Mum's dead but is she?

[SpuddlingInTheGarden]

Lost my dear Mum 2 years ago. I've got her ashes in a lovely box in my sitting room. We were due to have a family get together to celebrate DS birthday. I was thinking to myself that wouldn't it be nice if when we are all there in the sitting room, she could give us a sign, if I asked her, by flickering the lights to show she is still with us.

Fast forward to DS birthday get-together. I was feeling down and had forgotten about asking her for a sign (I'd have felt very daft anyway!). We were playing a board game and the light flickered for a few times. Everyone noticed. I said nothing.

Wishful thinking?

Not the first experience I've had. I was walking to the estate agent with mum's house keys to hand them over following completion after selling her home (our family home of 50 years). Obviously I was feeling very sad. A few steps away from the estate agent, a small, fluffy white feather floated towards me and literally landed in my open hand.

Yes, probably just a bird flying by, but I felt strangely comforted.

@Squaredpaper Well that's a very insensitive post to put on here. If you don't believe then that's fine, but please don't add your unhelpful thoughts on a post that is obviously written by someone who is grieving. Shame on you!

This sums up my views exactly.

There are books about all sorts of things.

I wish I could get a sign! I went to two mediums this year trying to connect, but nothing.

Gorgeous!

It's honestly changed my whole perspective. In contrast, after my dad died, I didn't receive any signs at all. It's only really recently, over 35 years later, that something happened that I feel like was him. I don't pretend to understand any of it, but I do think there's a lot more to the world than we know about.

None of us will ever know if the lights was your mum but it is what you think that matters and only that. If thinking it was your mum comforts you then don't let the naysayers persuade you otherwise. I've dreamed vividly about my late partner several times and had a feather fall in front of me the next day. I've felt someone./thing sit on my bed a few times and once lie down. It comforted me that he didn't hate me for not saving him.

I do believe that there is life after death as I can't believe that something as complex, emotional and compassionate as a human being just stops. I wouldn't expect anyone else to believe it and wouldn't criticise anyone else for not agreeing with me!

Have you tried to ask for a sign? The medium Thomas John suggests this, and if you read my post upthread, it actually worked for me. Think of an item and ask your loved one to show it to you. It may take weeks, but it will happen.

she’s still with you just not in a physical form

I believe this is your mum.

When mine died in 2022 there were three things that happened soon after that I was convinced were her.

@fastingforweightloss thank you, I shall try it!

Some years ago, my brother found himself witnessing a seance. Note that I say "witnessing", not "taking part in" - the other people present were seated at the table, but he was watching from the doorway.

The glass spelled out a message which was obviously intended for him, because nobody else in the room could understand it. It was a message from our grandfather, telling him to search for a lost relative in a particular part of the country. Suffice it to say that when he eventually found the relative, that relative was living in the area he'd been told about.

Until that point, we'd both been fairly sceptical about this sort of thing - but now we're much more open-minded. I'm sure there's a lot of stuff out there that we don't fully understand.

Oh I love that...I wasn't sure if I should give my daughter the middle name of my nan as Maggie or May, as my daughter was born in the same month my nan died some years previously. So I said May very clearly to the person taking down the registration details and but she heard and repeated 'Maggie?' back to me. There's absolutely no way I mumbled the name either as I'm not a mumbler.

There are more things in Heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

I have this same dilemma. My mum died completely unexpectedly almost a year ago. I ask her all the time to send me signs (often birds) and sometimes I think she does. But her own mother died suddenly when she was young and, as she said herself, she chased her around the universe with psychics and mediums and all sorts, desperate for something.

So I don't know. I refuse to believe that the bond we had died at that moment. How could she leave me? Leave her only grandchild? I still speak to her, I still ask her for help, I still thank her for all that she did for me. But I also weep for the loss.

Mum was a nurse, so very matter of fact about the body - dead is dead is dead. And yet - I hope not. I have to believe she still hears me.

If you take comfort from whatever you want to, it can only be a nice thing.

I firmly believe that when you’re dead, that’s if. Absolutely nothing could convince me otherwise. I know that people that believe in an afterlife see feathers/butterflies/rainbows that I’d see as a normal and everyday occurrence, and take them suddenly as a sign. If it brings comfort, there is nothing wrong with a bit of suspended belief. It’s hard to accept that people simply cease to be.

I lost my mam 16 year this dec 2 days before christmas , still done xmas dinner as all food was in and she was going to watch and guide me make it but didn't work out as she passed 2 days before suddenly , so i done the dinner same time as ahe always did , put the tv on for queens speech which we never normally do soon as it started the lights flickered i just went ok mam we won't watch it and white feathers and robins make me think of her as well

It was a work of fiction.

Quoting Hamlet won't prove anything.

With all due respect, this is not the thread for you.

Thank you for such amazing messages.

YANBU

There was a podcast a couple of weeks ago OP with Steven Bartett OP. It was a scientist who had been on before and she has written about how she is convinced that her relative was communicating with her who had died (I think her husband) I had a sudden stroke when I was pregnant and a few days before I saw all these bright lights in the bathroom with no light source causing them. It was very strange. I had a friend who died recently . She was a professional dancer and at her funeral a bird came in and was 'dancing around' as we all left the church. We all saw the bird. It was amazing. I don't have any answers OP but I think there are many things that we don't know.

Yes she is there for in your heart wherever you go, always .

When I cared for my MIL in her final days she said I will come back and give you a sign if I can.
A while after her death I was sleeping in the room she died in. It was early hours of the morning and completely dark. I suddenly awoke and saw a light bouncing around the room. I watched it for a while not understanding what it was. I then filmed it my phone, it was very strange.