Mum's dead but is she?

[SpuddlingInTheGarden]

Lost my dear Mum 2 years ago. I've got her ashes in a lovely box in my sitting room. We were due to have a family get together to celebrate DS birthday. I was thinking to myself that wouldn't it be nice if when we are all there in the sitting room, she could give us a sign, if I asked her, by flickering the lights to show she is still with us.

Fast forward to DS birthday get-together. I was feeling down and had forgotten about asking her for a sign (I'd have felt very daft anyway!). We were playing a board game and the light flickered for a few times. Everyone noticed. I said nothing.

Wishful thinking?

Not the first experience I've had. I was walking to the estate agent with mum's house keys to hand them over following completion after selling her home (our family home of 50 years). Obviously I was feeling very sad. A few steps away from the estate agent, a small, fluffy white feather floated towards me and literally landed in my open hand.

Yes, probably just a bird flying by, but I felt strangely comforted.

Beautiful. She is still with you ❤️❤️

I agree with this

But ultimately all that matter what you think and feel
I lost my mum many years ago but she is still alive to me in many ways and always will be

I 100% believe in Heaven since having kids. The idea of being separated from my kids is so unbearable that I choose to believe in Heaven where me and my kids will be together and happy forever.

It hurts no-one that I believe this and I really can't understand the motivation of anyone who would want to undermine a private, harmless belief someone has that they take comfort it.

I find the subject fascinating, it seems that people who've passed on can communicate a bit through electrical things, lights like the OP said and sometimes telephone calls. To the naysayers, I think it's good to have an open mind.

Thanks everyone. I was expecting to be told to get a grip.

Such interesting experiences from everyone.

I'm not religious and would not normally believe in anything like this but who knows.

If it brings you comfort, that's all that matters.

I remember, shortly after my dad died, my friend took me out to a nice hotel for a cream tea. Minutes after we arrived, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, and over the sound system came the exact, pretty niche piece of classical music we'd played at his funeral only a couple of days before.

In another story, at my parents wedding in the 70s, my dad bought the bridesmaids (mums sisters) an owl shaped pendant.

I didn't know this until my auntie wore it at my dads funeral and told me the story.
I saw this auntie very recently (the first time since the funeral - they live far away and we're not especially close) and we got talking about the owl pendant. She promised to take a photo of it when she got home, which she did.
2 days later I'm pulling into my driveway when I see something shiny on the ground. I go to pick it up, and it's an metal owl pendant, fallen from a necklace or a keyring. Definitely not mine. Perhaps dropped by a bird or something.

Spooky, but I took it as a sign from dad. :)

@MissMarvelMum I'm generally not a fan of tattoos but that is beautiful 💙

Another story on here just reminded me of another sign I had.
when I was 19 I lost a baby (molar pregnancy) and after my surgery I was back on a ward, a worker came in and turned the radio on and Vera lynn ‘we’ll meet again’ was playing. This was also my grans funeral song as she sang it everytime we left her house. I took the sign to mean she had my baby and we would see eachother again, and again it gives me huge comfort. Some people may think I’m crazy but it makes me feel better and it’s not harming anyone else. No one knows the real answer and in the big bad world we all live in, I try to take comfort in the little things ❤️

I read something beautiful about that a few years back.

"We all die twice. First when our physical body dies, and secondly when the last person speaks our name for the final time."

It came up for me in relation to my great-great uncle Sidney, who was killed in action at the Somme and has no known grave. Through a weird twist of fate, I ended up as a "family representative" during the commemorations for the end of WW1, as part of an art installation called "Shrouds of the Somme". I did numerous media interviews and appearances, and spoke my uncles name to the world. He became the face and name of the multitude of lost men. Lost in 1916, but still talked about over 100 years later.

I lost my adult ds last year and I dont believe in signs, afterlife, or that he's with me. Fine if you want to believe that but its not for me.Everyone is different.

I lost a very close friend last August, suddenly and unexpectedly. She wasn't the least bit spiritual, but after she died, a robin started to visit my garden. I live near the sea and wild birds don't tend to frequent the garden because of the rowdy seagulls. This little robin was bold and beautiful and would even fly up to the window and tap on the glass. My friend was a wildlife artist, specialising in painting wild birds, and I am convinced my little robin is her, saying hello. Her sons, too, reported being visited by a robin, and when her daughter in law announced her pregnancy, the robin was there, too, on the window sill, watching.

I know it's probably bollocks, but for me, that little robin brings great comfort and a feeling of peace.

I've never experienced this but my daughter is convinced that her dad sends signs. It comforts her so who knows? If it helps people with bereavement it can only be a good thing

I absolutely believe in this type of thing. I've had several very similar experiences that I won't post about because they would be too outing as my family all know about them, but very similar things to what you have described.

I lost my father in decemeber

i I asked him for a golf ball! Weird but it’s something I’ll never ever be near.

i work for emergency services and a few days later we got called out to a golf course.

im there about 45 mins when I hear ‘FOUR!!! To your head!!!!!’

golf ball literally landed at my feet……….

i totally believe.

It's genuinely puzzling to me that anyone believes that we tiny humans trapped in our imperfect bodies with such limited senses have a handle on death, the afterlife or anything else. We're like ants crawling on a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle who think they undersand the pattern.

We see only tiny glimpses of all that there this, or to quote Corinthians "We see through a glass darkly."

Yes, I absolutely believe there are many more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in our philosophies (to horribly paraphrase Shakespeare) and have had my own very strange experiences too.

I do believe your mother was letting you know she's still around. How does that work? I have no idea - but one day we will know :)

I just finished reading a book by a hospice nurse called Hadley called The In-Between - you might like it :)

I had to have a couple of biopsies carried out for possible bc and was scared witless of getting the results. I actually made a request that morning out loud asking my late father to send me strength because he was such a strong, unflappable individual himself. Walked out of the house, and there was a perfect white feather on the path in front of me, and when I got on the bus to come home from the hospital (all clear, thank God), the seat I sat down in had an old Irish penny on it – you just don't see them nowadays, they've been obsolete for twenty years (Eurozone), and I'm in the North in any case. But my dad was from the Republic of Ireland...yes, they might just have been silly coincidences, but I did find them comforting!

I'm not sure, MIL has a sister who died, every time she visits the area where sister lived, their song comes on. Just a pop song from the 00s no reason that she would hear it at random now but she did whilst we were away in the summer. We discussed it an hour or so before, I kind of poo pood the idea! I was like, ah unlikely! Shame though, I'll put it on in the car on the way home!

We were on our way into swimming, and on it comes!

I love the quote from Terry Pratchett’s ‘Going Postal’:
“Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?”

As long as believing this doesn’t complicate your grief, it doesn’t really matter if it’s ‘real’ or just wishful thinking. It makes you feel closer to your mum: you’re thinking about her, you’re talking about her - and now we’re talking about her too ❤️

💐 I can completely relate to what you're saying op. When my dad's ashes were in the house I had candles turn on even though they were turned off. I had my Spotify skip songs even though it was not on the setting to do so, and the song that would come on was appropriate for the moment and tied to my dad. In the car on the way to the hospital to see my dad's body (I missed the moment he passed) , songs came on the car radio that honestly still shock me to this day. These songs have never came on in this way, and I'm in my late 30s. When I turned radio on, spirit in the sky, followed by green grass have a party on the day that I die, and others.

When I scattered dad's ashes and they were no longer in my house, the occurrences stopped for awhile. I felt his energy must be becoming less the longer he had been dead for if that makes sense, and his ashes being gone. This made me really sad thinking I'm losing him all over again. I have some of dad's favourite belonging around my house, and in the place where his ashes were and some of his items, i feel his energy. Even dh who thinks this is all crazy has felt this, and we have both seen flickers in peripheral vision. One was so intense dh got a shock.

I haven't thought about anything for a little while, then suddenly, I feel a draft put of the blue despite it being warm; I put it down to just a random breeze. However a candle was on the whole 2 weeks we were on holiday. This candle is part of a set, and not faulty . It had low battery before we went, and I have no idea how it would have turned itself on, and then survived that long. I got such a shock to see it glowing when we got back. It was as if my dad was welcoming us home because I couldn't go to see him as usual and tell him all about our holiday. Then the other day, again I wasn't thinking of him at this particular time. Out of the blue I could strongly smell his smell, I felt his energy around me like a hug. It was honestly surreal, I cannot make sense of it.

It all sounds bonkers, and I have never in my life believed in anything like this before. I have lost grandparents, aunts and uncles and nothing like this has ever happened, despite me willing for ny grandma to come back.

Dad and I were so close I feel we are connected. I don't believe in walking around human-form ghosts. I do now believe there is an energy dispersed into the atmosphere that science isn't advanced enough to discover. I believe there is a soul within the body which is a shell, a consciousness that science cannot understand.

I actually don't feel connected with dad at his grave all of the time, so this isn't psychological, it will happen at random times at home.

I believe you cannot summon the energy, it will happen randomly and it is not something that can be asked for or communicated.

Right I sound like an absolute fruit loop now, so will stop!

I'm sorry for your loss.

But I am an atheist, I don't believe in heaven or the after life.
Those who do, take comfort from the belief that their loves ones are 'up there somewhere, looking down on them'.
That's their belief system and choice.

When I was a child, my Gran used to say (jokingly) she'd send me a signal when she died, if she could. That was 50 years ago and no signal has come.

I'm sorry you're grieving but maybe try not to focus on these coincidences.

So glad you started this thread and have had so much positive feedback OP. We know what we know. I am sorry for your loss and glad you have had signs to comfort you.

I'm sorry for your loss OP 💐. I think a PP was correct when they said, irregardless of what anyone else thinks, you need to think about whether or not attributing meaning to things like this is helping or hindering your grief process.

As for me, I always think, if this was proof of life after death/heaven/whatever, why do they always flicker a light or send a feather? Why not just appear and say 'Hello Spud, don't worry, I'm ok'. Same with 'mediums', if the dead are communicating, why do they give complicated clues about who they are and what they mean, and a name beginning 'J'. Why not just say 'Hello, it's John'.? I know what I think the answer to that is...

I definitely believe this, and have a few of my own to share.

My Mum steadfastly believed in the afterlife, and she said that when she died she would make a picture fall off the wall. She died in her own home, with me, my sister and our Dad there. My sister went home that night and a canvas that had been hanging in the kitchen was on the floor.

Recently, I was watching a video made by a psychic and he said that you should ask your loved ones for a sign, and tell them what the sign is. I secretly asked my Mum to show me a butterfly. On Mother's day, my DH always gets me a card from the dogs, and it was a plain card saying "Happy Mother's Day" with one butterfly pin badge in the centre of it. I told my sister this, and she told her 10 year old daughter, and her daughter said "If I was thinking of Nanna, I'd think of the moon". Later that day they went out for Mother's day dinner, and the lady who greeted them at the restaurant had a t-shirt with a moon on it, moon shaped earrings and a bracelet with moons on it. Suitably freaked out (!) when they sat down, my sister asked her daughter what she would think of for the other Nanna (also passed), and she said the sun. The waitress appeared and had a huge tattoo of the sun on her inner arm!

A few months ago, I decided to see a psychic with friends. I've never done this before. A few days beforehand, I kept asking my DH if he could smell the strange odour on our house - it smelled like wood. Couldn't locate it. Anyway, when I saw the psychic, she told me my Mum's name and told me that my Mum had placed a smell in my home - not perfumey, but woody! She also asked me if I had sent a saucy pic to my DH - a weird question to ask a middle aged woman I thought - and although I denied it, this was actually the truth. She also told me that someone who had recently been talking about adoption would not go ahead - this is true - my son and his girlfriend had been considering this, but they had just split up. Lots more too.

My Mum went to a psychic fayre around the time I was considering leaving my first marriage. I had not told a living soul I was thinking about this. A stall holder beckoned my Mum over and said "I have a message for X" with X being my name. I have met around 2 other people in my life with the same name as me, that's how unusual it is. Psychic went on to tell my Mum that I would be moving house and finding a new man......Mum thought no way, she's happily married.....of course it was ALL true. That psychic also told my Mum that she would come to own a guitar under strange circumstances, and that she would win the lottery. Some time later, my parents were sitting in the garden at midnight, after having had a BBQ, and a guitar came flying over the back fence, and landed squarely on the lawn. Shortly after that, they won £20k on the lottery.

Oh, and one day, me a DH were moaning a bit about his Mum (passed), and a canvas on our stairs flew off the wall!

I cannot fathom any logical explanation for any of it, but when I've told these stories on here before, people are tripping over themselves to disprove anything freaky has happened, but how on earth can you explain any of it?

Remarkable 🩵