If you have a child with autism that can be violent..

[Colouroutsidethelines]

How do you feel when you find out they have attacked school staff? How do you respond?

I am a teaching assistant. I was playing in the garden with another staff member and four children who all have an autism or ADHD diagnosis.

The child I was playing with in the construction area is in year 4 and very articulate. We were conversing nicely, talking about his favourite cars. He then got up and walked off and before I stood up, he had gone behind me, picked up a large wooden log and cracked me hard over the head with it.

It caught me completely off guard and I did cry with the pain as I ran inside to seek first aid.

Curious to how you would respond if this was your child.

What is the no in relation to?

I have not posted that the school is adequately staffed or funded or that the OP shouldn’t speak to the school.

It sounds like she clarified later that they actually don't have a formal diagnosis which I missed but the very first OP says otherwise.

''I am a teaching assistant. I was playing in the garden with another staff member and four children who all have an autism or ADHD diagnosis.''

And it was her clarification that my comment pertained to

That I wasn’t thinking you were someone else.

That the comments I am making around adequate staffing and inadequate SLT are referring to OP saying they’re understaffed when they’re also evidently not following sensible procedures to change that.

I’m not confusing you with someone else, I’m referring to the OP because… that’s what the thread is about.

Obviously laughter isn’t appropriate but perhaps a reflex reaction. I laugh sometimes at stupid times when my DC have done something awful. DS once had an accident at nursery school tried to clean himself and somehow covered the room in poo. I laughed when I was told because I was mortified. I bought the poor janitor wine and chocolates as it had already been cleaned. 12 years ago still mortified by my reaction.

That's disgraceful. I'd apologise and ask how you were. The parent reacting like that is sending totally the wrong message to the child and doing him a disservice. Not to mention she was nasty to you.

Fair enough. Like I said, I missed that initially.

So if you were responding to the OP, why did you quote me? Your comments about blame and staffing without EHCPs had nothing to do with my posts.

The school should be applying for an EHCP as soon as possible. They should be applying for extra funding for him (and the other pupils probably) and the Local Authority will have to pay for more spaces in the specialist schools.

I'm afraid schools are renowned for diverting funds away from the SEND children wherever they can towards those who are more able.

The school should be carrying out a risk assessment urgently and implementing ways to mitigate the risks - this may mean a higher staff to pupil ratio or a 1:1 for this child but you cannot go to work without these risks being mitigated.

I'm very much hoping that the parents reaction was due to embarrassment or shock but its possible that they see this behaviour at home all the time and have been asking for support for years. Not that that gives them a reason to laugh in your face!

They don't expect this because they'd react in the same way, laugh at you instead of asking how you were. It's disgraceful and doing the child a disservice.

Hope you are OK OP

I was replying to your response to me, which said;

EHCPs, and the SEP within, are based on needs, not diagnosis. Parents may have to appeal but it is possible to secure an EHCP and 1:1 or 2:1 without a diagnosis.

In truth, I can’t always be bothered having 3 separate conversations at one time. Easier to answer two people at once.

I was agreeing that whilst they’re based on needs, the lack of diagnosis and EHCP is going to make it very difficult to get funding to better the staffing situation. There’s evidently less evidence to show why the LA should grant that funding.

Our son is both in specialist provision and has a 1:1, the level of hoop jumping that required was (and remains) ridiculous. Children who have neither a diagnosis or an EHCP are going to be much less likely to receive the support they need quickly.

Surely any normal parent would be upset and concerned, both for the teacher who has been hurt and also worried about the seriousness of their child’s needs, whether the child’s needs are currently being met and what that means for the future for their child?

I know what I said, which is why I was confused about why in response to my posts you mentioned things I didn’t say.

Yes, an EHCP is the way to go. Again, I didn’t say otherwise. But that doesn’t mean a diagnosis is needed for that. Or that high needs top up funding can’t be secured beforehand - LAs who claim to have a blanket policy saying otherwise are acting unlawfully and can be challenged.

It’s quite evident the school are doing neither of those things.

It can’t meet the needs of those students, because at present it doesn’t appear to be trying to.

I agree, and I haven’t said otherwise.

The parent who laughed in your face was being vile. I had a similar incident with a child/parent when I worked in a school. A child (in mainstream) assaulted a TA, she needed medical treatment. When the mother was called in to take her child home she was abusive and shouted and swore at me and another member of staff and said it was the TAs fault. I would expect a parent to be apologetic and understanding which to be fair, most parents were in other (sadly many) situations where their child had lashed out. This mother's reaction and how it made me feel after over a year of the worst stress imaginable just trying to do my job was the catalyst in me leaving the profession.

'How he was in the position to do that, and who was meant to be supervising him when it happened.'

More victim blaming on the OP. He did it because he was violent, and is a violent, unsafe child. End of story.

The OP and one other were supervising the children outside. He was in the position to assault the OP because he's violent. If it wasn't a log it would have been something else.

@Colouroutsidethelines I agree with this. As a parent I would also feel very sorry that my child had done this, be concerned for the staff member's welfare but want to understand why he did it. Was there a trigger of some sort? What consequence /intervention is needed to reduce the possibility of the behaviour happening again assuming the identified risk factors are addressed?

By the way @SleeplessInWhereverim not saying you're victim blaming the OP per say - but if a parent actually said to the OP 'who was supervising / why did he do it' when they know he's a violent child and then laughed in OPs face, that would be awful victim blaming and not ok at all. Those parents need a hard look at themselves.

I am so sorry this happened. It is such a difficult job, and extra hard when this happens.

I support schools with behaviour. Right now I am only in SEN schools, and they are lovely places. They have less money than before, but they have skills and support. What we see in the mainstream units is alarming. They are less funded, not supported, and sadly as they do their best with limited resources, the students are developing some very challenging behaviours as they also cope for limited space, attention, and care.

It’s as bad as I’ve seen it in 30 years. I just had a proposal to support a unit rejected because there is no money.

Meanwhile, placements break down eventually and the students are sent to very expensive private, residential schools owned by private equity companies. The LA money pays for these placements, and has no money left to prevent it from happening to the next cohort.

Children aren’t just violent. There is always a “why,” and there are ways to manage it.

My child bites when he’s in crisis. Why would he be in crisis, who was supporting at the time, and how did he get close enough to someone to do that. What strategies are we using to improve his behaviour. How is that being done in school.

I would have absolutely loads of questions. None of which excuse it happening, but all of which prevent it happening again.

OP has been put in an incredibly difficult position by her leadership team, and the child isn’t receiving the level of support he should because of that too.

Sorry, to clarify, these children don’t have a formal diagnosis yet. All are in the process.

My DS who has ASD once attacked his Year 1 teacher, punched her and threw chairs and all sorts. I was absolutely mortified (I’m a teacher myself), apologised and I sanctioned my son by removing all computer games time for the weekend (it was a Friday). On the Monday I took the morning off work to take him to school, DS handed over an apology flower craft he had made for his teacher with me, and I apologised again in person.

You sound like a wonderful person x

OP, I’m sorry you were harmed but you’re focusing your hurt on the wrong person. A parent isn’t responsible for their child’s behaviour when they’re at school.

This is firmly the responsibility of your shitty management to sort out and find a solution. It’s simply not good enough for them to shrug shoulders and say ‘we have no money’ for extra staff.

If they’re being paid to lead the school, then do the bloody job properly!

Are you in a Union?
You need support from your Union rep because all the time you’re carrying on muddling through, your taking unnecessary risks and these children are not receiving an adequate education. 🤷🏻‍♀️