Could you cope with twin beds for one night?

[AnnaQuayInTheUk]

Just interested in what people think.

Our DC have grown up and left home, so we have two spare bedrooms. One has a double bed in, and is the room we usually give to guests. The other has twin beds in, both 3'6" beds with a small chest of drawers in between them on which there's a bedside light, a few books etc.

We've just had two sets of friends to stay for the weekend. Couple A arrived on Friday night and have just gone home. They got the double room.

Couple B arrived on Saturday afternoon and went a few hours ago (longer drive) and we put them the twin room. When they've visited before they've been the only couple here so have had the double room. They asked if we could rearrange the furniture so that the two single beds could be pushed together as they "couldn't sleep apart". So we ended up having to empty the chest of drawers, lug everything around and reassemble it on Saturday only to do it all in reverse this afternoon.

We've all known each other since uni, all been married for 30+ years and I was a bit surprised that they couldn't sleep with 3ft gap between them for one night. But then I decided maybe I was the exception.

So, for those of you who've been married/together for years, could you bear to sleep in the same room but not the same bed as your partner for one night, or would you have to rearrange all the furniture so that you could snuggle up together?

I doubt it, they've all been friends for 30+ years, if there were feelings like this there would have been signs by now.

It’s fine- I prefer it, except sometimes I feel cold as I’m used to his body heat.

I'd be delighted with break from not being shoved to the edge of the bed & having the covers yanked off me all night or being woken up with him snoring in my face for a change 😆
I wouldn't have moved the furniture, I'd have let them do it on the understanding that they put it back as it was before undamaged

of course they can manage sleeping in seperate beds.,you already wrote that they travel a lot for work. I assume that means they travel alone for work, not together.
I know you keep writing that they are lovely people, but they were being absolute assholes about the bed set-up. Such entitled behaviour.

Ridiculous! I’d go so far as to say I think separate bedrooms are the way to go! 😆 your friends are strange and a little entitled, the beds were three feet apart not separated by a vast chasm! 🙄 some folk are so clingy and needy..I’d never inconvenience my host by demanding that, clearly no self awareness and I’d think long and hard before having them as overnight guests again!

Honestly, they were being ridiculous

That is ridiculous I wouldn’t have entertained that

We were away recently with another couple. One night we had the double and another night we had the twin beds- someone hadn't slept comfortably so we switched. Last year, we went away and had twin beds and pushed them together cos moving them was fairly easy. I don't think it makes much difference personally. I'd rather twins or pushing the twins together cos it's bigger than a double so more space.

What?! Grown adults who can't bear to spend a single night two feet apart?

I think I would have just laughed at them. Unless they were actually on honeymoon they are being ridiculous.

My only issue with twin beds is I'm a bit too far from DH to kick him when he starts snoring in the middle of the night. Throwing a shoe seems to do the trick....

This is why I hate singles tbh. I never sleep well as I’m worrying about turning over and falling out! In an air bnb DP and I have separate rooms due to both being bad at sharing, but I always let him have the double room as he’s tall, and i push 2 singles together. If I couldn’t push them together I would accept his offer of the double room.

Twin beds is my dream, no complaints from me 😂

We were used to single beds before we lived together as we went on loads of foreign holidays with two singles. It was very strange for us when we started sharing a double bed. For the past 25 years, not only have we not slept in the same bed, we don't even sleep in the same bedroom - we have separate rooms now, a double bed each. That started because DH snored loudly all night due to weight gain, and then when he lost his weight, we had a young child who didn't sleep through the night, so it was crazy for us both to have a disturbed night's sleep, hence sleeping apart. Now, we don't "need" to be in separate rooms, but it's just a habit. We always start in one bed to "read" (and anything else we may fancy doing before sleep!!!) but then go our separate ways for sleeping. Staying with friends and having separate beds wouldn't bother us at all - even better if they had separate rooms!!!

Some of the comments on this thread...... 😳

To answer your question OP, no, I don't think it's an indication that you and your DH aren't close. As this thread shows, the majority of couples are happy to sleep in twin beds. It's no reflection on your relationship.

But where I think some people are being pretty judgemental and rude is that some people just sleep better with a familiar and comfortable sleeping arrangement. And for some, that means cuddling up with their partner in bed. That's not "pathetic".

FWIW, I don't like being touched when I sleep - we have a superking bed so I get my own space. So I'm not defending my own preferences - pushing twin beds together sounds like you'd spend all night falling down the crack! But I think it's quite sweet that a long-established couple would want this.

I also think OP, that given your robust defence of the couple and your glowing description, that it's testament to your friendship that she felt she could ask. Maybe elsewhere they wouldn't have said a word, but as you are such good friends, she felt comfortable enough to ask.

You were lovely for accommodating the request, and even lovelier to help her. But don't worry for a second about the fact that you don't feel the same need for proximity as your friend - lots of people wouldn't. Both things are OK!

Quite! And once you have actually fallen out, the fear never leaves you 🤣

They were being ridiculous and dramatic. I've had friends (3 couples) have to sleep in separate rooms before as had 6 people staying and one friends husband had to sleep on a sofa whilst she was on a single upstairs!
We are late 20s though so not sure if maybe I view it differently.

It's not. But I think some people are massively insecure. See also middle aged couples who walk along holding hands. Surely you don't need to advertise your coupledom at that age - you're not a teenager who's desperate to show the world that someone fancies them.

DH and I used to go to a B&B in Scotland where the twin room was the nicest so we slept there for a week each time!

I hate a single bed. I'm not supposed to sleep in one because I have a back issue but that aside it makes me feel like a child.

I would never ask someone to move beds like they did
Happy to sleep in a single

Married for 43 years (yes, to the same husband) and we wouldn't mind at all! We share our bed at home, and try to book double bed when travelling, but it has happened we got a twin and we absolutely survived. Also, we would never ask to rearrange the furniture, rather be gratefull to be able to spend the night instead of driving home late in the evening. I think it's rather rude to ask for an instant remoddeling of the room.

I think I would have smiled sweetly at the twin bed friends and said "feel free to push them together if you prefer."

Having said that, I have met couples who have never spent a night apart in 50, 60, counting years. Mountains are moved to make sure illness or injury don't separate them, because to do so might conceivably finish them off.

It wouldn't bother me, but DH is quite large, so I don't think he would have a comfy night in a single bed. But we would certainly suck it up, no way would we be rearranging furniture!

That's the stupidest thing I ever heard, I'm embarrassed for them 😂

You might think they are lovely OP, but that's a pretty rude thing for her to have asked. And it does sound as though they were making a point.

Been together decades and it wouldn't have bothered us at all.

I would be OK with it but DH would have a grumble (aaah sweetie still loves waking up next to me after 33 years of marriage 😍).
We've been on hotel stays where he has asked to change to a double-bedded room, but for one night as a guest at someone's house, he certainly would not make you rearrange your furniture :)

Couldn't care less- in some ways it really is the best of both worlds as we're in the same room but I have my own sleep space