DP lost her job

[Alysskea]

Just need to dump this somewhere as I feel like friends/family are sick of hearing from me.

DP has lost her job. I won’t go into the details but it was due to exceptionally poor management. She is not to blame.

We have a 2 year old, childcare fees and a mortgage. My income leaves us £1000 a month short assuming no non-essential spending, no new shoes for DD etc.

We have modest savings but by my account every day she is unemployed these go down by £30.

Yes she’s applying for jobs but there are no guarantees. What the fuck are we going to do if she can’t get one. What do people do??? Sell my house and move into one room at my mums on the other side of the country? Sell it and try to find a flat? Most cost more to rent than my mortgage.

I am trying to be a supportive partner and good parent but all I can think about is that the rug is just getting pulled from underneath me.

Why isnt it relevant?

This happened to us. In hindsight, the immediate panic was the worst thing and not actually the financial situation. Jobs were found and money was made. I definitely empathise with the situation, it happened to us twice and it is a horrid feeling. You will survive. Definitely apply together for UC - even mortgage payers are sometimes okay to receive and can be backdated. There is mortgage relief too.
Also ask (it won’t hurt, even if they say no) to explain situation to childcare provider and ask if they can offer a pause, even if it’s just a couple of weeks to support.

good Luck.

Apply for any job and take it in the interim. You can also ask for a pause on your mortgage due to temporary issues with finances. Go through budget with a fine tooth comb and cut what you don’t need.

Who on earth wants a random stranger in their home when they have a child ? I'd rather give up my home than risk my child's safety

Thats your choice but I think most sensible intelligent people would rather tolerate a lodger for a while if they could rather than loose their home

I have a lodger and 2 DC in the house. I have had 4 now and they have all been brilliant. It brings in some much needed money and the DCs have got on with all of them. It’s just about getting the right person. I have only ever had females by choice (which is legal) . Definitely worth looking into.

Yes and every mortgage company thar signed up to the mortgage charter (all of them pretty much) legally have to grant you a 3 month payment holiday if you haven’t had one before.

Where is this stipulated@beasmithwentworth ?

www.gov.uk/government/publications/mortgage-charter/mortgage-charter

I think “most sensible intelligent” parents would not agree

Temp agencies are what's needed right now. Immediate starts stop worrying

From Martin Lewis

My mistake @Stowawaysue. It’s 3 months interest only they have to agree to not a payment holiday. Apologies. This really helped me out when I was in a tight spot last year however.

OP, do you realise how selfish you sound? MY house, MY mortgage, MY nursery place.
there are lots of practical things you can do to make up the shortfall - payment hol on mortgage, ask nursery to reduce hours, JSA application, alongside general Belt tightening.

No where does it stipulate that banks signed up to the charter HAVE to offer a 3 month interest holiday on mortgages

@Stowawaysue - no it is not stipulated here. I am going by what my financial advisor told me which led me to do it.

I don’t claim to be an expert however - I was simply trying to offer something that the OP might find helpful.

Yes but perhaps don’t speak so definitively as though what you’re saying is FACT.

@Stowawaysue - we can all make errors. I’m sure you do too. As I said I’m not an expert. Your tone and use of capitals is coming across as quite aggressive. I won’t be engaging further with you on this. I was trying to help the OP.

OP I’ll rephrase my original advice.

If your lender has signed up to the mortgage charter, then they will almost certainly grant you a 3 month interest only period. Most of the main lenders are signed up to this so it’s definitely worth looking into as it really helped me out last year when I fell on hard times.

Yes i make errors

but i don’t advise definitively as fact unless i am 100% sure
especially on important financial matters 🤷‍♀️

When you get over this - which you will, try and save so you have a buffer of six months' living expenses, it's a life saver in difficult times if you can manage it.

What HR qualification do you have? No she can't claim unfair dismissal!

@beasmithwentworth do you require DBSs for your lodgers?

@Cluesinthename81 no. I take references and have a pretty open conversation with them about them, their lives, what they are looking for and what’s ok with me and what’s not... 3 out of the 4 have been early 20s so have met their parents when they moved in. I trust my instincts a lot and would rather have the room empty for another month than get the wrong person. The other one was late 20s just arrived from Australia and we just clicked. My DC are now 18 and 15 and I’ve done it for the last 5 years so they weren’t young young iyswim. I haven’t had a bad experience yet and am still in touch with the ones that have moved on. It’s been a really positive experience (as well as the obvious ££ benefit too of course)

So you’d sleep peacefully at night knowing that an adult man was sleeping in a bedroom metres away from your children who you barely knew?

Did you at least only have women lodgers?

Did you ever leave your children when they were, let’s say 10 and 13 alone in the house with the lodger also there?

@Sorejaws

As you can see from my first post re having lodgers, I have only ever had female lodgers.