How different can your beliefs be and remain friends?

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I'm well known in my friendship group as a bleeding heart lefty, with the rest of them being (I thought) slightly right of centre.

Two of them went on the Tommy Robinson March last weekend. They didn't invite me (naturally), knew what I'd say if they did, but it was no secret with posts on FB etc.

Amoung our wider circle there's been a bit of a backlash. One man of Asian origin posted, not in direct response, but I expect it was in response iyswim, about how upsetting it was to see people he knows supprting this racist march. Now this is the most mild mannered man. Completely westernised in his daily life, supports his parents' customs for things like weddings and festivals. Professional job and a huge volunteer. If we talk about contribution he does much more than most.

I replied with something much more neutral than it might have been about how upsetting it is to see people being sucked in by the hate, even if they believe they were there for other reasons, the undertone is there and you can't support a rally like that without supporting the man and his ethos. It felt important to support this man who must be finding the general atmosphere where we live very uncomfortable currently.

As you'd expect it hasn't gone down well with the people who went on the march, who believe they went on the March in protest at illegal immigration and are not at all racist against anyone who is here legally.

I suspect on the surface, it will blow over, but....

Personally, I would happily be friends with anyone with a full range of political views, IF they state them only within the realms of legal free speech (rather than, for example, shouting abuse at someone in the street). This is not because I am comfortable with all political views; some are abhorrent. But I really believe that society is better off if we don't hem ourselves off into political groups - it creates an "us and them" mentality. It also means that you wouldn't have the chance to discuss immigration with your friends and maybe persuade them towards your own viewpoint should you wish.

Personally for me the limit is anyone that has beliefs that don’t align with basic fundamental rights - that includes being pro life not pro choice.

Yes, that's been my view. I enjoy a political discussion. Everyone's entitled to their view. I'd prefer it if they understand it enough to be able to explain it to me, which is find the real "anti" people often can't, but even so theure entitled to talk about out it.

Just as I'm entitled to tell them I don't agree, which is what they've taken exception to.

I'm finding this difficult. I have different views to a friend on an issue and she told me she thinks less of me now.

I told her that I didn't think people could change their sex.

This went down like a cup of cold sick.

She believes in odd things like reiki which I think personally is a bit woo but I don't say things like that to her.

We've been friends for years as well.

I have zero tolerance with anyone who supports the likes of Stephen Yaxley Lennon. I could not be friends with someone so bigoted and stupid.

But does that not make you as bad as them?

My friends would say they disagree with most of his views but have reached the end of their tether with illegal immigration, and that's why they went on the march.

I have a lot of questions about how/why they think their lives would improve if illegal immigration was brought completely under control, and the impact on ethnic minorities (like the man in my op) of demonstrations like this, but they felt it was important to do "something".

I don’t think it does, at all.

These people are narrow minded. As a woman, I believe they don’t see me as a level citizen to them.

No, it doesn't. HTH

That's the thing. These people (misguidedly imo) went on his march, but they say they don't support him except on the issue of illeagl immigration.....and are in fact women.

I accept they're not very bright and that in itself is not good for me, make me feel judgemental and not a good friend.

If they’re that uneducated, that’s on them.

I have the same problem as you from the opposite side. I'm against illegal immigration and (mass not all) legal immigration - I don't want to get into a discussion about that. All the people I know are naive middle class liberals who get all their info from the Guardian and the BBC and imo their ideas (not just on immigration) have ruined this country for my children, turning it from the lovely, functional place where most people got on that it was in the nineties to the basket case it is now - as they are the sort of people who've been in charge. I find it hard to not get annoyed with them and try to steer clear of politics.

Isn't it that view, and "uneducated" people feeling they have no voice, that has got us to a place where they join these marches?

There are a couple of great TED Talks on this subject https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qkG_gBoQ3zo

I'd be more concerned about the feelings of the British Asian guy who has explained how that march made him feel and less about those of people who attended something organised by a convicted criminal and founder of the EDL, a hate organisation.

As you'd expect it hasn't gone down well with the people who went on the march, who believe they went on the March in protest at illegal immigration and are not at all racist against anyone who is here legally.

I thought it was all about free speech? (It wasn't) They seem to have a problem with you expressing your views, anyway.

See, I'd argue that 15 years or Conservative government and neglect did that, and that immigrants are being used as the scapegoat. I'd ask you in what way your life would improve if immigration reduced to whatever level you deemed acceptable overnight?

Yes, exactly that point was made by someone else in the discussion.

Well, they're not going to find the answer at a march headed by Tommy Robinson and Katie Hopkins. Anyone who thought that going on that march was a good idea - instant unfriend from me.

Tbh - if you say these 'friends' are not very bright - what on earth do you have in common to talk about?

I have one friend who voted for Brexit. We both live in the EU. We agreed very early on we weren't going to discuss it.

She's not wrong in that she's concerned that her mum can't get a drs appointment, but she blames immigration rather than govt. not keeping up with demand.

I think I’d just drop them outright if I’m honest. It’s not worth tying yourself in knots trying to answer this question.

Well, the answer to your question depends on the extent to which either or both parties is an entitled idiot who won't see another side and/or can't resist putting "their" side over

In theory there might be someone who has views so utterly extreme as to be impossible to put up with but that's not the problem here, is it?

I’d drop any friend who went on the march or who agreed with Tommy Robinson in general tbh

Invite all of your friends, including the marchers and the British Asian man, to the pub. Talk about hobbies and each other's families.

It's hard to tell if they can reach agreement on specific policy as it depends on where they stand but it is hard to fully demonise someone you see in real life.

"Touch grass" together :)

They know him really well. One went to his (Hindu) wedding.

As you'd expect it hasn't gone down well with the people who went on the march, who believe they went on the March in protest at illegal immigration and are not at all racist against anyone who is here legally.

I believe if I asked I would know people who went. I am quite certain none of my friends went. I am not friends with racists. And whether people like it or not, if people arriving (however they arrive) in this country claim asylum at the point of entry they are not illegal immigrants. Whether they are truly refugees is a matter to be determined in accordance with the law, but some 70% of claims from "illegal immigrants" are accepted.

I accept that circumstances, poverty and hardship, fear, economics etc (the sorts of things that they have in common with asylum seekers) can make people think and do cruel things and fuels hatred. However we are all born with brains and I do not accept that failing to use them is an excuse.

I think you can still be friends as long as you respect each others viewpoints. I’m have opposing views to a lot of my friends (I’m very involved in church life, pro life, anti immigration) and I respect the fact that many people don’t have the same views as me.