Anybody else not had somebody to look after your toddler whilst you give birth to your baby? What did you do?

[PassportPhotosAreHorrific]

Very specific dilemma I know!

Long story short, I have a tiny family who mostly live far away, and all of my friends live far away too.

So as not to drip feed, my mum and stepdad were going to have DS (3 years old) when I go into labour, but my stepdad has now been diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. By the time the baby is due, my stepdad will just be home after an experimental treatment programme. So he (and my mum) can't be exposed to germs during that period. Mum will be looking after him.

My partner, understandably, wants to be at the labour to support me.

So it's dawning on me that I have no idea what to do with my toddler.

If you were in a similar situation, what did you do? Did you take your older child to the hospital/ midwife unit with you? Or is there another solution I've not thought of?

I've thought of a paid babysitter but I have no idea how long I'll be gone for, so that makes that tricky.

Any suggestions appreciated :)

I couldn’t have managed post c section alone with my baby I needed my mum and friend who did shifts to help me

You absolutely cannot bring your child to the maternity unit. it is not the midwives’ job to babysit your child.

You could look into a homebirth, or you could pay for childcare, or your partner stays home.

Dh stayed at home. It was so much better without him tbh!

Doula?

I've done this for my vbac. Had dh stay at home with ds3, neighbour drove me to hospital wailing, and then I had a morphine shot and it was all good. Well, until the shoulder dystocia, but dh would have been annoying before that and helpless during it. It put my mind at ease knowing that he was at home with ds. Nursery was surprised though thay we'd not asked them for an emergency sitter as we knew I would be alone.

We had no family help. And even our close friends either lived too far away (2-3 hours) and/or had jobs they could not just ditch (hospital consultant, teacher, etc).

I had a home birth (with both of them), which obviously if all went to plan solved the problem of needing childcare. But I hired a doula in training who was basically DD’s doula for the birth. She kept her amused, periodically brought her up to see me and explain what was happening, and if all had gone tits up, she would have stayed with her at home as long as necessary for someone to be able to come stay with her or Dh came back from the hospital.

As it was, all was fine. I gave birth and dd watched Frozen downstairs eating snacks with the doula. But it was money well spent to know she was there in case we needed her.

I had a similar situation. DH stayed at home with the toddler, I went in alone. It was fine

Could you get a doula? So your husband stays at home but you have a doula as your birthing partner and hospital support

My husband looked after my daughter ans l went on my own, honestly it was much easier than l expected OP.