We’ve not been invited to anything by anyone all summer. No play dates. Nothing. Anyone else?

[Onionringsforbreakfast]

Got one DD age 7

We’ve not been invited to anything all summer. Nothing. Not one play date. I want to cry.

Have hosted at least 3x play dates and 2x BBQs at our house. I also tried to arrange a get together on the school year group WhatsApp but was met with tumbleweed.

Thankfully DD does various clubs and camps so she does see other kids her age.

I’m sat here wondering what’s wrong with me / us?? Or is this just life in 2025?

I feel awful for my kind, wonderful DD

Here, people are away, often for long periods. We have had friends over but not been to theirs as people are so busy.

We never did playdates in the holidays at that age. Most parents were working and kids in childcare, so socialising with other kids there. We also usually go away for a week or two. On my precious days off I wanted to do things as a family, I really valued time with my DCs in the summer. I don't think it's you or your DD, it is just not a priority for a lot of people with limited annual leave to take.

It's not you. A huge amount of my parent friends work through the holidays and kids are at grandparents or holiday clubs.
My DD is 5 and some days I just have to pull my sleeves up and do things like baking together, window shopping, playground, soft play. Stuff she's happy doing with just me for company.

She easily makes friends though.

We used to find this - other parents were working kids were in childcare or with DGP or other family or on expenive days out with parents.

When we moved - often different work patterns - and as kids got older so could make own plans it did improve.

We did same as you - we also did a family hoilday and kids went to family in different part of UK- so that and groups/lessons, day trips and hanging out with each other - seem to be quite a busy 6 weeks for them.

A lot of people are happy to take but not give. When my dc were small I would host others more often as we had a slightly bigger house and garden but sometimes I felt taken for granted and would make less effort to organise stuff until others got the hint and pulled their weight. Maybe just focus on your dd and your own family unit for a bit until others make an effort.

Before the holiday starts ,I message friends and put dates in the calendar. It helps before people get too busy.

It's not you. Don't think it is. It will be a mix of parents juggling childcare and work during the holidays, being on vacation or visiting family or having granny to stay and mind DC. Your child has socialised at holiday clubs. That's a good thing. Did you have a family holiday away? if so then you have made a good summer for everyone. DH and I used to put a lot of effort into inviting others and rarely got invited back. Then we stopped. Now several friends regularly invite us and we rarely return the compliment. We just got worn out in the years when it was always our turn.

DS actually didn’t want any play dates this summer - he was at GPs, then on holiday with us, and then in holiday club, and on the two weeks left he just wanted to “chillax” in his words (god knows where he learned that phrase but to him it basically means sitting on the sofa watching tv or playing Minecraft). I did drag him out on a few days but he didn’t really want to do anything even with me! I asked about play dates but he said no, he would be seeing everyone at school anyway. Which seemed a bit cold to me but there you go, that’s 8 year old boys for you.

Kids are all over-scheduled these days (because parents are in work etc) so I guess it is nice for them to do nothing once in a while. It’s not like when we were kids, when you would be sitting doing nothing for 6 weeks unless you met up with your friends.

It's been so long since anyone invited us to a barbecue or anything of that ilk, I no longer expect it. I have a couple of besties I do things with, and are going on a dinner date with another couple next month. That'll do me.

I really wouldn't take it personally. People work during the holidays, so loads of kids in clubs/camps. Weekends people tend to stick to family time or are on holiday.

I've noticed a lot go to grandparents as well, for days/weeks etc.

We've had no meet ups either. I don't work in the summer, so it's been long and hard.

Years ago, kids were sent out to play with whoever was around and they took ownership of their time a bit more. Now it's all on adults to engineer, I think there are fewer meet ups for some of the reasons above but also some people just find meets up a chore

Maybe they are like us and avoid play dates etc during the holidays.

We prefer just to see family over the summer. We are so busy during the term with social things we are always pleased to have a break. We’ve been away, gone on days out, done projects around house.

My kids don’t really want play dates in the summer. Have had a couple of invites and reciprocated those but that’s it.

Honestly if you have hosted 2 barbecues and 3 play dates it does seem odd that you haven’t had anything back. Everything we have hosted here has been reciprocated in one way or another. I don’t blame you for feeling a bit fed up. People surely aren’t busy for the entire 6/7 weeks?

We haven't invited anyone over because in the week there's been work, holiday clubs or away on holiday. We've been busy most weekends too.

It’s not you, don’t take it personally. Everyone has to work now a days which takes up a huge chuck of time.

I’m a working parent myself, as is DH. Professional careers, DH especially works long hours.
We took 2 family holidays and I still managed to host a few play dates.

I agree with the above posters, we haven't invited anyone because I'm either working so she's at holiday club, or I've got leave and we're away. We've been away most weekends either on holiday or visiting friends. It's just the time of year, not you.

If you've been away twice and still managed to host five times, then maybe people feel they've seen a lot of you in a short period of time?

Do you not work?

Anyone who works doesn't have time to organise anything nice.
And family holidays happen throughout the summer holiday period.

When my older two (16,14) were younger I always had either a house full of kids or the pair of them away for days on end at sleepovers.

This summer the youngest two (twins, 10) have really only had dhs best mates kid here the whole 8 weeks.

DH has just had a major operation, in hospital for weeks and not one of our friends offered to have either of the twins for a day, nevermind an hour.

People are weird.

Same here! DD is 5. I organized a couple but got no invites. Most of DD’s mates have other siblings / grandparents etc so not much opportunity to host playdates. Plus people are away etc.

I’ve kind of accepted the fact that with an only child and no grandparents nearby we have to make more effort to host and entertain other kids!

If you've been away twice and still managed to host five times, then maybe people feel they've seen a lot of you in a short period of time

Hosted 5 different friends not the same friends 5 times

We only had one week staying in UK and we had 4 playdates but I have been building these relationships the whole course. I think for parents who work 9 to 5 it's more difficult as they can't have playdates or coffee with other parents.

Also DD at private school so holidays 9 weeks off not 6

Most Parents still work over the summer and will be trying to juggle holiday clubs etc. My DDs spend some days with grandparents for childcare so it can be difficult to expect them to be taking them all over for different play dates.

Then you have people going away on holiday, sometimes DC going on two different holidays if parents not together.

The holiday is actually only 6 weeks, it does fly by for some families.

Don’t take it personally

It’s not you. Nobody seems to host these days.