So apparently I'm having 18 people for a lunch party on Monday.

[Womblealongwithme]

DH and I were supposed to be at a party 3 weeks ago and unfortunately, I came down with a sickness bug so DH went on his own.

He has just reminded me about the bank holiday party we're having on Monday and asked what I needed him to do for it. Except I wasn't at the party and knew nothing about said party. DH is the loveliest, kindest man on the planet and was diagnosed with ADHD about 10 years ago, which means that sometimes, he has conversations with me in his head, that don't quite make it to me! (Like inviting all and sundry to said bank holiday party!) So, dear readers, I need ideas from you lot quickly. We don't have a barbecue so I have my fridge and an oven and not a lot of kitchen space.

Add to that, that most of tomorrow will be taken up with various sporting activities for DS and DD so I don't have a whole lot of time, pretty much Monday morning only! Oh and it needs to cater for vegetarian and coeliac guests. Help!

Disclaimer - DH will absolutely be involved in prep and feel awful that he has sprung this on me!

Oh come on - Shakespeare didn't write "Anyone got any quick poison antidotes?". He wrote 'Romeo and Juliet'. OP wrote a fascinating story, and some of us were gripped.

Anyway, my fuckwittery was broadly correct: they did contact the guests (well the OP did it herself); three-quarters of them accepted (more than the half I predicted); they had a great time.

Kudos to OP for coming back, though we still only have half the story. DH thought he'd invited them but hadn't, didn't he.

OP, thanks for the update, good to hear all went well. It was me who suggested it was a hoax thread, because I found it hard to believe that any woman would be happy with having this sprung on them, and that any of the 18 on the guest list made no mention of the invitation beforehand. But if it’s genuine, then fair enough.

You're right. You're guessing. You said it right there in your own post. Like I said, some people just make stuff up from breadcrumbs. Like you did. 🤷

Throw us another crumb then - did any of them know there was a confirmed invitation before you WhatsApped them on Sunday?

The OP has said repeatedly that this wasn't a biggie for her. Slhe knows how her husband's mind works. She likes entertaining her friends. She is not some poor down-trodden woman unable to stick up for herself. I really don't know why so many people insist that she is!

My sister is very much like her. Her husband doesn't have the excuse of ADHD - he can just sometimes be a bit thoughtless - but she just rolls with it. If it was something that really wouldn't work for her she would make him let everyone know it was cancelled or, more likely, put off to another day.

Don't project your own fears, insecurities, anger or anything else onto her.

Then why tell us?

Why are you so invested? It happened, days ago. It's done. Who sent a WhatsApp and when cannot be of any consequence to anyone now surely?

You're right, the event is of no consequence. But I am fascinated by the thread. I was professionally concerned with communication, especially when it went wrong. It was often my job to sort out boardroom misunderstandings to prevent serious losses. Now I'm a writer and speaker, the same applies. As well as genuinely interesting stories, and the chance to share knowledge and perhaps lend support, Mumsnet is a microcosm of rhetoric and discourse playing out in real time.

Blimey, you seem to be terribly invested in a gathering we had two days ago, for someone who doesn't actually care. I don't know how you can be bothered writing all that, even I'm bored with my own thread now. 🤣 Let it go love, it really isn't and never was, that deep.

Were you born a twat or was it learned behaviour?

Right you are then. 😂😂😂

I don't actually care about your attempts to minimise your husband's behaviour though, or the party or how it turned out.

Bloody hell. Bet you wish you’d never asked OP! Glad it went well.

Throw us another crumb then - did any of them know there was a confirmed invitation before you WhatsApped them on Sunday?

Anyone can google or ChatGPT ideas for catering last minute in seconds. It’s not that deep or hard. The truth is there is a back story as to why op posted on here, because she IS exasperated with her husband, understandably so, and posters picked up on the REASON for her issue and thread, and not a menu that can be produced in seconds by AI.

If op wants to pretend he is the ‘loveliest’ most considerate dh in the world, then let her, it’s clearly not true and on some level she knows full well a truly decent dh would never do this to their better halves. Perhaps he has a drink problem and does this kind of thing regularly?!

As others have pointed out. I wonder what else he dumps on op? I doubt this is the first time or the last. The thread makes op uncomfortable, because it highlights a deeper problem, one she isn’t willing to look at atm.

Indeed, there's more than one layer to this thread. OP seems to enjoy throwing parties, not be fazed by last-minute arrangements and to be on board with DH's ND. So it wasn't a disaster and she made the party happen. But why all the detail if there's not an undercurrent of dramatic tension? And why ignore the repeated questions about whether DH only thought he'd invited people but hadn't? Just like he thought he'd told OP?

It’s equally possible that op posted here because she knew she would receive advice from experienced hosts who could offer proven recipes or menus that they know work in rl. And that is what she got!

Sometimes you just have to meet people where they are at. Not everything has a hidden meaning! Nor do you have to patronise the op.

Op seems perfectly articulate to me, If she was worried about her marriage, she is perfectly capable of asking for advice on that front too. But she didnt.

She was simply going through an omg so much to do, so little time moment, and she got the support she needed.

There is some sickeningly ableist fiction being posted here by people who seem to know fuck all about ADHD.

Glad your party went well OP.

I know nothing about ADHD but would not tolerate large, last minute hosting/catering requests.

ADJD doesn’t stretch to and will never stretch to absolving an adult of all personal responsibility.

There is no issue with him forgetting to mention it as such, although I take issue with him inviting them in the first place, without checking with op.

Having done so, the very least he should have done was organise the bloody food himself, he is not completely incapable despite what you say! I seem to manage it, and my adhd has got worse with age not better.

I find the whole thing a bloody farce. Too many excuses, too much gushing.

If OP is perfectly articulate, why can't she tell us whether the guests knew they were invited or not?

Thanks for the update op, glad the gathering went well. You can’t go wrong with a buffet.