How different can your beliefs be and remain friends?

[Bideo]

I'm well known in my friendship group as a bleeding heart lefty, with the rest of them being (I thought) slightly right of centre.

Two of them went on the Tommy Robinson March last weekend. They didn't invite me (naturally), knew what I'd say if they did, but it was no secret with posts on FB etc.

Amoung our wider circle there's been a bit of a backlash. One man of Asian origin posted, not in direct response, but I expect it was in response iyswim, about how upsetting it was to see people he knows supprting this racist march. Now this is the most mild mannered man. Completely westernised in his daily life, supports his parents' customs for things like weddings and festivals. Professional job and a huge volunteer. If we talk about contribution he does much more than most.

I replied with something much more neutral than it might have been about how upsetting it is to see people being sucked in by the hate, even if they believe they were there for other reasons, the undertone is there and you can't support a rally like that without supporting the man and his ethos. It felt important to support this man who must be finding the general atmosphere where we live very uncomfortable currently.

As you'd expect it hasn't gone down well with the people who went on the march, who believe they went on the March in protest at illegal immigration and are not at all racist against anyone who is here legally.

I suspect on the surface, it will blow over, but....

At least get your mention function right, @Menopausalsourpuss

People of influence particularly on the left need to tone it down

We should "tone down" fighting racism, misogyny and hatred? We should the hell being "toning it up".If more people had "toned it up" then we might not have people so filled with fear that they feel moved to kill someone (although we really have no idea why Kirk was killed).

judging by your age benefited greatly from the prosperous years now long gone.

F^k off with your ageism.

Signed 68 year old Marxist.

Human rights and dignity were not just invented in "your generation", and you shot yourself right in the foot denying older people the right to exist.

Such as?

That all Asian men treat their wives badly and expect them to be submissive while they never do their share of housework. That was what you asked, wasn't it? With the implication that because he was Asian, he would automatically behave that way?

Not all migrants have cultural views in line with British values. I work with their wives.

Not all British men have cultural views in line with your purported British values. I have worked with their wives, daughters and other victims.

How do you know this poster's Asian friend is a migrant? He may well be British. Again, your assumptions are a bit Yaxley Lennon.

I have worked with a lot of British Asian men. Their values absolutely aligned.

At no point did I say they do.

Lucky you. My aquaintenances have husbands who treat them as second class sex slaves. Some are seeking help via womens aid.
There's good and bad in all races - just because you haven't met them doesn't mean they cease to exist

But you jumped straight to assumptions about Asian men and not about British men.

Your comment was clearly racist and has rightly been deleted.

In which case they are not British values.

It’s not ageist to point out facts, your generation has benefited greatly from a time of economic prosperity as well as political stability. Not all but a large cohort of your generation voted for tories, Brexit and now sit around watch GB news and believing farage’s crap. The end result being an overall poor climate for current generation.

You are being very ageist in your assumptions. And to say “large cohorts” watch GB News is very ignorant. GB News have an average audience of 80,000 per day. There are 12 million pensioners in the UK.

Ofcourse it was deleted - mumsnet only allows racism against white brits and usually males.
The staggering number of all men are crap threads that litter these boards is amazing

I did not vote for Tories or Brexit and I know nobody who did. I have never seen GB News. I despise Farage. And hello - have you never heard of Thatcher, the Miners strike, the 3 day week...?

The vast majority of what you have we fought for. You are an arrogant youngster who knows nothing about history. Educate yourself before insulting others that fought for your rights.

🤦‍♀️

I can absolutely assure you, every person at that protest is against my family’s existence. The ‘I’m not racist but’ crowd included.

its not hysteria its racism and hatred. Presumably you have no experience of this.

I’m white and middle class and so people openly share their hatred with me and say oh ‘but’ when they remember…

And please don’t dump me in the trans row for not wanting racist ‘friends’

Sweetheart, the reason why there are a lot of negative posts about men is that women who are happy with their men don't post about it. They just get on with their lives.

And women who are unhappy with their men have every right to ask for help and support, because nobody should have to put up with a shit partner of either sex.

As someone who had a post deleted, perhaps you shouldn't be throwing stones in this particular glass house.

Yeah, I've had the 'oh, but I don't mean you' crap too. As an EU immigrant it cuts no bloody ice with me. It's racism, it's xenophobia, it's people being rubbish human beings and I have no sympathy for a single person who went on that march.

I have a friend who is determined tory supporter just as much as I am a determined labour supporter.

I admire that she always listens and we have had many good natured debates over the years.

She has occasionally said things which cross into racism and I challenge this.
I see people here saying they would drop a friend who was racist but this would achieve nothing at all.

Other than me, my friend is surrounded with people who think the same way as her (or worse) about race and immigration so if I buggered off there would be nobody who questioned these views at all and I think I have made her reflect a little at least.

At the same time I listen to her genuine concerns which drive her anti immigrant views.

We try to find common ground rather than widen the gap.

I don’t think drawing battle lines and labelling each other bigots or woke bleeding hearts or whatever is helpful.
We need to keep talking to each other before we become a carbon copy of america.

If you’re not part of the lot that dragged us over the Brexit line and currently ring LBC letting everyone know how frightened you are of ‘illegal immigrants’ then you have no reason to take offence.

I think the minute you start to believe people who think differently are ‘not very bright’, the problems begin.

I’m probably more Right of centre (but would never link myself with TR and his marches) and many of my friends are more Left leaning. Mutual respect and ‘agreeing to disagree’ has to be the middle ground. If I start to think they’re thick (or they do the same to me), then we’ve got very little in common. Most of the arguments you see on MN, sooner or later descend into one side suggesting the other side is stupid, or uneducated. For me, that’s the point a friendship would be over.