So apparently I'm having 18 people for a lunch party on Monday.

[Womblealongwithme]

DH and I were supposed to be at a party 3 weeks ago and unfortunately, I came down with a sickness bug so DH went on his own.

He has just reminded me about the bank holiday party we're having on Monday and asked what I needed him to do for it. Except I wasn't at the party and knew nothing about said party. DH is the loveliest, kindest man on the planet and was diagnosed with ADHD about 10 years ago, which means that sometimes, he has conversations with me in his head, that don't quite make it to me! (Like inviting all and sundry to said bank holiday party!) So, dear readers, I need ideas from you lot quickly. We don't have a barbecue so I have my fridge and an oven and not a lot of kitchen space.

Add to that, that most of tomorrow will be taken up with various sporting activities for DS and DD so I don't have a whole lot of time, pretty much Monday morning only! Oh and it needs to cater for vegetarian and coeliac guests. Help!

Disclaimer - DH will absolutely be involved in prep and feel awful that he has sprung this on me!

I’d be telling him to organise the whole thing and make sure he’s cleaned the house as well.

Cross contamination matters for coeliacs so I might cater for them with something processed that can go into the microwave/ oven without touching anything else, maybe covered in tinfoil.

For everyone saying it’s absolutely fine, are you saying that if 3 weeks ago you were invited to a meal at someone’s house on Bank Holiday, you would not have been in contact with the host to confirm details, ask if you can help, general chat in that intervening period

They're not coming, are they (DH fucked up on both counts). But OP won't be back either.

All doormats are horizontal made me laugh! Not unkind but absolutely true!

That's a matter of opinion (the unkind part, obviously).

Sorry to disappoint you ducky, a female person who isn't a drama queen and can cope with things as an adult. Maybe that's why we were married for 51 years before he died.

Another post has just vanished as though it was never here just whilst I was trying to report it.

What was it about? Perhaps others reported it and it was taken down. Hope this one doesn't go the same way!

Ok, so let’s say OP didn’t come on here to ask other women for food suggestions, and did nothing to “help” her husband cater or prep for, or host his impromptu 18-person dinner. How do you think it would go?

Why did he “have your mum” make a meal for them instead of doing it himself?

Batshit, all of it. I’m picturing OP merrily preparing a meal for 18 people, none of whom will be coming on the basis of a vague, unconfirmed invite 3 weeks ago. Though I’m sure that will be ‘no problem’ as well and ‘we’ll just freeze it’ and ‘the DC are big eaters’.

Sorry OP, it sounds bloody awful and I’d just go out and leave him to it. He can do a supermarket sweep and buy cheeses, crusty bread, olives, nice veggie bits. Disclaimer - I’m a bit miserable and dislike small talky parties, especially on a sunny bank hol.

Room for one more? 😁
I can whip up a tiramisu to bring. 😋

Because we’ve all eaten his cooking and starvation in a damp tent is infinitely preferable!

That’s not the case though, so why are you imagining and responding to a totally different scenario than the op described?

The op has clearly stated that she is happy to host with her husband, they are both going to prep for the party, it is their friends who are coming and she is looking forward to the party.

I think someone would be putting in a large take away order while someone else went to pick up cold ones 🤣

And I'd still be inviting myself round. 😄🤞

Agree.

The OP wanted catering ideas. At no point has she asked for an appraisal of herself, her husband or her marriage but she's still relieved plenty of them 🙄.

It was the OP (and her husband) who made a crisis out of it, not the responders, who mostly just suggested she at least hand the mental load back to him.

It’s a bloody forum! Of course people are going to comment. Particularly when they can clearly see another woman being used as a doormat. You can’t censor other people’s opinion just because they feel differently to you! Many of us didn’t feel comfortable offering catering advice to bail out another entitled man! Op might think it’s fine and dandy for him to behave like this, but many of us were horrified. My dh included!

Many of us can see op ia being a doormat and has no boundaries at all with her dh. Pp can say what they think. If op was so happy and chill with the situation why bother to post at all? Anyone can cobble together a bloody buffet!

These ladies are plain nasty. Probably think you should leave him. You seem very nice and I hope the party goes well. What is the divorce rate in the UK?

Are you five years old? What value has your post added exactly?

How disappointing I am was looking forward to seeing what the OP had decided to make !

Oh and it's so much more than this now. I'm so invested, as the big day dawns. And hoping so badly the OP relents and comes back. OP's strange reluctance to check in with anyone. Surely DH just thinks he invited them. Just as he thought he'd told OP. Did anybody confirm yesterday? Of course not. They're not coming. I want to hear how they looked at their haul from Costco, realised they now needed to magic up a dozen guests from nowhere, pulled it off and delivered a resounding success.

💯

it calls into doubt the veracity of this thread when the OP gives us information we can do nothing with - I mean why start it with the clickbait title So apparently I'm having 18 people for a lunch party on Monday, and all the extraneous detail about how they were never told - when all they needed to say was "need help for a last minute gathering on Monday" if they didn't want comments about how not to be treated like a skivvy,

and they are delusional if they think their husband is the kindest person on the planet pulling that stunt. If they've made a cockup, then being kind means cancelling and apologising instead of leaving the OP running around after them doing wimmin's work sorting out BBQ food at their behest.

Totally agree. I still think it’s a hoax thread though