if a celeb wants to keep their kid out of the public eye

if they want to post a video to social media walking their kid to school in an identifiable uniform they can also do that

@ThreePears I agree with you about the awful behaviour of the paparazzi and unless you have experienced it, it’s hard to believe what lengths they will go to. It’s also hard to understand what it feels like. I worked for a high profile family for a while. It is no exaggeration to say that that level of scrutiny is traumatising. It’s obvious that it has left VB a damaged person. Anyone who thinks that being rich compensates for that has no understanding of psychology at all. Nobody thrives in that environment.

Given all that, I have sympathy for what VB has gone through in the public eye. And at the same time utterly mystified as to why she would put her children through it. The exposure she has given them has been totally unnecessary. She could have been a successful music star and fashion designer without parading her children at the same time. Many, many big celebrities manage that. They maintain a high profile for themselves but shield their children. Why on earth did VB not do that?

Keen to hear what @ThreePears has to say but I wonder if she wanted to simply set them up for a stellar future career using connections she had in a world she thought glamorous & aspirational? If you have successfully sought fame & fortune would you not want same for children & all associated accolades? It’s largely all gone very well.

She had no guidance or mentor to explain pitfalls. As was said in Netflix Doc were people afraid to challenge her (say ‘no’) so there were no checks & balances? So she persists with Harper. I think Harper could well be personally enthusiastic re: influencing/make-up brand and very successful. She’s only 14 though as yet.

Have the Olivers etc done differently & can claim the moral high ground? It’s an unimaginable life.

@PinkPanther57 What one hears and sees is limited, so I have no opinion to offer, sorry.
My reason for originally posting was to point out that family, friends and acquaintances of famous people do indeed read threads such as this one, and it is quite uncomfortable sometimes, to find out what people think of someone you know.

If you have successfully sought fame & fortune would you not want same for children & all associated accolades? It’s largely all gone very well.

But obviously there are huge pitfalls of being famous - as above the paparazzi, and the speculation and criticism of appearances etc. Even the financial losses of the fashion brand is played out very publicly. It's obviously made VB insecure
They potentially could have had a much lower profile for their children while they were young...while still having money/contacts/ available opportunities for them when they are older.

The fact that they have all been touted as the next big thing (either by the Beckhams, or the press, or both) and kept in the public eye, and somehow expected to have a talent for something, puts loads of pressure on them, and means its all very public if/when a project is underwhelming, or shows up a lack of talent.

Victoria wasnt especially talented at singing or dancing but largely there for the look/personality they had created for her in the band.....and the opportunity to become a fashion designer came about because she was already rich famous, and had contacts in the industry rather than a natural talent.

If you have successfully sought fame & fortune would you not want same for children & all associated accolades? It’s largely all gone very well

@PinkPanther57 I can’t tell if you are serious when you say this? You know the saying ‘money can’t buy happiness?’ It’s a cliche because it’s completely true. In every society since the beginning of time, it’s true. Even if you somehow missed the basic facts about human psychology you would understand this by watching VB talk about her life. She is rigid with the effort of maintaining her ‘perfect’ life. Which is clearly not at all perfect. Her life has ‘gone well’ in the sense that she has had a very high profile for years. But anybody psychologically healthy would tell you they wouldn’t want to be her and they wouldn’t want that life for their children.

Many people in her position come to some insight or self reflection in mid life. Go into therapy, move into a calmer and more peaceful phase. Because that’s what actual winning at life consists of. Being able to understand yourself, be happy and at peace and have family who are free to be who they want to be. VB has none of that.

Yes I can imagine. The Netflix docs etc mean obvs fodder for discussion & I think for the most part people fairly balanced. Some of their decisions are a bit puzzling, contradictory & perplexing given fears etc they’ve openly shared.