How do you manage work and the school run in secondary?

[GonkSocks]

If you and your DP both work 9-5 type office jobs with a commute, how do you split the school run, or just being at home for you kids, if your kids are in secondary school?

For context, recently DH and I have both been hybrid, where he's required 3 office days and I'm required 2, so it was easy to just have each of us do both runs on the days we were home. My office is switching to 3 days in office soon, so that won't work anymore.

DS just started Y7, so wraparound care seems to have disappeared.

He's able to get himself to and from school on the bus, but could use someone around in the morning to make sure he's getting out the door, and I'm not sure I feel great about leaving him alone for hours in the afternoon.

I think we'll manage by having DH go to the office a bit late one day, and me come home a bit early that same day, but I'm just wondering, what other things do you all do in this situation?

At 12 they should be able to manage?
Lots of year 7s get signed up for a load of clubs etc and have a bus ride or longer walk to school, so they only get in at 4.30 and should be fine for an hour or two before someone gets home.

I didn't do a school run when my kids were in secondary.

What time will you actually be out. My kids school day is 8.30-3... but school is actually open 7.45-5pm. Theres now wrap around care, but the library is open for homework after school and the canteen serves breakfast in the morning.

(My nephews are 11 & 12 and both just get up and out of a morning, one gets an 8am bus, the other walks 20 mins. They get home 4ish if they haven't had clubs or gone to library/dawdled with friends). They both have one day a week where they start the dinner to help out.

At secondary they usually do their own school run.

some secondaries have breakfast clubs and most are happy for kids to do homework in the library until later.

you will get lots of ‘shouldn’t need it’ at that age remarks. They are still kids, we split it on a week by week basis. Sometimes leaving work to check in and then go back, other times work from home in the afternoon. We are lucky that we are flexible like that. There are days where fending for oneself is required but we do try to cover it x

Set him up for success, ask him what he would need to put in place to make sure he leaves on time. Alarms on his phone? A checklist with times on it? Don't do this for him, he needs to try to problem solve for himself but you can guide him and give him suggestions if he draws a blank. I hate to say this but plenty of year 7s get themselves ready and to school every day.

My Dc's school opens at about 7.45 for breakfast as buses don't always run to the school day. They can sit in the canteen chatting eating toast.

There are usually homework clubs or after school clubs running too which would mean he is getting his work done then can come home knowing it is done and out the way.

Talk to him about it.

My kids school had an after school homework club that ran for an hour. Is there anything similar at your school? Then he could get the bus and probably won’t be at home long by himself.

Think this is a great opportunity for him to manage himself in the morning. If he’s late without good reason, he’ll probably get detention and that will focus his mind.

For one day a week, I'd just let him do it.

DH is around 80% of the time, but in the remaining 20% the kids have to get themselves sorted - I start work at 8am. I make sure both are out of bed before I leave the house, but it's never been an issue.

Our school opens for breakfast at 7.30 I try and get there around then mainly to beat the school run traffic. I take them every day they get the bus home.

He takes himself every day except Wednesday when I’m heading that way at the right time for him.
3 days a week I’m in the office so if dh is home (most of the time) he’s not coming home to an empty house but will do probably once a week.
I leave twice a week before him so I’ll make sure he’s up and getting ready and make him breakfast at the same time so I at least see him in the morning, then just hope for the best that he leaves on time as dh is usually gone by 7:30 too.
tbh he’s 13, from 10 I was getting myself to and from school and was usually home alone until about 6:30 - he manages just fine on the odd occasion he’s home by himself.
i wfh 2 days a week and it’s nice to be here to see him when he gets in; I down tools for 5/10 minutes and have a chat before heading back to my office for probably only about half an hour really.
All works fine. Secondary is about gaining a bit more independence and freedom isn’t it?

I used to get up and out and catch two buses to school, then the same in reverse on the way home. Like another poster we also (me and sis) had responsibility for putting the tea on sometimes too, or picking up milk on the way home etc.

I think the majority of senior school kids do their own school runs from year seven barring any special needs that may affect independence levels.

The “school run” they do themselves if in walking distance.

She gets the bus.
At secondary they should be able to do the journey themselves, it's part of them developing independence.
She leaves at 8am and gets home 5.45pm as school doesn't finish until 5pm.

My daughter gets the bus to and from school and has a key to let herself in until I finish work. She’s in the house for an hour and a half before I am.

I’m a single parent with no family support and work full time.

They get themselves organised and out of the door. If they miss the bus, they walk. Me and dh leave between 7.15 (me) snd 7.30am (dh). We get home 5.50pm (dh) me anytime between 6 and 8pm. They will get themselves a snack and get ready for evening sports or just relax Sometimes they are also expected to make their own dinner.

c’Children need to be given opportunities to build independence,

We all get up, get ready and have breakfast together, but it’s on DC to get the bus. It sounds like it is only one day? Honestly I’d leave them to it. It’s good to develop their independence, and spend a bit of time alone after school. But an AirTag on their house key is handy!

Old enough to get the bus or walk.

Generally one of us leaves the house at same time as or after him in the morning. He’s often home for a couple of hours on his own in the afternoon. There are options to stay late twice a week.

DD has pretty much always done the journey by herself but there has always been someone here before she leaves and after she gets home, with DH and I working different days in the office/at home, and neither having to leave before her.

Maybe that means she’s being babied, but it works for all of us.

Mine had a key, got a snack and enjoyed time in the house without me being there.

You need a few rules such as lock the front door after you/no cooking but hes old enough to be alone.

They walk on their own?

Ive mostly been home when DC leave for school (both have walked with friends, and have an agreement where to meet)
However DH and I both commute and are often not in til 6 or 6.30 (later if there are problems on the trains) so DD used to do homework club for an hour, and then when both kids were there they would be home from 4ish -6 or 6.30 and be responsible for getting themselves to sports/activities (we were home to pick up)

Thanks, sorry I agree that "school run" wasn't the right term, since I mostly just meant being around before and after school.

Honestly, I'm still trying to understand access to the school before it starts. Officially, the gates open at 8:15 for an 8:30 start, and there is no breakfast club. But I also see that on alternate Mondays, there is a table tennis club that starts at 7:45 so I think the gates might open earlier than is officially stated
There are after school clubs some days that would have him home around 4:30, so DS wouldn't be home on his own for very long. I do worry about a key getting lost, so the recommendation about the airtag for it might be good.

I'm a more concerned about the morning. DH usually leaves around 7:15 and DS around 7:45, so that's where the part about DH flexing his day slightly later comes in.

Having DS get himself out the door in the morning is a good idea, but I know him. He is not ready for it. I know it would be good if he was, but he's just not. He might be next year, but not yet.

We have a keysafe for forgotten/lost keys. DD2s is attached to her bag on a long cable, and she's lost a lot of things but not that.

Like other,my DDs enjoy their alone time. I'm usually there straight after school, but out later (driving one or other to activities etc). They do homework, watch TV, read etc.