Mum's dead but is she?

[SpuddlingInTheGarden]

Lost my dear Mum 2 years ago. I've got her ashes in a lovely box in my sitting room. We were due to have a family get together to celebrate DS birthday. I was thinking to myself that wouldn't it be nice if when we are all there in the sitting room, she could give us a sign, if I asked her, by flickering the lights to show she is still with us.

Fast forward to DS birthday get-together. I was feeling down and had forgotten about asking her for a sign (I'd have felt very daft anyway!). We were playing a board game and the light flickered for a few times. Everyone noticed. I said nothing.

Wishful thinking?

Not the first experience I've had. I was walking to the estate agent with mum's house keys to hand them over following completion after selling her home (our family home of 50 years). Obviously I was feeling very sad. A few steps away from the estate agent, a small, fluffy white feather floated towards me and literally landed in my open hand.

Yes, probably just a bird flying by, but I felt strangely comforted.

My mum died four months ago. My sisters both often say things like Mum made X happen, or Mum sent a sign to warn me about Y.
I wish I believed more strongly in an afterlife or that spirits had any kind of agency and could send us signs. I want to believe that. I love the fact that my sisters do. It's a comfort to them.

The day we lost her, I noticed one of those yellowy creamy coloured little butterflies fluttering near me and it was the same colour as her hair. Ever since then I see them everywhere, all the time and it lifts my spirits because I can pretend to myself that it's a visit or sign from her. My logical brain tells me its butterfly season so of course I'm seeing them, and I'm noticing them more because I've associated them with her. My heart says that doesn't matter.

Love doesn't go anywhere when we lose someone, whatever brings you comfort is meaningful and we don't have all the answers. We should believe what gives us solace. I'm sorry for your loss OP xx

I believe you, OP. In the weeks after my mum died, myself and both my siblings had vivid experiences. One of mine was that I kept a letter Mum had written to me in my dressing table drawer. A few weeks after she died, I came into the bedroom and found the letter lying on the floor, a few feet in front of the table. It had been placed very precisely, with the second sheet of paper lying under the first at an exact right angle.

I hadn't put it there, and neither had my husband. It was just the two of us in the house. I thought maybe it had fallen out the back of the drawer, and tried over and over to recreate it, but when it fell out the back it just fluttered straight down to the floor - it didn't move forward to several feet in front of the table, much less look as if it'd been placed so neatly.

I had another experience a few days later which was even more dramatic, but I'm hesitant to recount it because I don't think anyone would believe me! But I believe firmly now that there's some kind of afterlife, and that Mum was letting me know she was still there.

My husband's a scientist and believes me, by the way. He has little time for the mentality that 'there's no proof so it doesn't exist'.

I lost my mum a couple of years ago. Shortly after she died, my son and I went to a football match of the team we follow. My mum had loved football too and had been a season ticket holder.
That day, my head was all over the place with the loss of my mum, but I didn’t want to disappoint my son by not going. The weather had been gloomy and I was feeling really emotional but as we took our seats in the stand she used to sit in, the sky brightened and a rainbow appeared. I don’t think she sent us a sign but in that moment, I felt really connected to her, like she was there with us and it really lifted my mood.

Have you read the book by Laura lynne jackson The Light Between Us? Your mum is with you, you asked for a sign and you got one.

Oh please share the other story too! No one will think you are mad - quite the opposite!

I have another one.

My Mum went to see a medium shortly after her sister died. Her sister was called Pauline, and a few people called her Polly for short.

It was a large event in a hotel, with people seated at tables. The medium was rubbish and didn't get much right at all. As they were all about to leave, another person at my Mum's table said "Gosh, you really want these medium's to say something meaningful don't you, something like you had a sister called Polly"

Love your tattoo, it's a lovely way to remember.

Oh, and I always shake my head sadly at the "Well just cos millions of people have said it all throughout history and given remarkably similar accounts of simlar events that's not proof!" brigade.

All throughout history, eyewitness accounts have been regarded as compelling evidence in legal and social contexts. In ancient legal systems like Mesopotamia or Rome, testimony from witnesses was often the cornerstone of judicial proceedings. To this day we rely on eye witness accounts, today's juries are allowed to give evidence more or less credibility and weight depending on whether the person is believable based on their consistency, demeanour and plausibility.

Corroboration is great, and often people do corroborate one another's strange experiences - but ultimately millions of people over thousands of years saying the same sorts of things IS proof :) Eye witness proof is indeed considered proof - and without it we would have no history of - well - anything.

If just one person - just one - of all those who have sworn they saw or experienced something supernatural was right - suddenly everything humans thought they knew of the universe changes.

Just a few more thoughts.

I think it absolutely is a sign. I also experience them. I lost my mum 3 years ago just before my birthday and a couple of weeks ago I was really missing her and felt down and then I walked into my kitchen and it smelled exactly like hers did on a Sunday when she cooked a roast. I can’t explain the smell because it wasn’t just a generic roast dinner smell. Hers always smelled different to any other. The only place that smelled like that at the time was my kitchen. I check outside to see if i could maybe smell a neighbour cooking because i had my patio doors open but couldn’t smell anything! Just a really strong smell of mum’s roast in my kitchen - not even in my hallway leading to the kitchen. It was very bizarre but I felt great comfort from that.

She’s with you OP. Always when you need her comfort. She’s there ♥️

your mum lives on in you and your children, take comfort in the signs you see around you.

LOL, I'm not so sure - I've seen how these threads can go! 😁 But I was in the bedroom again, working in bed on my laptop. It was afternoon, and I was NOT asleep - I was typing and focused on what I was doing. I heard a noise and looked over, and an empty plastic bottle on my husband's side of the bed was rocking back and forth. I just sat there, stunned, watching until it finally stopped. Probably 20 or 30 seconds? The windows were closed, there was no breeze, and nothing else in the room was moving.

After it stopped, I said out loud, 'Mum, if that was you, give me another sign so I'm sure.' And immediately, a box of tissues next to the bottle moved an inch or so, as if someone had tapped it. I FREAKED. OUT. Immediately rang my dh at work, gibbering, to tell him what had happened. (And bless him, he believed me!)

A few other things have happened over the years, but that was definitely the most dramatic. I know the 'logical' explanation is that I was asleep and dreamed it - except I wasn't.

As @thebabayaga2025 said, we know what we know.

How many parents or loved ones have you lost?

I wouldn't even bother replying to this cockwomble. Imagine coming on a thread about a person's dead mum and saying "Snort" and desperately trying to sound above it all. They're just a midwitted gobshite who yearns to be superior, and you will never get a sensible, honest or reasonable response from them.

My mum was the strongest woman I have known and she always said if it was possible she would get in touch after she passed. Nearly 30 years and nothing. So I believe when you die that is it but she is in my heart and memories until I too pass.

Yes, please share. ♥️

The world is divided into those who believe in ghosts, the paranormal and psychics.

The rest believe in sheer coincidence and vivid imaginations.

Wow. That's amazing.

I’m convinced my mother haunted me for a short time after her death. I think she went on after that though.

What a lovely story and a beautiful tattoo!

I know I might sound odd or like i am being sarcastic but I do believe in these little signs

She is with you and watching over you, i'm sure x

That is so nice and hopefully comforting to you. I'm a sceptic but I'm going to try and say this in the spirit in which I mean it - Whether or not the physical signs you saw were actually sent by your dear mum, the wishing for and noticing signs is evidence of the love and connection you had and which still exists in your heart and memories. In that sense at the very least your mum lives on within you in the form of your thoughts and emotions (as well as genetically!)

I know disgusting. I don't understand why they're allowed to post here.

I like to tell myself it’s my mum giving a sign when I see the brightest rainbow when I feel down or when a butterfly comes and lands on me. I know it’s not, but it makes me happy to imagine.

OMG!! 😮

I don’t believe in signs. And I’m an atheist. But sometimes I feel my Mum’s presence and it helps me. She was a devout Catholic and I joke to myself that she’s making her presence felt because she’s saying “Told you!” With a big smile on her face. It makes me smile.
Because grief is a horrible thing and we all shoulder it in different ways. Most of which make no sense to people who aren’t you.
Whatever comforts you, op